Thursday, October 30, 2008

Text Messages 631-660

631. Words from Ally McBeal: 'If you wanna end up with the right person, you've got to make it happen. The best people are always taken. If you don't steal them, you won't have them.'

632. Year 2010: Mayaman ka na, may magarang kotse, malaking house. Ako? Ganito pa rin, cute, ma-appeal, crush ng bayan. Huwag ka nang umangal, mayaman ka na nga eh!

633. Ito ang chain message na siguradong ipapasa mo: 'Magkakaringworm sa pwet ang huling makakareceive nito.' Sori na lang sa mga walang load!

634. Kung ang taong gusto mo ay mayroon nang iba, tandaan lang ang 'Continental Drift Theory.' Kung ang pulo nga, naghihiwalay, tao pa kaya?! How inspiring! Mwahahaha!

635. Paano nga ba naman makakalabas ang usok kung ang chimineya ay barado ng dumi at niyebe, ipalinis ito ngayon din! - Ms. Minchin.

636. Success is: To laugh often and much. To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children. To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty. To find the best in others. To live the world a little better. To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. Good day!

637. “It is wiser not to expect, but to hope. For in expecting, we meet disappointments; whereas in hoping, we invite surprises.” Goodnight!

638. Mahal kong John, Kumusta? Hindi ko malilimutan nang naghiwalay tayo. It was all my fault. I was selfish. I'm really sorry for breaking your heart. Come back to me. Forgive me. Hindi na ako makakahanap pa ng katulad mo. You're the only one for me. Mahal na mahal kita. Love, Maria. P.S. Congrats pala sa pagkapanalo mo sa lotto.

639. Dear Ate Charo: Problema ko po ang asawa ko, maniac! Luto ako, sex kami. Plantsa ako, sex kami! Laba, nood tv, sex kami! Paalam na po, kasi, aah, ooh, ayan naa namaaan! =)

640. Smile. It makes a world of difference. Dance. Who knows when you won't be able to? Cry. Holding those emotions in is bad for you. Kiss. Kisses are one of the most wonderful things in the world. Laugh. What's the point in hiding happiness? Frown. Why not let him/her know you're unhappy? Apologize. You don't wanna lose friends. Hug. There's no better feeling being wrapped up close to someone you love. Live. Because life is everything.

641. Love should be stronger than pride. So when you love someone, tell them and never let go. Because love is a gift, not an obligation. Follow your heart and always love the person you really love.

642. It is better to have nobody than somebody who is half yours, half there or doesn't want to be there, or is there and then suddenly disappears.

643. To wake up each morning healthy and at peace is a gift from God more precious than gold. May all your mornings be filled with God's gifts. Good morning!

644. Thank you for stepping into my life. But if ever you step out, your footprints stay forever. Kung babalik ka naman, pakilampaso na lang ng sahig ha! Nakakapagod lang maglampaso, thanks!

645. People are amazing when they are nice, they are wonderful when they are true. But do you know that they are a blessing when they are like you?! Good morning!

646. Someone said to me, 'I love you.' I sneezed, then I replied, 'Sorry, I'm allergic to talkshits and lies.' :)

647. In a relationship, it's not difficult to use your brain over the heart. If you find yourself capable of getting involved with someone because you use your brain, it means one thing, you aren't in love with the person. Because when you love someone, it's almost impossible to control your heart and tell it to let the mind handle the relationship. And the same is also true that when you can't use your brain because the heart rules over, it means that you are definitely, positively in love. So good luck to both your brain and heart.

648. A couple at the wishing well, husband leans over, made a wish and throws coin. Wife made a wish, but leans too much, falls in and drowns. Husband: Hala, ang bilis naman! =)

649. It's ok to cry as hard and as long as you want to. Just make sure that when you stop crying, you won't cry for the same reason anymore.

650. Sa palengke. Madre1: Magkano ang talong? Tindera: P7 po ang apat na piraso. Madre2: Paano yan? Tatlo lang ang kailangan natin. Madre3: Bilhin na natin, tapos yung isa, iulam natin!

651. Kinds of perfume for women: teener - Cool Water. lady - Giorgio Armani. newly wed - Bulgari. married - Sweet Honesty. spinster - Green Cross. old lady - Albatross.

652. 8 rules to be happy: 1. never hate. 2. don't worry. 3. live simply. 4. expect a little. 5. give a lot. 6. always smile. 7. stay in love. 8. best of all, eat all you can!

653. Never ask why the heart is red, the sky is blue, the cloud is white cause it's like asking why of all people it's you I care about.

654. If there's any possible consolation in the tragedy of losing someone we love very much, it's the necessary hope that perhaps it's for the best.

655. We met each other by chance, become friends by choice, still friends by decision, and when we say friends forever, that's definitely a lifetime. Promise! Friends forever?

656. Lasing1: Dito na lang ako pare, bahay na namin ito. Lasing2: Anong inyo? Amin itong bahay! Lasing1: Amin ito! Pustahan tayo. (Kumatok) Babae: Hay naku! Lasing na naman itong mag-ama!

657. Chicken Soup for today: Emotional stress greatly affects our lives. It's always lethargic and everyone's vulnerable. Always have your emotions in constant check. Reconcile misunderstandings and clear ugly thoughts. Free your mind from cluttered emotions. Never leave space for doubtful feelings. A light heart is more efficient in work, love and to other things.

658. Some friends are worth to be thrown, some are good to be kept and some are to be treasured. I think you are the one who needs to be thrown! Hehe. In a treasure box to be kept forever. Good night!

659. Having a friend like you is like knowing myself better. You may find another me but I'll never look for another you. You know why? Because no matter what they do, they can never be you.

660. Ito, sure na malupit. Guy: Miss, ipinaglihi ka ba sa inodoro? Gal: Bakit? Guy: Kasi, ako, ipinaglihi sa tae. Nung nakita kita, hindi ko mapigilang mahulog!!!

continue reading Text Messages 631-660...

Monday, October 27, 2008

Text Messages 601-630

601. PAL: We are now preparing to land in San Francisco International Airport. Should you need any assistance, please don't hesitate to ask us. Hope you enjoyed your flight. Thank you. Paalala po sa mga Pilipinong pasahero, ang mga unan, kumot, plato at iba pang kagamitan sa eroplano ay hindi po kasama sa pasalubong ang mga ito. Maraming salamat po!

602. I'm not extremely good looking but I have a sense of humor. I'm not breathtakingly intelligent but I'm relatively witty. I'm not insanely rich but I'm fairly kind. I'm just a simple guy with a crazy elusive ambition of meeting your acquiantance. So, hi! =) - Dodong, nakikipagtextmate kay Inday.

603. Ngiti ka para mawala problema... ngiti ka kaibigan. Ngiti ka kahit kanino, ngiti lang nang ngiti. Isang paalala mula sa Philippine Mental Hospital.

604. Don't tie your heart to a person who has nothing to offer you. You may say you're in love, you might even say he/she is your soulmate. But is that enough to fill your need for love? Let go. It might hurt for a while, but when you get over it, you'll find it's for the better.

605. Teacher: Totoo bang hindi naninigarilyo, hindi umiinom, hindi nagsusugal at hindi nangtsitsiks ang papa mo? Student: Opo! Teacher: Wow! Anong sikreto nya? Student: Walang pera!

606. Translate in English: May baliw, gumahasa ng labandera at tumakas. NUT SCREWS WASHER and BOLTS.

607. No quote can tell you what's inside my heart, they just express what I feel, but never enough, so when I say 'I care for you' huwag ka maniwala, 'coz what I feel is more than what I say.

608. Prayer lifts our hearts above the battles of life and gives us a glimpse of God's power which spells victory and hope. God bless. Good morning.

609. Nag eyeball ang mag textmates: Girl: I’ll be in yellow. Boy: Ako, green na lang. Nagmeet sila sa coffee shop. Dumating ang PANGET na babaeng naka yellow pero walang lalaking naka green. Nilapitan ng babae ang isang lalaking naka red shirt. Girl: Excuse me, are you my textmate? Boy: Hindi ah! Naka green ba ako?

610. Those who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. Pucha! Inom lang ng inom! Pupulikatin din yang sorrow na yan! =)

611. GRO: Pogi, gusto mo ng ligaya? Pogi: Only if you can do it the way my wife does. GRO: Ako pa?! How does she make you happy ba? Pogi: Syempre, walang bayad!

612. Patient: Magkano ang magpaface-lift? Doctor: Complete treatment, P145000. Patient: Ang mahal! Ano ba ang pinakamurang treatment para magmukha akong bata? Doktor: Eto, tsupon, P20 lang.

