Text Messages 121-150

121. Minsan, hindi sapat na mahal mo ang isang tao at alam mo na mahalaga ka para sa kanya. Kasi, bago ang lahat, dapat, alam mo ang pinagkaiba ng mahal sa mahalaga lang!

122. Pare, tulungan mo ako. Panay kalabit ng asawa ko. Anong problema doon. Wala ka ba sa mood? Eh hindi ganoon. 3 taon nang patay ang asawa ko eh.

123. Maraming bagay ang gumugulo sa isip ko. Bukod sa trabaho, pamilya, pag-ibig, barkada, pera, ang mas gumugulo sa utak ko ay, kung ano talaga ang tagalog sa shampoo?

124. Gusto mo ngang magmahal, wala namang dumarating. May darating nga, sasaktan ka lang naman, bakit kaya ganun? Samantalang yung iba, kahit mukhang paa, tatlo-tatlo ang syota, nangangarir pa!

125. Ano daw ang bagong sinasakyan ni Gretchen? Ano daw? Eh, di, Strada!!

126. Bawat luha ay mahalaga kaya siguraduhin mong bawat pagluha ay sa karapat-dapat na tao dahil ang luha kapag tumulo ay hindi na maibabalik sa mata, hindi tulad ng uhog na pwedeng masinghot pa. =)

127. God's blessing may come as a surprise and how much you receive depends on how much your heart can believe. May you be blessed beyond what you expect! Good morning.

128. One night the moon said 'If he makes you cry then why don't you leave him?' I paused for awhile then looked back at the moon and said 'Moon, would you ever leave your sky?'

129. Learn. But always learn with other people by your side. Don't be alone in the search because if you take a wrong step, you'll have no one there to help put you right. - Paulo Coelho (The Witch of Portobello)

130. Merry Christmas! May God shower us more with His blessings. May we find life's true meaning as we further reflect on this blessed season. More love, happiness, success and good health!

131. Some people look for the perfect person to love but they don't realize that a person becomes perfect when we begin to love them sincerely.

132. Morning is a wonderful blessing, either stormy or sunny, it stands for hope, giving us another start of what we called life. Good morning!

133. Friends are the best interpreters, coz even in silence, even when nothing is said and even if they don't know what has happened, they don't ask you questions. They just understand!

134. Gusto mong malaman ang wish ko? Sana, isang araw, paggising ko sa umaga, ikaw ang una kong makita, nakangiti sa akin, habang ibinubulong mo sa akin, 'Señorito, ito na po ang kape nyo. May ipag-uutos pa ba kayo?!' =)

135. Two boys talking and reached the topic about love. Boy1: Pre, kumusta ang lovelife mo? Boy2: Wala, ganun pa rin. Boy1: Bakit pare? Kayo pa rin? Boy2: Hindi pre, ikaw pa rin!

136. Those who thank God even in trial turn the burden into blessings. So keep your faith close to your heart and God shall provide the comfort you need. God bless!!!

137.

138. Hindi madaling maghintay, hindi rin biro magmahal, minsan, akala mo, sya na, minsan, akala mo, ok na. Pero mamamalayan mo na lang, dumaan lang sya para paibigin ka.

139. If your friend is too frank that what he/she says hurts you, don’t get mad ‘coz Donkey once told Shrek: “only true friends can be cruelly honest.”

140. Why do girls require honesty in a relationship? It's because girls don't want to live on lies! Keep this in mind: Girls rather choose to be dumped than being cheated!

141. Do you know what is “Inner Row?” What is Inner Row? Inner row... is that which comes before Pibrerow, Marsow, Abril, Mayow, Hunyow, Hulyow, Agustow! Hehe.

142. A lawyer driving on a highway notices a crowd in an intersection. With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action, he shouted, 'I'm the son of the victim!' Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through. There he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people, a pig bumped by a trailer truck!

143. Nasa bangka ka, kasama mo ang syota mong two-timer at yung bestfriend mong backfighter nang biglang lumubog yung bangka. Anong una mong sasagipin, yung bangka o yung sagwan? =)

144. Some say, 'It's not love if you have doubts.' I say, 'Sometimes, we just refuse to believe.' They say, 'You can't love somebody you haven't met.' I say, 'I haven't met God but I love Him.'