613. When you know things are not meant for you, learn to let go. It doesn't mean you are weak but you are strong. Strong enough to fight the urge of wanting something you are not supposed to have.

614. The word 'Good night' doesn't really mean, 'Sige, tulog na ako!' But it is in fact one of the people's shy way of saying, 'Naalala kitang istorbohin before I sleep!' Good night!

615. Do what makes you happy. Life is not based on the money you earned and success you've achieved. It's all about being happy with who you are, who you're with, who you've got, who you love, and who makes your life worth living.

616. I've already told Santa what I want for Christmas. A friend who will stay forever. So, if a fat man comes around and tries to wrap you up, please cooperate. =) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

617. Brain stuffs. Husband: I heard that fish is a brain food. Wife: You better eat a whale. *** Student: I heard that fish is a brain food. Room mate: Yeah, I eat it all the time. Student: Well, there goes another theory. *** Husband: How long can a man live without brains? Wife: I don't know. How old are you? *** Father: Don't you think our son gets all his brains from me? Mother: Maybe, I still have all mine. *** Don: She's a bright girl. She has brains enough for two. Art: Then, she's just the girl for you.

618. When the time comes when everything seems hopeless, here's what you do: SHUT UP & STOP WHINING sheesh! You've got me. Remember?!

619. Don't focus on what you lost but what remains. Don't focus on the pain but how the pain shaped you. Don't focus on the failure but on the great lessons the failure taught you.

620. Hindi lahat ng kulot, salot. - Goldilocks.

621. There are 3 angels sent from heaven - 1st one to guide you in all your doings, 2nd to guard and save you from harm and 3rd angel is destined to text you. Ahem!

622. What is the similarity between skirt and sky? Answer: Sky covers the whole population and skirt covers the source of population. Hehehe.

623. KISS is purely organic and naturally sweet, has no artificial ingredients and is 100% wholesome...Here's one for you...MMWAAAH! Have a nice day!

624. Alam mo friend, mahal na mahal kita. To the point na kapag nakita kong dinapuan ka ng lamok sa mukha, tatagain ko yung lamok! I swear! Malakas ka sa akin eh!

625. It's wrong to hurt those who love you, but it's worse to love those who hurt you.

626. How come I? How come I? How come I? Di kita iiwan sa paglalakbay, dito sa mundong walang katiyakan. How come I? Hindi kita bibitawan sa paglalakbay sa mundo ng kawalan!

627. Donya Mary counsels Erap on her 102nd birthday: Joseph, anak, hindi mo natapos ang pag-aaral mo, pati pagkapresidente mo! Sana, matapos mo man lang jail term mo!

628. Buddhist monk buys hotdog in New York and gives a $100 bill. Monk: Where's my change? Vendor: Change must come from within.

629. Send this to 150 friends and nothing will happen. Promise, effective 'to, natry ko na, wala talagang nangyari! Good morning!

630. God gives us a loving spirit so we can be better persons; not just gifted with a mind that understands but with a heart that truly cares. Good morning!

continue reading Text Messages 601-630...

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Text Messages 571-600

571. Appreciate life itself even though it's not a bed of roses. Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you wish but the appreciation of what you have. Good evening!

572. Things between us might change years from now. They may not be too surprising. But just keep in your mind that I've been a friend to you once. So, till the end, I'll always be.

573. Minsan iniisip ko, kung pwede lang sanang huwag nang magmahal, para lang huwag na akong masaktan pa. Kaya lang, pwede ba yun? Eh makita lang kitang nakangiti eh handa na akong masaktang muli.

574. Nahihiya ako sa iyo, hindi na kita tinitext eh, busy kasi ako masyado. Ikaw? Bakit hindi mo ako tinitext? Hindi ka ba nahihiya??! (*_*)

575. When things seem too good to be true, it's because of one thing; it's about to break your heart.

576. Saying goodbye makes you realize how much you love, how much you will miss and how much loss you had... knowing that the person will never be yours at all.

577. God is indeed an answering God. Sometimes, you don't need to shout or cry out loud because He hears even the very silent prayer of a faithful heart.

578. Pag iniwan ka ng mahal mo huwag mo siyang sisihin. Kausapin mo siya ng harap-harapan, ngumiti ka sa kanya at sabihin mong…”ingat ka palagi ha?” “ baka mapatay kita” hehehe!

579. Gary Lising's word of wisdom: 'My marriage is made of trust and understanding. She doesn't trust me and I don't understand her!' Toink!

580. Job opportunity. For female only. 900 pesos per minute. Sa Alaska milk. Substitute sa baka.

581. Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they will stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can hardly understand you for doing so. - Comment ni Inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

582. Boy Guwapo + Girl Ganda = Perfect Couple. Boy Guwapo + Girl Panget = True Love. Boy Panget + Girl Ganda = Galing Diskarte. Boy Panget + Girl Panget = SUKOB!

583. To have a happy life, you gotta dance like no one's watching, dream like you'll live forever, live like you're gonna die tomorrow and love like it's never gonna hurt.

584. Encouraging words for today: Kung hindi ka na masaya sa buhay mo, bakit hindi mo subukan ang kabilang buhay? Toink!

585. If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.

586. Nanay: Anak, bili ka nga ng asin. Puchoi: Ayoko po, madilim na. Nanay: Huwag kang matakot, kasama mo naman si Jesus eh. Puchoi: Si Jesus na lang po ang utusan nyo. =)

587. All my life, I've accepted everything because I believe in this: 'Everything happens for a reason.' The hardest part is: 'Finding out what the reason is.'

588. When life gets stormy, remember to anchor deep. Pray and hold on, don't be surprised if someone comes across the water to give you a hand. Ako yun! Nasa yacht. You know, sosyal kasi... hehehe.

589. Essence of smell in life: Lotion for babies, cologne for the 20's, perfume for the 30's, efficacent oil for the 40's and 50's. Bawang and luya for the 60's. Beyond that, formalin na!

590. Walk with me when you feel your heart needs company. Take my hand when you feel all alone. Turn to me when you need someone to lean on coz I'm a friend you can always depend on.

591. In a relationship, you should be honest. If you can't be honest, just be careful! :) - James Yap.

592. Pedro: Ang tapang talaga ni Paeng! Biro mo, tumalon sa eroplano nang walang parachute! Leo: Ohh, totoo? Saan mo naman nabalitaan yan? Pedro: Dun sa burol nya!

593. Never love someone who would lie to you, who would never show his/her trust and would never ever let you feel you're loved.

594. May isang manok na ubod ng libog. Sa farm, lahat pinatos nya. Baboy, bibe, kambing, pati na rin baka. Kaya sabi ng mga hayop sa manok, 'Hay naku manok, mangisay ka sana sa sobrang libog mo!' Isang araw, nakita ng mga hayop ang manok na nakahandusay sa lupa at nangingisay. Hayop: Buti nga sa iyo! Mamatay ka sa libog! Manok: Mga ulol! Hintayin nyo ako! Pagkatapos ko dito sa langgam, yari kayo sa akin!

595. A kind word doesn't cost anything, it never hurts the tongue or lips, it can accomplish much and bring out good and beautiful images out of every person.

596. Wife stands in front of a mirror and tells husband, 'I'm ugly, my boobs are sagging, my ass is too fat. Give me a compliment.' Husband: 'You have a very good eyesight.'

597. Misis: Lagi na lang akong nag-aalala tuwing nag-aout of town ka. Mister: Bakit, umuuwi naman ako kaagad, ah? Misis: Yun na nga ang inaalala ko, kung umuwi ka, biglaan.

598. It's better to cry in a Rolls Royce than to be happy on a bicycle. - just an opinion. =)

599. A small boy asked another why his 80-year-old grandma was always reading the Bible. The reply: Because she's cramming for her final exam!

600. Making a decision takes time, don't rush!

continue reading Text Messages 571-600...

Friday, October 24, 2008

Text Messages 541-570

541. Bumibili: (pasigaw) pabili pong Safeguard!!! Tindera: Huwag kang sumigaw, hindi ako bingi! Ano bang Sim Card? Globe o Smart? =)

542. The best part of loving is not wishing that the person loves you as much as you do, but in the feeling that you love the person for more than you thought you could.

543. We used to think that life is a fairytale, full of magic, exciting, vivid. But that was a long time ago, now we know that there's more to life than just 'happily ever after.' We've learned that we get wiser each day, and no fairy can lead us to happy ending. We decide, we struggle, and somehow w move to understand, that we have the power to make each day better than yesterday.

544. Tao1: Isoli ko itong nabili kong DVD. Tao2: Anong problema? T1: Walang picture saka sound. Sayang, suspense thriller pa yata ito. T2: Anong title? T1: The Lens Cleaner!

545. One of the reasons why people get so sentimental is because memories are the only things that don't change when everything else does.

546. Anak: Inay, ano yung 10 commandments? Ina: Iyon ang 10 utos ng Diyos. Anak: Mas mataas po pala kayo sa Diyos. Ina: Bakit? Anak: Mas marami kang utos eh!

547. Life is a paradox. What you want, you don't get. What you get, you don't enjoy. What you enjoy is not permanent. What is permanent is boring. That's life, but they are meant to build the best in you. Good evening!

548. Mike Arroyo met Gary Kasparov. Mike: If the present situation in my country is like a chess game, what would you do? Gary: Sacrifice the queen, ride the horse, leave the castle, follow the bishop and resign!

549. It's not wrong to give it all when you love. It's not wrong to love a person so much. Because sometimes, the only wrong thing is the person you love.

550. Man1: Pare, bakit ba ang mga doktor, may takip sa mukha kapag nag-oopera? Man2: Pare, kaya sila nakatakip, para kapag namatay ang pasyente, hindi sila makikilala! :)

551. Hindi lahat ng bold star at bottomless, bastos! - Winnie the Pooh.

552. As I grow old, my realization about life becomes deeper, problems got bigger, situations become more complicated and I know tha you are just like me, sometimes, we wish we could go back to the time when the only man in our life was our dad, our only bestfriend was our mom, and any pain could be healed by just a band aid and chocolates.

553. Trials are not reason to give up, but a challenge to improve our lives. It is not an excuse to back-out, but an inspiration to move on and claim God’s promise.

554. Ironic truth: The one who is good in taking care of other people is the same person who needs someone to take care of them.

555. Sometimes when you cry, no one sees your tears. When you are happy, no one sees your smile. When you are worried, no one sees your pain. Pero try mong umutot, lahat, titingin sa iyo. Pandidilatan ka pa!

556. When people accuse us of lying, don't get too affected because we know we never lie, we just don't tell them everything.

557. In life, we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselves that we had the right decisions but the truth is we can't search for what's not there. Things happen because it's meant to happen. That's why we forgive people even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts. At the end of the day, the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions. Happy weekend!

558. Though we don't meet or talk often, I never forget that I have you in my life. Somewhere, somehow, I remember you. Still bear in mind, I'm always here, not so near but never that far.

559. Love is like an hourglass, when the heart fills up, the brain empties.

560. A bad person who slanders a good one is like a person who looks up and spits at heaven. His spit never reaches the sky; it falls back into his own face!

561. One day, the body asked the heart. The doctor cures me when I'm hurt. But who cures you when you're hurt? The heart answered, I have to cure myself. Maybe that is why everyone has their own way of healing their hearts. They drink, smoke, sing, get angry, laugh and cry. They pour their heart out to friends, go on trips, make themselves busy and love again. But you know what's the worst remedy people often do? They just ignore the pain and pretend not hurt at all.

562. Halalan official results!!! Pichay - nalanta! Sotto - nabulaga! Chavit - sumabit! Pacquiao - K.O.! Oreta - Danced out! Montano - Outshine! Goma - Flat! Mike - Na-tol-luyan! Garci - Hello, goodbye!

563. Ina: Anak, tawagan mo nga ang tatay mo sa cellphone. Pauwiin mo dito. (Pagkatapos tawagan) Anak: Inay, babae po ang sumagot! Ina: Lintik! Sinasabi ko na nga ba, may itinatago yang tatay mo eh! Anong sabi? Anak: You only have zero pesos in your account. Hindi ko na tinapos, inay, mukhang matapobre eh!

564. Read each word reversely. A suomaf rotcod dlot em taht ylno latnem stneitap evah eht tnelat ot daer SMS neve nehw sti nettirw ylesrever. Oh, nabasa mo?

565. There is no such thing as coincidence! People met for a special reason. But whatever it is, I'm so glad I have you in my life! Clueless? Oh come on! Let's just say that we are meant to be friends.

566. A man's wife lost interest in sex. Doctor gave him pills to give to his wife. He drops one in wife's coffee and takes one also. After 10 minutes: Wife: I need a man! Man: Me too!

567. Two children playing in a park begin to argue. One says, 'I hate you! I'm never going to play with you again!' For a few moments, they play separately, and they are back playing together and sharing toys. How do children manage to be so angry one minute and best of friends the next? The answer is simple - it is more important to them to be happy than to be right.

568. Set a place for me in your heart and not in your mind. For the mind easily forget but the heart remembers.

569. It's easy to fall for someone. How? You look at the person. Stop. Smile. Then tell yourself this: I may find a thousand others who laugh the same way, smile the same way and even talk the same way. But I'l never find someone who makes every heart beat worth every thump, rush and every release. If you have someone who makes you feel that way, go ahead, fall.

570. Do you know why I love silence so much? Because when it's quiet, when I'm alone just like now, that's the moment I realize, mabait pala ako! Hindi lang halata. :)

continue reading Text Messages 541-570...

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Text Messages 511-540

511. Sometimes, love makes a big scar in your heart, but don't let it stain your life, it only means, the bigger the scar you had, the better you've loved.

512. I never intended to be the most special person in your life, that's too much to ask. I just hope that one day, when you don't see my messages, you'll say, 'Nakakamiss naman si Kukote.'

513. Sabi nila, minsan, sa buhay natin, kailangan kang mamili kung yung taong mahal mo o mahal ka! Hello?! Hindi na uso yun ngayon, ang tanong, 'Yummy ba sya?' =)

514. We have two eyes and just one tongue, which means we need to look twice and talk once. We have two ears and just one mouth, so, we need to listen more than we talk. We have two hands and one stomach, so, we need to work twice as much as we eat. We have two brains, left and right, and one heart, so, we can think twice, but can love only one.

515. Thanks to those who hated me, you made me stronger. Thanks to those who loved me, you made my heart grow fonder. Thanks to those who might have envied me, you let my self esteem grow stronger. Thanks to those who cared, you made me feel important. Thanks to those who entered my life, you made me who I am today. Thanks to those who left, you reminded me that nothing lasts forever. Thanks to those who stayed, you showed me the true meaning of friendship.

516. Just imagine life without girls. The results... Telephones silent. Malls empty. Shoes and bag industries closed. All mobile companies in loss. No cosmetics. No flowers. No valentine's day. No jewelries. No perfumes. No travelling. Devastated economy. But all men go directly to heaven!

517. Sa bakery. Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake. Ale: Bah, sosyal ka! Namamalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake! Ito ang dalawang pandesal. Pulubi: Hindi po pwede, kasi, birthday ko ngayon!

518. As I lay down the cards in the game of solitaire. I see the king and queen of hearts side by side, I remember you and me and how you left me for the jack of hearts.

519. News: GMA kidnapped by terrorists. $5 million ransom demand or she'll be set on fire. All donations appreciated... so far, 500,000 liters of gasoline received! Hahaha!

520. The worst curse you can inflict on anyone: May you have Gloria's height, may you have Ramos' fidelity, may you have Gringo's loyalty, may you have Erap's wisdom, and may you have Cory Aquino's daughter! Toink!

521. 'All the bests are taken.' - Isang napakalaking kahibangan! Dahil ako ay single! Hahaha! Good morning!

522. Amo: O, bakit nakahubad ka? Inday: Sabi po sa cookbook, 'Serve without dressing.'

523. Each of us has a star that shines with the rest, sometimes we twinkle alone, but when you feel you're about to lose your own spark, I'm here to share my glow.

524. Hindi lahat ng malakas, super hero! - putok.

525. Life ko? Ok lang! Simple kahit komplikado. Payapa kahit magulo. Madali kahit mahirap. Galing noh? Kaya mahal ko ang life ko eh! Malinaw kahit malabo. Dagdagan pa ng tulad mo na mabait pero may toyo!

526. Scariest thing about having a teddy bear is when you hug it tight and it suddenly hugs you back. Waaahhh… Goodnight!!!

527. Ask me to love another, I will. Ask me to shout louder, I will. Ask me to be low and alone, I will but ask me to let you go, I won't.

528. There was a bad guy who fall in love to a good girl. The guy really love the girl so much that he will do things just to make the girl happy. The girl told the guy to stop all his rumble and the guy command it. One day, the girl heard the news about the rumble, and she say the guy bloody and dying, the girl cried but the guy smile and said, Hindi ako lumaban, kasi, baka magalit ka.

529. Giving is the secret of a healthy life. Not necessarily money, but whatever a person has - encouragement, sympathy and understanding. – John D. Rockfeller, Jr.