145. Let the Nicole's case be a lesson to every man. Huwag humangad ng libre o makatipid, magbayad ng tama. Pagkatapos bigyan ng pamasahe, huwag iwan sa kalye. At pakiusap lang, ibalik yun panty!

146. Tatay: Ano ba ang hanap mo dyan sa supot ng 3 in 1 coffee mo at kanina ka pang silip nang silip dyan? Anak: Hinahanap ko po ang libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na 'Sugar Free' eh. Tatay: Bobo! Banda yun!

147. Dog owner sent his dog to Obedience School. When dog returned, he wanted to see what it learned. Owner: Roll! (The dog didn't roll.) Shake! (The dog didn't shake.) Sit! (Still nothing.) He bring back dog to trainor. Trainor: Siguro sir, hindi nyo sinabi ng tama. Pakita ko sa iyo sir. Set! (Dog sat.) Sheek! (Dog shook hand.) Rule! (Dog rolled.)

148. When your life goes wrong, don't waste your time looking back at what you've lost for the road of life was not meant to be travelled backwards, just move on and say, 'I'm with God, I will get through.'

149. It is better to tell the truth and make someone cry than to tell a lie and make someone smile, so, don't be shy to tell the truth that I am cute. I will not cry, promise!

150. There are tulips in my garden, there are tulips in the park, but nothing is more beautiful than our two lips meeting in the dark!

continue reading Text Messages 121-150...

Text Messages 91-120

91. Demonyo, dumating sa park. Pari: Sa kapangyarihan at paniniwala ko, umalis ka, demonyo! Alis! Demonyo: Wow! Parang sa kanya ang park! Ang yabang!!

92. There's no special reason kung bakit ako nagtetext. Gusto lang kitang abalahin, kasi, alam ko na busy ka. And hope to make you smile and say, 'Hehehe, si kukote talaga, papansin!'

93. Competence goes beyond words. It's the ability of the leader to say it, plan it and do it in such a way that others know that you know how, and know that they want to follow. - J. Maxwell.

94. With my 1 heart, 2 eyes, 5 liters of blood, 206 bones, 1.2 million red blood cells, 60 trillion DNA, I want you to know that... Gusto ko lang magyabang about anatomy! Hahaha!

95. If you’re facing trouble right now, don’t ask “why me?” Instead ask, “What do you want me to learn?”then trust God and keep on doing what is right. Don’t give up! Grow up!

96. Prayer of the romantically disfranchised delusional or merely hopeful: 'Lord, kung sya na, please let everything fall into place. Pero kung hindi sya, eh Lord, pwede bang sya na lang?' =)

97. Question: Why do Dracula's neighbors hate him? Answer: Because he is a pain in the neck!

98. Naranasan mo na bang maholdap sa San Pedro? Magulpi sa Binan? Maambush at tamaan ng ligaw na bala kapag fiesta sa Sta. Rosa? Mapatay sa bangko sa Cabuyao? Mamasaccre sa Calamba? Mabaril sa daan sa Los Banos? Mataga sa Calauan? Makuha ng puting van sa San Pablo? Tara, byahe tayo. Silipin natin ang ganda ng Laguna. Byahe na! Nyahaha!

99. By some mischief of fate, we might only truly fall in love once. You know that one great love old folks refer to. Many lovers may get into our lives but there is only one person with that one smile, one kiss, one hug and one moment, that our hearts will never replace. That person, usually but sadly, is the one that got away. That's why after all the chips are down, we know, we just know, we'll never fall in love that way again.

100. Pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako! - libag.

101. Sometimes, you have to try not to care no matter how much you do. Because sometimes, you can mean nothing to someone who means everything to you.

102. Sometimes, when you love someone very much, you have to go thru every tear, every heartache, every pain. Because in the end, it's not how you suffered, but how much you loved!