530. Bagay sa iyong maging amo. Inalila mo kasi ang puso ko. Nakanang romantic!

531. I think that sometimes we love a person so much that we have to be numb to it; because if we actually felt how much we really love, then it would kill us.

532. Time is like a river, you can't step on the same water twice because the flow that has passed will never pass you again. Cherish every moment of your life. Stay happy!

533. Jun: Sir, si Mike, buong araw na walang ginawa. Boss: Talaga? Paano mo nalaman? Jun: Sir, maghapon ko syang pinagmasdan!

534. Kissing in the lips is great, but be sure you never close your eyes and not too long because you'll encounter a strange feeling called 'Lee Bog!'

535. Women are like the police. They can have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession.

536. Bread cast on water comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or your loved ones at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again, at least, you have made the world a better place. Isn't that what's life is all about?

537. Da Vinci... Da Vinci Winchi spider went up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out!

538. There are three great things in this world. The first thing is for you to love someone. The second thing is for someone to love you back and the third greatest thing is for the first and second thing to happen at the same time.

539. 'Ako, Edward, pinakasalan kita dahil mahal kita, pero pati ba naman mga katulong, dapat kong pakisamahan?' - Sharon Cuneta, Madrasta.

540. If the pressures in life seems like crushing you down, think of a crushed grape that produces the best wine. The pressures you have in life only brings out the best in you.

continue reading Text Messages 511-540...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Text Messages 481-510

481. One of the greatest pleasures in life is doing the things that others say you cannot do.

482. Heartthrob ba ako? If yes, huwag kang magreply. If no, itext mo sa akin ang tagalog ng toothpaste, cake, roller coaster at ng remote control.

483. Every guy thinks catching the girl he loves is an amazing accomplishment. Actually, catching the girl is the easy part. Keeping her is the real accomplishment. Good evening!

484. Kapag ako patay na, punta ka sa burol ko ha? Alam ko, lalapit ka sa kabaong ko para mang-asar at sabihing... 'Walanghiya ka kukote! Minsan ka na lang magpainom, bakit kape pa?' Hehehe.

485. It's just something that happens as we age up. We realize it's not important to have many friends, what's important is to have real ones.

486. If people would ask me who I want to be with, I would simply say someone who's strong but not strong enough to let go of me.

487. Atty: Gaano katagal ka nirape ng nasasakdal? Girl: 5 hours po! Atty: 5 hours ka ginahasa?! Girl: Kasama na po yung foreplay dun, tapos nagyosi pa kami para may bonding.

488. Kung ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon na ito, kanino ka mas higit na hahanga? Sa taong iniwan ang lahat para sa minamahal nya, o sa pusang naghaharlem? =)

489. Kulas: Siopao nga, yung babae. Waitress: Babae? Kulas: Oo, yung may papel na sapin, parang napkin. Waitress: Ah! Lalake ang nandito. Kulas: Lalake? Waitress: May itlog po!

490. Wife1: Ang asawa ko ang the best! Hindi babaero, hindi naninigarilyo, hindi umiinom at nasa bahay lang lagi. Wife2: Parang santo pala siya! Wife1: Nope! Paralyzed ang tarantado!

491. A man was setting up his new e-mail address in his computer with his wife sitting beside him. Feeling macho and horny, he keyed in 'PENIS' as his e-mail password. His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied, 'Password not long enough!'

492. An inspiring quote from an inspiring person like me… “baliw man ako sa iyong paningin, subukan mo tumingin sa akin at mababaliw ka rin!” Nyahahaha!!!

493. I did try hiding my true feelings, accepting what you really want me. I thought it will be easy. For you, I'll just try harder to accept and face the reality that you will learn and appreciate my love. It will only happen in my dreams but if that time comes, I hope not to be awaken. I rather sleep a lifetime just to prove how much I love you.

494. Iiyak ka ba kapag namatay ako? Papatak ba ang luha mo dahil wala na ako. Mamimiss mo kaya ang mga kakulitan ko? O kasabay ng libing ko, pasimple ka lang magtatago ng tinapay at Zest-O?!

495. Noon, ang tawag sa taong walang hiya, Makapal! Tapos, naging Garapal! Ngayon, iba na ang tawag! Macapagal!

496. Christmas may be a day of feasting, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved. I love you my friend and enjoy the season! =)

497. I pray that happiness be at your door. May it knock early and leave the gift of excellent health, peace of mind and good fortune. Good evening!

498. Distance is never a reason to forget a friend. Do you know why? Kasi, distance is always equal to 'velocity' x 'time'. Wala namang 'forget' sa equation, di ba? =)

499. Only in this life you can do good. What awaits you in the next life is not the opportunity to do better but the reward for having done best.

500. When you're hurt, it's ok to flirt, to date, to hate, to mingle with other people, to drink, to cry, to laugh out loud, to scream, and to dance wild. Know why? Because when you're hurt, you don't owe anybody an explanation on how you choose to repair what that person broke. Live your life as you wish till you're whole again!

501. Words of wisdom: Marriage is a relationship between two people in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

502. 1. Trulalu 2. Eklavu 3. Eklavu 4. Trulalu 5. Trulalu 6. Eklavu 7. Trulalu 8. Trulalu 9. Eklavu 10. Trulalu - isa sa mga batang bading nagsasagot ng True or False sa midterm exam nila. Cuteness noh?

503. A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she's getting. Bwahahaha!

504. BF: Sinapak ko yung nakasalubong ko, sabihin ba naman na mukha akong magsasaka kapag katabi kita? GF: Huwag ka na magalit, marangal naman ang magsasaka. Bakit ba nya yun sinabi? BF: Kasi, mukha ka raw kalabaw! GF: Asan ba yun at papatayin ko!!!

505. Always stretch your heart and expand your love, so that it touches not only those who you give it to but also to those who need it so much. Gandang umaga!

506. At times when you're lonely and have no one to talk to, put your hands together and sing... 'Chong koyla, mekurikong sila, tayo wala, hehehe, tayo wala...' Ayos ba?

507. Sigaw ng nirerape na babae, 'Tulong, tulong!' Rapist: Huwag ka nang humingi ng tulong, kaya ko itong mag-isa!

508. Clever is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is when you know which half to believe.

509. When I speak about love – it is really love. If you don’t believe it, it’s not my problem anymore. – Jesse Castle Knott

510. Teacher: Pedro, ano sa tagalog ang foot? Pedro: Sorry ma'am, hindi ko po alam. Teacher: Lintek na bata ka, ang kalabaw, may apat nito, ako, may dalawa nito. Pedro: Ah! Dede?!

continue reading Text Messages 481-510...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Text Messages 451-480

451. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and on some days you are the statue.

452. Think positive! Japanese archaeologist digging 100 meters down found copper wire, says, 'Very good, our great ancestors of 1000 years already had telephone!' Americans dug 200 meters and found optical cable, says, 'My God! This means our great forefathers already had broadband 2000 years ago!' Pinoy digs 500 meters and found nothing, says, 'Ang lupit ng mga ninuno natin! Wireless!'

453. I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer. - Jim Carrey.

454. Sunrise makes a morning beautiful but the word of God strengthens and makes our life more meaningful. Good morning!

455. A priest lost his parrot, asked during mass. Anyone got a bird? All men stood up. I mean, anyone seen a bird? All women stood up. I mean, anyone seen my bird? All nuns stood up!

456. Kung kuntento ka na sa taong mahal mo, maaayos mo itong letters na ito in 3 words. 'EYEMULTOEMPOC' Kapag hindi mo nasagot, means, hindi ka marunong magmahal. Buuin mo, wait ko ha! Note: Answer is YOU COMPLETE ME.

457. Sign over a bar... 'If you're drinking to forget, please pay in advance.'

458. Every sunset gives us one day less to live, but every sunrise gives us one day more to hope. Let us hope for the best today and always. Have a blessed day!

459. At muling nagbabalik ang inyong kaibigan na nambubulabog tuwing may load. Kumusta na kayo mga kapuso ko? Ito nga pala ang texter na kahit walang pera, mukha namang artista. Good morning!

460. Just for today, decide to be happy, to live with what is yours. If you can't have what you want, maybe you can like what you have. Just for today, decide to be kind. Be cheerful. Be agreeable. Be understanding. Be your best. Dress your best. Talk softly. Look for the bright side of things. Praise people instead of criticizing them. Just for today. Try it. After all, it's just for a day. Who knows you might like it and do it again tomorrow.

461. There are times we treat life like a mysterious door. It doesn't open no matter how hard we push it! We never notice that a huge sign is posted there that reads, PULL.

462. I've learned that when you plan to get even with someone, you're only letting that person continue to hurt you. I've learned that ignoring the facts do not change the facts. I've learned that the easiest way to grow as a person is to surround yourself with people smarter than you are. I've learned that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. And I've learned that life is tough, but you can be tougher!

463. Grabe! Biruin mo, 15000 pesos daw, hot oil lang! 150000 pesos ang rebonding! Sobra naman yang David's Salon na yan! - Rapunzel.

464. Good morning! Simpleng salita, simpleng bati, pero para sa akin, malalim dahil sa simpleng salitang yun, nasabi kong naalala kita sa aking paggising.

465. Ilusyunada! Kahit kailan, hindi yan mangyayari dahil pangit ka. Panget, panget, panget! Panget ka! - Vangie Labalan, Bakekang.

466. Embrace a pillow of happy thoughts to create wonderful dreams, a blanket of care to keep you warm all night and a prayer to protect you till the dawn comes. Good night!

467. Praying for you is my way of saying, 'You are dear to me.' I ask God to pour what's best for you and what will make you happy, today and everyday. Good morning!

468. Bakit ang tao, minsan nalilito? Minsan naliligaw? Saan ba sya dapat pumunta? Sa taong mahal nya, o sa taong mahal sya? Ikaw? Saan ka pupunta? Ako, sa kwarto. Matutulog na. Good night!

469. Some learnings in life: 1. Be kind to yourself. 2. Looking good is feeling good. 3. You are out not to please everybody. 4. Expect little, but do your best and dream big. 5. Smile a lot! It's healthy. 6. Laugh your heart out. Be silly once in a while. 7. Live light and keep it simple. 8. Failure is a good starting point. 9. You are blessed. Don't forget to say thanks. 10. Have faith. God answers our prayers.

470. Happiness is somewhere between too little and too much. May you have just enough wealth to meet your needs, enough poverty to learn to work hard, enough blessings to know that God loves you, enough problems so you don't forget Him. Enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough hope to keep you happy, and enough sorrow to keep you human. =)

471. Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!! - Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal. =)

472. A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. 'Well,' he replied, 'the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.' :)

473. If you could be a part of my body, I'll let you be my heart! For I want you to be the one who beats and to be the center of all my emotions and be the last one to stop when im gone.

474. Love means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you in anyway. It means teasing each other and laughing at jokes nobody but only the two of you understands. It means feeling safe enough to talk about anything and having the patience to work out disagreements. It means counting on someone who sympathizes when you had a bad day, worries about you when you're gone too long and always welcomes you with open arms no matter what.

475. Definition of wife: Someone who'll stand by you through all the troubles which you wouldn't have had if you had stayed single.

476. At the moment you don't think much of it, we just don't recognize the most significant moment of our lives. Back then, you're gonna think there'll be other days, never realizing that was the only day.

477. Lord, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing, help me remember that Your love is always greater than my disappointments and Your plans for my life is always better than my dreams.

478. It is important to remember that you can never regain something you left in the past. Change your focus to the present and deal with the state of things as they are, instead of clinging to some memory of what you once had. Memories are nice, but that's all they are.

479. Nagbubungkal ng lupa si Juan para magtanim. Akala ni Pedro, niloloko sya dahil wala namang itinatanim. Pedro: Juan, tanga ka! Wala ka namang itinatanim ah! Juan: Mas tanga ka! Seedless ito!

480. God needs to know what you want not because He easily forgets. It's because he loves to feel the sweetness of your prayer. Good evening. God bless.

continue reading Text Messages 451-480...

Monday, October 20, 2008

Text Messages 421-450

421. The best feeling in the world comes when you start feeling good again after feeling awful for a long time.

422. What do you call a naked, sexy, beautiful woman on the arm of an ugly poor man? Eh, di tatoo!

423. Love is unfair, kapag mahal mo, ayaw sayo. Yung ayaw mo, mahal ka. Pero mas unfair sa part ng okra. Kawawa naman sya, kasi di sya kasama sa 'Bahay Kubo.' Gulay din naman sya, di ba?

424. If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.

425. Minsan, nag-aaral akong maggitara. Masakit sa kamay, mahirap pag-aralan. Dun ko lang naisip na ang gitara, parang love. Kailangan munang masaktan para may matutunan.

426. Being in love is like jumping off a building, in the beginning you don't care about anything and just enjoying the ride, it is the sudden stopping that hurts.

427. Even if you have special someone, even if you have other circle of friends, yet, still kulang pa rin di ba? Shocks! Syempre naman. Iba pa rin kapag may 'kukote' sa buhay mo.

428. From the moment I saw you, I wanted to be inside you, I love your smell, the way your tongue feels, the way you tighten and loosen, mmmmmmm... new shoes!!!

429. Good friends are those who care without hesitation, who remembers without limitation, and who remains the same even text lang ang communication.

430. If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it.

431. BF: Mag-empake ka mahal! GF: Bakit? BF: Pupunta tayong home for the aged. Importante lang kasi. I wanna grow old with you. Naman! Hahaha!

432. Good morning! Don't forget to carry God's word in your heart before you start your busy day and don't forget to smile. ;)

433. Life never seems to be the way we want it, but we should live it the best way we can. There's no perfect life, but we can fill it with perfect moments.

434. A lizard fell on a table. Genius: Oh! reptila scincidae; Kikay: Eew, lizard!; Astig: Shit, butiki!; Mataray: Shucks, butiks!; Mayaman: Yuck! La coste!; Mahirap: Pare, ulam!

435. Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

436. Chocolate is said to contain phenylethylamine, the same chemical your brain produces when you fall in love. Magchocolate na lang tayo, hindi pa masakit sa dibdib!

437. Ang hirap ng may iniiwasan, nakikita ko pa lang sya, gusto ko nang makalayo. Sa kakaiwas ko, lalong bumibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Lokong aso yun, pinakaba ako!

438. I wonder why just when i learned to wait, it was when you never came. I wonder just when I learned to laugh, you made me cry. And just when I've learned to love you so much, it was when you walk away.

439. Pari: Sister, ikaw ba ang nasa CR? Kunin ko lang ang toothbrush ko! Sister: Sandali, nakapanty lang ako! Pari: Ok, antay ako. Sister: Pasok na, wala na akon panty! Hihihi!

440. If all the science in the world could explain everything, could Physics explain why we fall in love with someone without being affected by gravity? And why can't Logic help us to make things right when we are in love? Would Chemistry give us the chemical elements of love and its formula? Or could Anatomy and Physiology locate the scars in our heart?

441. Teenager: Lola, pupunta lang kami sa tipar. Lola: Anong tipar? Teenager: Party! Lola: Puro salitang kalye ang alam nyo! Mga P.S. kayo! Teenager: Anong P.S. lola? Lola: Pakin Shet! =)

442. If your heart gets broken, it's not a sin to cry, it's not a crime to mourn, but it is not right to ruin your own life because in love, you should know when to move on if there's no reason to hold on.

443. They told me I'm crazy I dreamt the sun was radiating blue but the doctors cleared me it was just a case of too much missing you.

444. With confidence, you can reach truly amazing heights. Without confidence, even the simplest accomplishments are beyond your grasp. Keep reaching for the star!

445. Sa buhay, lahat ng first ay masarap. First love, first kiss, first date, first... Hmmm, basta lahat ng first, kaya nga I want to be the first one to greet you. Merry Christmas! Hehehe.

446. Someone asked me, why do I smile everytime I see your name in my inbox? I just said, kasi, yun taong ito sa inbox ko ay isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit naka Smart ako!

447. Kung pangarap mong mahalin ka ng isang taong mamahalin ka ng tunay at hindi ka lolokohin, itext mo si Prospero Pichay! Pangarap nyang tuparin yang pangarap mo!

448. They say nothing in the world is perfect. But I know one exception, the joining of our two hearts.

449. Once a book of friendship was opened, it should never be closed again. A living book meant to be read and enjoyed forever. I hope our book of friendship never be closed!

450. Bakit kapag hindi nyo na alam ang gagawin nyo, laging ako na lang ang bahala? - Batman (sige na nga, with Robin minsan)

continue reading Text Messages 421-450...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Text Messages 391-420

391. Friendship is always a promise kept in the heart so when everything is unclear, just remember three things: I'm here, still here, with or without beer. :)

392. What if you need a friend and there are hundred steps between us? You can take the first step to get near me and I will take all 99 steps to be there for you.

393. When you find love, treasure it, take care of it. Be true to it. Make good use of it. Because love comes unseen. You can only see it when it's gone.

394. May sasabihin ako. Kaya lang, kadiri eh. Gusto mong malaman? O sige, basta huwag mong ipasa sa iba, kasi nga, nakakahiya talaga. Cute ka! O, di ba, yuck?!