103. This message is for selected people who made me smile, who became a part of my life and to those I will forever cherish like you. Thank you for being a friend.

104. I hate liquor and I hate men. To me, they are my enemies! But then again, God said, 'Love your enemies.' So, what can I do? Disobey God? Amen.

105. The best rehab center is the vag!na. Lahat ng pumasok, hard headed, brusko, bully at tigasin. Paglabas, nanlalata, nalalambot, humble, with no sign of vengeance! Hehehe.

106. Today, don't say any unkind words. Think of the people who can't speak. Don't complain about the food you eat, some have nothing. Don't complain about life, many die young. When you're tired of your job, think of the jobless, the disabled and those who wish they had yours. When sad thoughts seem to put you down, put a smile on your face, be positive and be thankful you're alive and still around. Life is a gift from God. Live it well. Good morning!

107. Question. Can love really last a lifetime? Answer: Scientist found out that romantic love involves chemical changes in the brain that last 12-18 months. After that, you and your partner are on your own. Love can absolutely last for a lifetime as desired to be maintained. Meaning, it's both your choice. Bottom line: It will last, if both of you wants to commit. Source: Reader's Digest, May 2006.

108. Jesus and Satan competed on the computer. They started typing. They did every known job, reports, e-mails, attachments and downloads. But before the time was up, lightning, thunder and rain, and brownout came! Satan cursed. Jesus just sighed. When electricity was back, Satan lost every single thing he had done. But Jesus started printing all his files. Satan shouted: You cheated! Jesus just smiled. He did what Satan didn't know: Jesus saves.

109. Always remember, life is never without a problem, never without difficulty, never without hurtful moments, but never without God to lean on! Good morning!

110. Ey, question. Uhhmm! Can you recommend a good bank where I can make a deposit? Because I'm planning to save all my love for you! Yun yun eh! Happy Valentine's Day!

111. What part of a man's body can turn stiff and really throbbing when in motion? Nirarayumang legs!

112. You're in my life for a reason, thus, I welcome you into my heart with open arms. Thanks for gift of your friendship. It's not how short or long you stay. The point is: you came! =)

113. Titiisin na sana kita, iiwasan at kakalimutan, kahit saglit, kahit mahirap, kakayanin, pipilitin. Pero balewala rin pala, hindi ko pala kaya. Kasi, naka-unlimited ako. Dapat, sinasamantala. =)

114. You are searching for things that don't exist - ends and beginnings. There are no such things. There are only middles. - Robert Frost.

115. I love mornings! It makes me think of the value of life, it asks me to live not on yesterday's sorrows nor tomorrow's dreams, but today's blessings! Good morning! Magandang umaga!

116. If you are continually being defeated by everything you face, your heart has departed from God. Examine your heart. Choose to listen to God, then obey what He tells you. No matter what you face, you will experience victory! God bless.

117. Police arrests a prostitute who protests: I am not selling sex! Cop: Then, what are you doing? Prostitute: I'm a saleswoman selling condoms and offering free demo!

118. Why are we friends? Dahil praning ako, praning ka rin. Baliw ako, baliw ka rin. Maloko ako, maloko ka rin. Cute ako, wala ng space.

119. Life can be happier and less stressful if we remember one simple thought: We can't have all that we desire but GOd will give us all that we deserve.

120. Love should never be a secret. If you keep something as complicated as love stored up inside, it will make you sick. - Spiderman.

continue reading Text Messages 91-120...

Text Messages 61-90

61. Let the blessings of God flow in your life like springs of living water of rivers that never run dry. God cares for you today, tomorrow and for always. Good morning!

62. Cow story. USA has cowboy. England has mad cow. China has macow. Russia has Moscow. And the Philippine government tops them all, it has all kinds of magnanacow!

63. Husband: Love, galing ako sa urologist today, sabi, baog daw ako. Wife: Hah?! Eh galing ako sa Ob-Gyne, sabi, buntis ako! Buti na lang, nabuntis ako bago ka pa nabaog!!