395. You never truly love a person unless the mere thought of you hurting your loved one is enough to break you own heart.

396. Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire. True friendship stands the test of time, distance and absence, making it grow stronger. Difficult times only mean that friendship's roots will grow deeper. Good morning! Rise and shine! God bless and take care!

397. GMA: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3 in 1 coffee mo at kanina ka pa silip nang silip dyan? Erap: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na 'Sugarfree.' GMA: Bobo! Banda yun!

398. Have you seen a fish trying to get out of the aquarium? When out, it realized it does not belong to the floor but in the water. We also try to go outside God's will thinking we'll be happier but instead we just find ourselves empty.

399. Tanggap ko na di lahat ng gusto ko nakukuha ko. Pero may isang bagay na proud ako. Hindi rin pala lahat ng nagkakagusto sa akin nakukuha ako! Yabang!! Hahaha!

400. 3 stages of life: Teens - You have all the time and energy but no money. Workers - You have the money and energy but no time. Oldies - You have all the time and money but no more energy. Enjoy Life!

401. Alam mo ba kung bakit sa tingin ko, hulog ka ng langit? Kasi, bawal ka roon! Hehehe =)

402. Man1: Mister, saan ho ba ang CR dito? Kasi, jingle na jingle na ako. Man2: Pinoy ka ba? Man1: Oho! Man2: Ayun, sa pader!

403. Naguguluhan ako. Di ba, yung Victory Liner, Pascual Liner, Alfonso Liner at G Liner, mga bus yun? Yung Panty Liner, bus din ba yun? Saan naman ang byahe nila?

404. In a gay beauty contest, question and answer portion. Juror: Here's your question, bukod sa mukha mo, ano pang problema mong halimaw ka? :)

405. In life, you can't predict what will happen in the future. I met you, you met me. Wala na! Wala na tayong future! Hehehe!

406. You told me you miss me, but you don't. You told me you care for me but you don't. You told me I'm special but I'm not. Then you told me the truth that you don't love me, I smiled and said, 'I know.'

407. You can never teach a guy to love you the way you want to be loved. You have to wait for him to do it in his own way, in his own time. That's the saddest part of being a girl. But you can never teach a girl to love the guy back the way she did before if she already grew tired and fed up understanding and waiting to be appreciated and loved the way she deserves to be loved. That's the saddest part of being an insensitive man. =(

408. Until one feels the spirit of Christmas, there is no Christmas. All else is outward display - so much tinsel and decorations. For it isn't the holly, it isn't the snow. It isn't the tree, not the firelight's glow. It's the warmth that comes to the hearts of men when the Christmas spirit returns again. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

409. Sometimes my mind asks, Why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Why I text you? Then my heart answered. Mental patient needs more care. =)

410. Boom talong-talong. Boom talong-talong. Kamatis, kamatis, bagoong! Hehehe! Kinanta mo ano?? Hahaha!

411. Watch out for it!

412. A poem for all ex: So much for love, so much for you, if you think I'm running after you, f*ck you! If you think I'm rapidly hit, bulls#!t! A martyr's life is not my role, after what you have done, a$$hole! So, if you want another lover, go ahead you mother f*cker! *Applause! Bow!*

413. Boy: Hayop ka! Hirap na hirap akong nagtatrabaho sa sakahan mo pero sahod ko, hindi tumaas! Kung mamatay ako, sinong magpapakain sa pamilya ko, ikaw? Amo: Inglisin mo para taasan ko sahod mo! Boy: Animal you! Poor poor me to job in your farm but my salary did not climb! If I die, who will eat my family, you?

414. Madre: Father, ginaw na ginaw ako. Pari: Ako rin sister! Gusto mo bang gawin natin ang ginagawa ng mag-asawa? Madre: Oo father! Pari: Sige, ipagtimpla mo ako ng kape!

415. Be happy when God answers your prayer. But be more thankful when God makes you the answer to someone else's. 'Ikaw yun for me!'

416. You've got to wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is what keeps us steady, standing, still, the expected is just the beginning. The unexpected is what changes our lives.

417. Ano ang difference ng girlfriend at asawa? Ang girlfriend ay nililigawan, ang asawa ay inililigaw!

418. The leaves of trees just keep falling. Lesson? You can't always keep someone to yourself forever. Sometimes, you have to let go. Yet, you have to remain standing, like trees do.

419. I'm praying that our friendship will never come to an end. I'm wishing that it will last until you can see an apple in an orange tree on the 30th day of february. =) Nangiti ka noh?

420. Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe. Have faith! God bless.

continue reading Text Messages 391-420...

Friday, October 17, 2008

Text Messages 361-390

361. Teacher: What's 34 + 25 books? Juan: 59 po. Teacher: Good. 18 + 29 + 30 books? Juan: 77 po. Teacher: Very good! Now, what is 950 + 136 + 672 + 490 + 854 books? Juan: Library ma'am! Library!!!

362. When the time comes I can't smile anymore, don't worry about me, I know what to do. I'll just stare at one corner and think of you. No one else could make me happy like the way you do.

363. No one in this world can dictate to you where you can be happy, if you know where and what it is, go for it. Just remember: Happiness is not a destiny, it's a choice.

364. Sexy: Those are all my sins father. I hope God will forgive me. Priest: He does, my child. Pero ikwento mo nga ulit yung tungkol sa blow job at 69! Dali!

365. Inday: Huhu! Ate, si Kuya po, hinalikan ako kahapon! Misis: (bwisit) Hmp! O, ngayon?! Inday: Ngayon po? Ay, hindi pa po. Wala pa ngayon.

366. Kapag inagaw ang taong mahal mo, huwag ka papaapekto. Stand straight, sabay sigaw ng 'Ang akin, akin lang, ang sa iyo, akin pa rin, ang hindi ako, mapapasaakin!'

367. Sa lahat ng numero, 7 ang pinaka-ayoko!!! - ABS-CBN.

368. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. Know a good thing when you see it, and don't let it slip away. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just said it would be worth it.

369. Yung isang tao dyan, hindi man lang nagpaparamdam, di mo alam kung busy o baka galit sayo. Isip ka ng isip, nag-aalala ka na, pero parang wla lng sa kanya. Di pa yan makokonsensya. Kahit miscol lang po!!

370. Ano ba ang pagmamahal? Yun bang pinaiyak ka na, pinatawad mo pa? Yun bang binabalewala ka na, hinahanap mo pa? Yun bang nagmamahal na ng iba, minamahal mo pa? O yun bang kinalimutan ka na, umaasa ka pa?

371. Sometimes, we get too possesive with something or someone we don't even own. It's a side effect of loving too much and receiving too little. Sad but true, huh?!

372. What sexual position will produce a gorgeous baby? Ask my parents!

373. Life is like a road that we should pass thru till its very end. But if one day, you feel you're tired walking, I will comfort you in my arms sabay sabi, 'May jeep naman kasi, bakit nilakad mo?'

374. What if a bird fell in love with a fish? Where would they live? Who keeps the fins and who loses the wings? It's an irony but that's how cruel yet poetic love can be.

375. Hey! Nakita ko si GMA, matangkad naman pala siya! - Mahal.

376. A young boy was f*cking the dog when his mom entered the room. Both stared at each other and not a word was said. Then the boy said: Kaysa magdrugs ako?! :)

377. Each of us represents a star in the sky; sometimes, we shine with the rest, sometimes we twinkle alone, and sometimes we fall and make someone's dreams come true.

378. Hindi kita masisisi kung nakalimutan mo na ako, kasi, alam ko, hindi na ako mahalaga sa iyo. Nakakatawa no? Kasi hanggang ngayon, ito ako, umaasa na sana, mabawi kita dyan sa zoo, ikaw kasi eh, nangangagat ka. Huwag ganun!

379. Anak: Itay, tinatanong ako sa school! Ano daw ang profession nyo? Tatay: Sabihin mo, cardiologist. Anak: Anong cardiologist, tay? Tatay: Yung tagakabit ng radio sa car! Ahu! Ahu!

380. It goes in dry, it comes out wet. The longer it's in, the stronger it gets. We can have it in bed, just you and me. It's not what you think, it's a cup of tea!

381. A girl was on the way to the dorm. She's the only remaining passenger on the jeep. She had taken this route many times before, so she was surprised when the driver suddenly changed his course. Alarmed, she told the driver she's off to the dorm. After few minutes, they returned to the original route and the driver dropped her off the dorm, but before letting her, he gave her few words of advice. 'Ineng, pag uwi mo, hubarin mo agad yung damit mo at kung pwede, sunugin mo agad. Iniba ko yung ruta para makaiwas sa disgrasya. Kanina kasi, pagtingin ko sa salamin, wala kang ulo!' Happy Halloween!

382. Time, I've been passing time watching trains go by... - Guard sa LRT. Hahaha!

383. Pedro: May ka-eyeball ako mamaya, ano kaya ang itsura nya? Kasi, sabi nya, may kamukha syang celebrity, 'Sh' ang simula ng name. Juan: Jackpot ka, Pedro! Baka Sharon or Sheryl yan! Matapos ang eyeball, umuwi si Pedro. Juan: Kumusta ang eyeball mo? Bakit ka malungkot? Pedro: Shrek!

384. What is the secret of success? 'Right Decisions' How do you make right decisions? 'Experience' How do you get experience? 'Wrong Decisions' =)

385. Begin your day with a short prayer. 'Lord, walk with me today, I have no idea what lies before me. Be my strength to make the most of in and use it to Your glory.' Good morning!

386. Bawat kabataan, may karapatan. Karapatang gumala, umuwi anytime, makipagdate sa dyowa. Magalit man ang parents mo, sabihin mo, 'Sa bahay na ito, ako ang batas!' Sabay takbo!

387. Happy lunch time! Simpleng salita, simpleng bati, pero para sa akin, malalim dahil sa simpleng salitang yun, nasabi kong naalala kita bago ako kumain. =)

388. I was once asked by a curious 4 year old boy. A question that made my jaw drop and leave me puzzled till this time. The boy said, 'Ano po ang animal sound ng giraffe?'

389. Mommy centipede: Hoy makupad! Kanina pa kita inuutusang bumili ng suka, hindi ka pa rin nakakaalis?! Baby centipede: Haller, nay! Nagtsitsinelas pa kaya ako! Excited?!

390. Sa isang museum... Lalake: Ito bang pangit na ito ang tinatawag ninyong 'art?' Ang pangit! Nakakasuka! Painting ba ito? Guide: Hindi po sir. Salamin yan!

continue reading Text Messages 361-390...

Text Messages 331-360

331. Coffee has evolved all these years with cream, iced coffee, coffee with chocolate chip cookies. But no matter how people try to innovate coffee varieties, it still doesn't lose its distinct aroma. Just like us. No matter how we clothe ourselves with different personalities, still our character remains. People may destroy your image, stain your personality but they can't take away your character. Live. Exist. Let your character diffuse its distinct aroma. ;)

332. Be strong, remember not everything has a happy ending and ending doesn’t mean stop. It’s just a way of telling us that there is a new beginning ahead of us. You should always be ready for the unpredictable. Expect the unexpected. It’s easy to fall but hard to get up. But once you are up and back on track, you will be a better person. That’s the way of life. You don’t just live it, you learn from it. Good day!

333. Ang pag-ibig, kahit masakit, masaya rin. Kiss dito, yakap doon. I love you dito, I miss you doon. Pero kapag nakahanap ng iba at iniwanan ka na, magiging Emperador dito, Redhorse doon! Matador dito, San Mig doon! Punyeta dito, tangna doon! Masaya, di ba? Sa huli, para kang tanga na iiyak dito, tapos, suka doon!

334. As the sky breaks into a beautiful sunrise, may God open the heavens to shower you lots of love and happiness and make your day a truly meaningful one. Have a nice day!

335. Can you beat this logic? A man and his wife were getting divorce at a local court. The mother wants the custody of their children, but the father also wants the same. The mother said to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain the custody of them. After a long moment of silence, the man rose from the chair and said, 'Judge, if I put a dollar into a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belongs to me or to the machine?'

336. If you are so much focused with what's left behind, you might not be able to see what lies ahead. - Chef Gusteau, Ratatouille.

337. Hindi lahat ng bumabagsak, nagsusummer! - Erik Morales.

338. Why do we fall in love for someone who isn't really for us? Should we blame ourselves for falling with the wrong one? Or should we blame the one we fell in love with because he made us feel that he is the right one? =)

339. Malalaman mo lang ang halaga ng isang bagay kapag... may tag price! :)

340. Today is international day for people with special needs. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend, just as I've done. I don't care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals, or occasionally bang your head on a wall. You hang in there, sunshine, you're special! =)

341. Dumating ako sa buhay mo, hindi ko alam kung napasaya kita, hindi ko alam kung nakadagdag ba ako ng problema sa iyo. Basta ako, Happy, kasi, sa buhay ko, nakilala ko ang gaya mo.

342. Whenever I make your phone beep, I know that at one part you've uttered 'Ikaw lang pala.' and I couldn't blame you for that. But at anytime, I just want you to know that this 'lang' cares for you so much.

343. What should really count? Is it the time you find yourself smiling thinking of that person, giggling about the moments you've had with him/her? Or the time you found yourself crying because someone makes you so happy, it melts your heart? It's just simple... be with someone who knows what they have when they have you.

344. If one day nakita mo ang isang girl na pini-flirt ang boyfriend mo, be cool, puntahan mo sya, then say, 'Tsaka mo na i-flirt ang boyfriend ko, kapag maganda ka na!'

345. What would confuse a mentally challenged person? Answer: A pineapple. Confused? I know you would be. Hehehe.

346. Curfew: Hanggang 10pm lang dapat sa daan. Ang mahuhuli, babarilin. Officer: 9:45 pa lang, bakit mo sya binaril? Sundalo: Alam ko po ang bahay nya, hindi sya aabot. :)

347. Hindi ako magsosorry dahil sinabi ng press! Hindi ako magsosorry dahil sinabi ng career. At hindi ako magsosorry dahil sinabi ng panahon! It will come in and it has to be real! - Gretchen Baretto. Taray noh? Toink!

348. Tumatakbo ang isang bata dahil malelate na sya sa school. Nagdasal sya, 'Diyos ko, tulungan nyo po akong huwag malate.' Sa kanyang pagmamadali, nadapa sya! 'Diyos ko naman, huwag nyo naman akong kaladkarin!'

349. Imagine life without me. (long spaces) See?! Hahanapin mo ako. Don't worry, I'll never leave you. I'm always here for you.

350. And long after we're gone, love remains burnt into our memories. We all search for love, but some of us, after we found it, wish we hadn't.

351. It's my obligation to pray for you, to make you happy and comfort you. When you're down, I will lift your spirits. Wala naman akong choice eh, ganyan ang papel ng mga angels.

352. Baboy: Hirap ng buhay natin, no? Manok: Oo nga! Lagi na lang tayong nali-lechon. Buti pa itong unggoy, pabasa-basa lang ng text! Tumawa pa!

353. Yes, I love you. I love you more than anybody else in this world, and there is nothing that I would like better than to hold on to you forever.

354. While Dad was polishing his new car, his four-year old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In his anger, Dad took the child's hand and hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, his child said, 'Dad, when will my fingers grow back?' Dad was so hurt. He went back to the car and kicked it a lot of times. Sitting back, he looked at the scratches the child made, it read... 'I LOVE YOU DADDY'

355. Juan: Doc, uminom ako ng Viagra kahapon ng umaga. Till now, matigas pa din. Doctor: Naku, next year pa lalambot yan. Juan: Ha? Bakit? Doctor: Tingnan mo ang expiration, 2007 pa!

356. Without romance, love gets dry. Without respect, love gets lost. Without caring, love gets boring. Without honesty, love gets unhappy. Without sex, pucha! break na! break!!

357. The miracles in our lives are simply the making of a few loving friends who care much, love for real and see us so much beyond ourselves. Have a good morning!

358. Ganoon ba talaga kapag hindi ka na kailangan? Bigla ka na lang mawawalan ng puwang sa puso ng isang tao. Masasaktan ka tapos maiisip mo, 'Paano nya ako nagawang saktan?! Eh hindi naman sya kasarapan.' =)

359. You are aging when the candles on your birthday cake are enough to burn down your house, when your joints are as creaky as a rundown door, when your hairline starts to recede and your waistline starts to expand, when you can live without sex but not without your eyeglasses, when your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

360. Pasukan song: Pasukan na naman o kay tulin ng araw. Pasukan na naman, tila bakasyon kailan lang. Ngayon ay pasukan, dapat pasalamatan. Ngayon ay pasukan, tayo ay mag-awitan. Baon, baon, baon na namang muli. Tanging baon nating pinakamimithi. Baon, baon, baon na namang muli. Ang allowance naghahari! Good morning!

continue reading Text Messages 331-360...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Text Messages 301-330

301. When you love someone, you let them go thinking that if they love you, they will come back. What you fail to see is that they may not come back thinking that you don't love them for the very reason you let them go. Think about it.