64. Two men drinking: Man1: Pare, bakit hanggang ngayon, wala ka pa ring girlfriend? Tingnan mo ako, nakakailan na. Wala ka bang natitipuhan? Man2: (Blushed) Meron. Manhid ka lang kasi!

65. Matamis man ang pakwan, mas matamis pa rin di hamak ang nakilala, minahal, niligawan, hinalikan at niyakap bago nagpakwan.

66. It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

67. When problems seem unbearable and solutions are too elusive, never try to give up on life. Why? Oh come on! Hindi mo alam, grabe ang struggle ng sperm mareach lang ang egg para mabuhay ka noh?

68. Some people misunderstood my attitude, some get hurt the way I talk, others get angry with how I stare but what can I do if that's really me? Sorry, I'm not perfect! And not fake!

69. It isn't everyday that I get the chance to thank you for the love and friendship. I may not offer the greatest kind, but it is certainly my best. Salamat ha, sa lahat, mula simula.

70. Kagabi, nanaginip ako. Pumangit daw lahat ng hindi nagtetext. Naisip kita! Natakot ako! Text ka nga kung cute ka pa!

71. When you don't feel good right now, try sitting down and think of the things that made you feel bad but you must accept that there are so many things beyond your control, try not to be affected, just smile and think of good things. Remember, being happy has always been a matter of choice.

72. Being with someone doesn't guarantee happiness. It doesn't matter how long you've been alone, how long you've hoped, or how long you've waited. There's no such thing as a perfect love story. Hearthaches will always be a part of loving. But remember though not perfect, if that love is meant for you, it will stick with you till the end. No matter how tough it gets, no matter how long. Far from perfect but real.

73. What if you love the wrong person? Are you going to give up or hold on? Maybe you need to do nothing, just continue loving. Who knows? Maybe that love might be enough to make that person the right one.

74. We heal our minds whenever we let bad memories go. We heal our souls whenever we pray and we heal our hearts whenever we forgive. God bless you!

75. People will adore and love you for all the good things you've done for them, but will hate you for a single mistake. That's the irony of life. - Uncle Ben of Spiderman.

76. Masaya lang tayo kapag may mga messages, minsan kahit na walang kwenta, basta galing sa mahal mo, masaya ka na! Kapag galing ba sa akin, masaya ka ba? Kahit wala akong kwenta?

77. I saw something in the shop window today. It was stunning sexy, cute, beautiful and adorable. I was supposed to buy it for you till I realized it was my own REFLECTION.

78. Kung hindi mo kayang magpaliwanag, magpagabi ka na lang!

79. Life is unpredictable, anything could just happen. It might be success or a mess, but for as long as we're learning on the Lord's side, we'll win because God never loses a battle. God bless!

80. Life is a game. Sometimes,we miss and get hurt. But life doesn't end when our heartache begins. It only ends when we give up and stop believing. Seize the day!

81. Babae: Walang hiya kang lalake ka! Ginabi ka na naman! Lasing ka pa! Ang kapal ng mukha mo! Hayop ka talaga! Lalaki: Tumahimik ka nga Inday! Katulong ka lang dito!

82. Relationships are worth restoring. 'Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody' Romans 12:18.

83. The biggest lie on this planet is 'When I get what I want, I will be happy.' All things have a replacement, so when you get something you want, you lose something you need.

84. Hello, I am Cordelia. I died in a fire 10 years ago. Unless you send this message on to 10 other people, I will come to your room tonight and stare at you. I look like a three-year old - without a face. I will show up every night. You have seven minutes to send this.

85. The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now. Life is all about love. Live and love all the days of you life! Happy Valentine's Day!

86. God created mornings so that we can say how great the previous day has been, and how wonderful the next 24 hours would be. Let God rule you today! Good morning!

87. Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sa iyo. Ayoko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao, ganun mo na lang ako itanggi! - utot.

88. Loving is not what we see but what we feel, not how we listen but how we understand, not how we forget but how we forgive. Loving is holding on even when the pain dares you to let go.

89. A train is about to crash! A frantic virgin strips off and says, 'Can anyone make me feel like a woman before I die?' So a man takes off his clothes and says, 'Iron these!'

90. Someday, if you find yourself thinking of the people who made you smile, I hope my name would come up on your list. I maybe the last but at least I did something to make you smile. Good morning.

continue reading Text Messages 61-90...

Text Messages 31-60

31. Someday, it's gonna be too late to say the things that must be said. So before time turns against us, just let me say this... You've make my life happy in ways you never see. =)

32. Ang pagmamahal ay hindi inaasahan, dumarating ng biglaan. Magugulat ka na lang minsan, kapag bumili ka sa tindahan, 1.50 na pala ang isang Boy Bawang! Ang bilis magmahal!

33. Teacher: Bakit wala si Mary sa Last Supper? Erap (scratching head): Siya ang nagKodak!?!

34. When I was walking alone, I wished that I can reach the end of the road. But when you walked with me, I wish the road would never end because I would rather be lost with you than to reach the end without you.

35. Add Jesus to your life; subtract all your fears; multiply your good works; divide your blessings; equals wonderful life.

36. Kahit gumamit pa kayo ng pinakamaganda, pinakamagaling at pinakamahal na plantsa sa buong mundo, hindi nyo kayang tanggalin ang gusot sa buhay ko! Sumasainyo, bayag.

37. Eh busy? Eh busy D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. Galing noh? Want to? Want to 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Galing talaga!

38. Mahilig ako sa music. Ganda sa pakiramdam, nakakagaan ng problema, nakakapagpalakas ng loob. Pero alam mo kung bakit gustong gusto ko ito? Kasi naalala kita. Sa akin kasi, isa ka sa pinakamagandang kanta.

39. When you find faults from someone you love, hold on, don't judge nor doubt but trust and understand that someone is doing best to love you more. Remember, love has nothing to explain.

40. Announcing a new technological breakthrough of the new millenium: A new napkin designed to satisfy every woman's secret fantasy. Introducing... Whisper with tongue!

41. All my life, I've been looking for something to satisfy and make me happy. You know it's right when they say that happiness can be found in the simplest things, and I found it in 7 letters. 'FRIENDS'

42. DRAMA SA RADYO: “ Huwag mo akong hawakan, Berting nasasaktan ako! Magulo na ang buhok ko at pumapalag na ako ngayon!” “Magtapat ka Lorena! Habang lalong humihigpit ang hawak ko sa iyo !” “Tama na Berting! May nakikita ako ngayong kutsilyho sa mesa, kukunin ko ito at bigla kong isasaksak sayo…ayan nakuha ko na…sinasaksak na kita' “Ahhhh !!! sinaksak mo ako sa tiyan , ito ngayon nagdurugo at mamamatay na ako…ayan…patay na ako. ” ---buti na lang naimbento ang T.V.

43. Don't be unhappy if all your dreams never come true, just be thankful that your nightmares don't too.

44. Mga simpleng pangarap. 1. Ako, gusto kong maging nurse para makatulong sa kapwa. 2. Ako naman, doktor, para makagamot ng kapwa. 3. Ako, superhero para makasagip ng nagigipit na kapwa. 4. Ako, mayor, kasi, tutulungan ko ang kapwa ko. 5. Ako, presidente, maglilingkod ako sa kapwa ko. 6. Ganun ba? Ako, gusto ko na lang maging kapwa. Woohoo! Tiba tiba!

45. Gumawa si Erap ng letter gamit ang alphabet: ABC = always be careful. DEF = don't ever forget. GHI = go home immediately. JKLM = just keep loving me. NOPQRSTUVW = no one perfectly quite romantic shall treat u very well. Worry si Erap, kasi, 3 letra na lang natitira. Kaya isinulat nya: XYZ - Xee You Zoon!

46. There's music from heaven that takes away our tiredness; it is God's melody of love that quiets all our weariness. Hear it and find peace in His presence. Good morning!

47. I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're grown up, I have one question, Ano ba talagang nangyari??!

48. 'Ya Ye Yi Yo Yu' Ya: Sosyal na yes. Ye: Lasing na yes. Yi: Bisayang yes. Yo: Hip-hop na yes. Yu: One of the best people I've ever known. God bless!

49. I opened the door of your heart and saw that it was full, so full! I couldn't enter anymore. I closed the door and stood outside thinking, 'Ang daming pangit, nakakaOP!' =)

50. A memory of true friendship is like a favorite song; no matter how many times it plays again, you never get tired of it.

51. There are two kinds of worlds: the one you dream about and the real one. The challenge is not to choose but to make both worlds meet.

52. Minsan ba, nakikita mo akong kausap ang sarili ko? Ngayon, malabo mo na yung makita. Kasi, nag-away kami. Parang tanga kasi!

53. We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but never realized that some of the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes!

54. Sa magkakaibigan, dapat nagtutulungan. Kapag nadapa ka, tutulungan kita! Kapag nadapa ka ulit, itatayo kita at kapag nadapa ka na naman, sisipain na kita! Langya! Kinarir mo nah, lampa!

55. Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you.

56. A father was reading a newspaper. He didn't want to be disturbed by his little so he cut out a map of the world, tore it to pieces and gave it to her to assemble. After a while, she returned to him with the map all in perfect order, every piece in its place. The surprise father said, 'Honey, you don't know anything about geography, so how did you do it?' The innocent girl replied, 'The picture of Jesus is at the back and I know if I had Jesus at the right place, the whole world would be perfect.' Happy Easter!

57. Hope you wake up today with sunlight in your heart, success in your path, answers to your prayers and smile that will always be there in your eyes. Good morning!

58. Little prayers for little things fly heavenwards on little wings, and for all prayers great or small, God is there to read them all. Good night.

59. I am not a rich friend, walang gimik, walang luxurious car, walang mga condo, pero ito ang tandaan mo, kahit wala ako ng mga yan, friends pa rin tayo kahit alindog lang meron ako.

60. What is meant to be will always find a way.

continue reading Text Messages 31-60...

Text Messages 1-30

1. It's hard to choose someone to love, but the hardest part of loving is to admit that you have fallen in love with someone you didn't mean to love from the start.

2. A naked girl rode on a taxi. 'Bakit?' the girl asked the driver na nakatitig sa katawan nya. 'Ngayon ka lang ba nakakita ng hubad?' Driver: Hindi miss. Iniisip ko lang kung saan nakatago ang pamasahe mo.

3. Quote of the day. Embrace the future, for the future is what we make of it. Learn from the past for the past cannot be changed!

4. Like most people who get their hearts broken, he decided to move on. Wala naman syang magagawa eh. - Sam Milby's character, Kevin from You Got Me.

5. You’ll realize that you’ve spent 3 seconds of your life reading this.

6. Needing someone is like a parachute, if he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

7. Teacher: Juan, ano ang sinabi ng magulang mo nang makita ang grades mo? Juan: Lahat po ba o tatanggalin ko yung bad words? Teacher: Tanggalin mo ang bad words. Juan: Wala po!

8. What is wrong with your phone? I tried calling you, but the operator said, 'Welcome to the jungle! The monkey you are trying to call in on the tree. Please, try again later.'

9. Mga gatas ng babae: Dalagita - fresh. Dalaga - pasteurized. Bagong kasal - skimmed. Tagal nang kasal - yogurt. Matandang dalaga - taho. Lola - tokwa!

10. Lasing: Ipako ang mga bakla! Bakla: Takbo mga sister, takbo! Lasing: Ang gagamiting pako ay t*ti! Bakla: Balik mga sister! P*tang ina! Balik!!!

11. Alam ko, minsan, nakakabitin ako. - *some text missing*

12. Jr: I know the truth, Mom! Mom: Ha?! Ito P500, huwag ka lang maingay sa daddy mo ha? Jr: Dad, I know the truth! Dad: Ha?! Ito P1000, huwag ka lang maingay sa mommy mo ha! Jr: (Ok pala ito! Subukan ko nga din sa katulong namin.) Inday! Alam ko na ang katotohanan! Inday: Sa wakas! Yakapin mo ako, anak ko!

13. The Israelites saw Goliath and said, 'He is so big, we cannot win.' David saw Goliath and said, 'He is so big, I cannot miss!' Life is a matter of perspective. Good night!

14. Pagod ka na ba sa sobrang aral? Sawa ka na ba sa pagbabasa? Hilo ka na ba magmemorize? Gusto mo na bang sumuko dahil it's over na? Huwag kang ganyan! Symptoms lang yan ng isang future tambay!

15. Be sure to cherish things while you still have them. Not when they're gone. For one of the hardest things to deal with is regret. All the 'could have beens' and 'what ifs' could never bring them back. :(

16. Kapag niloko ka, huwag na huwag kang iiyak. Kapag iniwan ka, huwag mong habulin. Kapag sinaktan ka, huwag kang magmakaawa. Instead, be proud and say, 'Praise the Lord! Available na naman ako!'

17. I wish you the best of ber starting today. Bery healthy, bery happy, bery rich, bery well loved, bery kind, and most of all bery young looking always! Bery many blessings to you!

18. Ang taong bolero, masarap ka text. Ang taong tahimik, makulit sa text. Ang taong two timer, sweet sa text. Ang taong stick to one, matipid sa text. Ang taong pretty, eto, patext-text!

19. Kahit papaano, gusto ko din ng exposure! - singit.

20. Ano ang nagpasikat kay Erap? Wristband. Ano ang magpapayaman kay Abalos? Broadband. Ano ang magpapabagsak kay GMA? Husband!

21. Kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, ipapasok mo! Ipasagad mo! Huwag kang matakot masaktan. Dahil ang true love, mainit at masarap habang nakabaon sa puso't isipan! Hmm, ikaw ha?! Bad!

22. Let's congratulate Manny and Jinky Pacquiao for their baby girl. They'll name their baby after the combination of their names. Manny + Jinky = Manky. =)

23. Hey! Andito ako sa ospital ngayon! - nurse.

24. Sabi nila, love makes your heart beat fast, your body feel flushed with excitement, and your mind go around in circles. Naisip ko, love ba yun? Parang lasing lang eh.

25. Masarap magkaroon ng maraming kaibigan. May katawanan. May katripan. Enjoy ang buhay mo. Sarap mabuhay. Kaya friend, daming thank you ha?! Kasi, nag-eenjoy ako sa buhay ko dahil sa iyo!

26. I'm a person easily overwhelmed by the wonders this world can give. But I would leave all these just to laugh my heart out over cups of coffee on lazy days like this with someone like you! Good morning!

27. Naglalakad, nagtetext, nasagasaan, patay. Kumakain, nagtetext, nabilaukan, patay. Nagdadrive, nagtetext, nabangga, patay. May cellphone, walang nagtetext, nagpakamatay.

28. The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes wisdom. You have to know what to do to make your marriage work. Love in marriage is a decision, not just a feeling.

29. Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet bowl. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.

30. Faith is the ability to not panic.

continue reading Text Messages 1-30...

Text Messages 1-30

1. It's hard to choose someone to love, but the hardest part of loving is to admit that you have fallen in love with someone you didn't mean to love from the start.

2. A naked girl rode on a taxi. 'Bakit?' the girl asked the driver na nakatitig sa katawan nya. 'Ngayon ka lang ba nakakita ng hubad?' Driver: Hindi miss. Iniisip ko lang kung saan nakatago ang pamasahe mo.

3. Quote of the day. Embrace the future, for the future is what we make of it. Learn from the past for the past cannot be changed!

4. Like most people who get their hearts broken, he decided to move on. Wala naman syang magagawa eh. - Sam Milby's character, Kevin from You Got Me.

5. You’ll realize that you’ve spent 3 seconds of your life reading this.

6. Needing someone is like a parachute, if he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

7. Teacher: Juan, ano ang sinabi ng magulang mo nang makita ang grades mo? Juan: Lahat po ba o tatanggalin ko yung bad words? Teacher: Tanggalin mo ang bad words. Juan: Wala po!

8. What is wrong with your phone? I tried calling you, but the operator said, 'Welcome to the jungle! The monkey you are trying to call in on the tree. Please, try again later.'

9. Mga gatas ng babae: Dalagita - fresh. Dalaga - pasteurized. Bagong kasal - skimmed. Tagal nang kasal - yogurt. Matandang dalaga - taho. Lola - tokwa!

10. Lasing: Ipako ang mga bakla! Bakla: Takbo mga sister, takbo! Lasing: Ang gagamiting pako ay t*ti! Bakla: Balik mga sister! P*tang ina! Balik!!!

11. Alam ko, minsan, nakakabitin ako. - *some text missing*

12. Jr: I know the truth, Mom! Mom: Ha?! Ito P500, huwag ka lang maingay sa daddy mo ha? Jr: Dad, I know the truth! Dad: Ha?! Ito P1000, huwag ka lang maingay sa mommy mo ha! Jr: (Ok pala ito! Subukan ko nga din sa katulong namin.) Inday! Alam ko na ang katotohanan! Inday: Sa wakas! Yakapin mo ako, anak ko!

13. The Israelites saw Goliath and said, 'He is so big, we cannot win.' David saw Goliath and said, 'He is so big, I cannot miss!' Life is a matter of perspective. Good night!

14. Pagod ka na ba sa sobrang aral? Sawa ka na ba sa pagbabasa? Hilo ka na ba magmemorize? Gusto mo na bang sumuko dahil it's over na? Huwag kang ganyan! Symptoms lang yan ng isang future tambay!

15. Be sure to cherish things while you still have them. Not when they're gone. For one of the hardest things to deal with is regret. All the 'could have beens' and 'what ifs' could never bring them back. :(

16. Kapag niloko ka, huwag na huwag kang iiyak. Kapag iniwan ka, huwag mong habulin. Kapag sinaktan ka, huwag kang magmakaawa. Instead, be proud and say, 'Praise the Lord! Available na naman ako!'

17. I wish you the best of ber starting today. Bery healthy, bery happy, bery rich, bery well loved, bery kind, and most of all bery young looking always! Bery many blessings to you!

18. Ang taong bolero, masarap ka text. Ang taong tahimik, makulit sa text. Ang taong two timer, sweet sa text. Ang taong stick to one, matipid sa text. Ang taong pretty, eto, patext-text!

19. Kahit papaano, gusto ko din ng exposure! - singit.

20. Ano ang nagpasikat kay Erap? Wristband. Ano ang magpapayaman kay Abalos? Broadband. Ano ang magpapabagsak kay GMA? Husband!

21. Kapag mahal mo ang isang tao, ipapasok mo! Ipasagad mo! Huwag kang matakot masaktan. Dahil ang true love, mainit at masarap habang nakabaon sa puso't isipan! Hmm, ikaw ha?! Bad!

22. Let's congratulate Manny and Jinky Pacquiao for their baby girl. They'll name their baby after the combination of their names. Manny + Jinky = Manky. =)

23. Hey! Andito ako sa ospital ngayon! - nurse.

24. Sabi nila, love makes your heart beat fast, your body feel flushed with excitement, and your mind go around in circles. Naisip ko, love ba yun? Parang lasing lang eh.

25. Masarap magkaroon ng maraming kaibigan. May katawanan. May katripan. Enjoy ang buhay mo. Sarap mabuhay. Kaya friend, daming thank you ha?! Kasi, nag-eenjoy ako sa buhay ko dahil sa iyo!

26. I'm a person easily overwhelmed by the wonders this world can give. But I would leave all these just to laugh my heart out over cups of coffee on lazy days like this with someone like you! Good morning!

27. Naglalakad, nagtetext, nasagasaan, patay. Kumakain, nagtetext, nabilaukan, patay. Nagdadrive, nagtetext, nabangga, patay. May cellphone, walang nagtetext, nagpakamatay.

28. The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found. Sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes wisdom. You have to know what to do to make your marriage work. Love in marriage is a decision, not just a feeling.

29. Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet bowl. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.

30. Faith is the ability to not panic.

continue reading Text Messages 1-30...