302. Kunwari, ang pangalan mo, 'Ikaw', tapos ang pangalan ko ay 'Ako'. Ang tanong, sino ang panget?? =)

303. Never regret the choices you make, just believe in yourself and have faith. Life isn't perfect, it's a blend of joy and sorrow, but whatever life leads you, it's because of a purpose.

304. Memories play a very confusing role. They make you laugh when you remember the time you cried together, but sometimes make you cry when you remember the time you last laugh together.

305. Erap: Pareng Ronnie, akyat ka sa puno, pisilin mo bunga kung hinog na. FPJ: (umakyat at pinisil ang bunga.) Oo pare, hinog na. Erap: Sige, baba ka na at sungkitin natin.

306. Misis: Bakit ba tuwing kumakanta ako, lumalabas ka ng bahay? Hindi mo ba gusto ang boses ko? Mister: Hindi naman. Gusto ko lang malaman ng mga kapitbahay na hindi kita sinasaktan! =)

307. Define panty. Panty - man's greatest enemy because it covers the main objective. =)

308. Minsan, sa buhay, may gusto tayong hanapin. Tagumpay? Pag-ibig? Kaibigan? Saya? Pero naisip mo ba? Ang nais mong makita sa umaga, pustahan? Ano? Cellphone, di ba? :)

309. I believe my life is like a jeepney and I am the driver. Some people are coming in and out of my life. Some of them I remember, some of them I don't. But you? You will always be my special passenger.

310. GF: Hon, you know what? You have a body of a god! BF: Oh yeah? You really think so? Which god? Adonis? Zeus? GF: No... Buddha!

311. Nanay: Anak, bumili ka nga ng asin. Anak: Ayoko po, madilim na, takot ako! Nanay: Huwag kang matakot, kasama mo angel mo! Anak: Eh di sya na lang ang utusan mo, dala-dalawa pa kami!

312. Pinadalhan ni Vicky Belo ng sulat ang lahat ng gwapo at magaganda. Alam mo ba kung ano ang laman ng sulat? Hindi mo alam? Hindi ka pinadalhan??!

313. Thank you, for coming into my life, for helping me to be better, for loving me, for accepting me, and most of all, for being my friend! Happy Valentine's my friend!

314. Kapag may problema ka, andito lang ako. Kapag nalulungkot ka, patatawanin kita. Kapag kailangan mo ng kaibigan, andito lang ako. Pero kapag tinawag mo ako tapos hindi ako nakarating, silipin mo ako, baka ikaw naman ang kailangan ko.

315. Let us see if I can still recall the alphabet. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z. Ooops! I miss U!

316. In prosperity, God tests our gratitude; in poverty, our contentment; in darkness, our faith; at all times, our obedience! God bless!

317. Madre: Father, tell your seminarians not to urinate along the fence. Pari: Sister naman! Maliliit na bagay, pinapansin mo. Madre: No! Malalaki, father. Malalakiii!!!

318. A single candle may light an entire room but true friendship lights up a lifetime. Thanks for your friendship which is truly cherished. Good morning!

319. A joke and a truth are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes, the best jokes are true and the best truth are jokes.

320. Man: Hello! Ano pangalan mo miss? Girl: Carmen! Kasi mahilig ako sa “Car” at saka sa “Men” Ikaw? Ano name mo? Man: Pepe! Kasi mahilig din ako eh! Hahahaha!

321. I hate insomnia, not because it doesn’t put me into sleep despite the fact that I’m tired, but because it puts me into a state of reminiscing memories I know I couldn’t bring back. I wish I could drive insomnia away. Not so I can dream well, but to save my pillow from being drowned by my tears. :(

322. The next cruel thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall inlove with him when he doesn't intend to catch her fall.

323. May sagot ako sa isa sa mga tanong mo sa buhay. Maaaring hindi ito mahalaga pero makakagaan ito sa kalooban mo. Alam mo ba na 54 ang butas ng Skyflakes? =)

324. The world is so big, di ba? Imagine?! 7 billion people, 7 continents, over a hundred countries, pero paano tayo nagkakilala? That is what you call 'Kamalasan!' =)

325. You'll never know how much you needed your friends until you look back along the rope and realized how many knots they tied to keep you from falling.

326. A little bird was flying in winter. The bird froze and fell into the ground. A cow came by and dropped some dung on the bird. Bird realized how warm it was and began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing, dig him out and ate him! Lessons to be learned from the story: 1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy; 2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend; and 3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut! =)

327. God has a reason for allowing things to happen, we may never understand His wisdom but we simply have to trust His will. Good evening!

328. When life is a mess, when my heart has been crushed, when I’m wearing a frown, when I breakdown and cry, when I’m blue, can I comfort myself by saying, I have you?

329. If you feel love in your heart, you are blessed by God, and if you share with others the love you have in your heart, you become a blessing from God. Good morning!

330. Nagluluto ang mag-ama ng tanghalian. Ama: Ilang sili ang inilagay mo sa karne, anak. Anak: Labing lima, tay. Ama: O sige, gawin mo nang beinte, tapos kainin mo mag-isa, hayop ka!

continue reading Text Messages 301-330...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Text Messages 271-300

271. Ang araw gumigising kasabay mo; ang ulap kumakaway sa mga ngiti mo; kahit anong oras mag-beep ang cell ko, ngingiti ako pag galing sa 'yo.

272. Student formula: Konting basa + kopya + kodigo + konting sipsip = PASADO!

273. Jack & Jill went up the hill to have a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

274. Lion to mouse: 'I'm getting married soon. What's the best advice you can give me?' Mouse: 'Remember this, I was once a lion before I got married.'

275. Mornings do not mean getting up and working again but it is God's way of saying He loves you so much to let you live another day and be happy! Good morning!

276. We are in a journey. We never know what road shall we take. We might part ways, have different lives and new friends, but please, if you lose your way, just go back to where you meet me. Good morning!

277. God has a purpose in our heartache, the Savior always knows what's best. We learn so many precious lessons in each sorrow, trial and test. Good morning!

278. When a guy loves you, he'll bring out your natural best. When a guy loves you, he'll be proud even at your worst. When a guy loves you, he'll say that you're pretty even at your ugliest. When a guy loves you, he'll never leave you especially at your weakest. When a guy loves you, he'll never get even tired of caressing you. When a guy loves you, he'll come back to you after you reject him. Because no matter how cruel the situation would be, if a guy really loves you, he'll make a way even how hard it could be.

279. Here comes another time for rest, time for dreams. Hope you wake up tomorrow with the spirit more promising than today! Good night!

280. The importance of something is seen when it's done. The worth of someone is realized when they're gone. For it will always be a mystery that we realize the essence when it's already a memory.

281. Toto: Nay, nay! Anong ulam, inay? Nanay: Tingnan mo na lang sa ref, anak. Toto: Eh wala naman tayong refrigerator, inay, di ba? Nanay: Eh di wala tayong ulam!

282. Kapag ang katawan mo'y nag-iinit, lagi na lang ako ang hinahanap hanap mo. Maya't maya mo akong ginagamit at pinapagod. Hindi ka na naawa! - aircon.

283. A friend like you is like a shooting star amongst the million stars in the sky. You let yourself fall from heaven to make me smile.

284. I am only a person who's willing to give you the best of what I can be. But I'm not a perfect person, so I hope you can appreciate the things that I can only give, like being a simple friend I can be.

285. A successful relationship requires falling in love many times with the same person, in different rooms, different bed, different positions. Huh? Ano daw??

286. This message is strictly intended for cute people only.Since you accidentally received it, there must be a technical error for which I deeply apologize.

287. God always repays caring acts. It may not be with money or goods but more often, He repays with health, happiness, friendship and love. Good morning! Take care.

288. Friendship is not about 'kasalanan mo yun.' Dapat, 'i'm sorry.' Not 'Nasaan ka ba?' Dapat, 'Andito ako.' Not 'Bakit ganyan ka?' Dapat, 'I understand.' and not 'Sana ganito ka.' Dapat, 'Thanks kasi ganyan ka.'

289. Kung talagang para sa iyo ang isang tao, mawala man sya sa iyo ng mahabang panahon, magkikita pa rin kayo. Kapag tama na ang mali at pwede na ang hindi. Kayo talaga sa huli.

290. I ask God to bless you, guide you, keep you safe, give you peace, give you love and joy and cash everyday. Ok yon, di ba?

291. If someone hurts you, don't bother. If someone fools you, don't mind them. If someone breaks your heart, forget it. But remember, time doesn't heal the wounds, platelets do. =)

292. Every soul has a partner, yun yung tinatawag na soulmate. God given just for you.Do you want to know who he is? Sya yung taong pilit papasok sa buhay mo sa ayaw mo't sa gusto!

293. The finest part of a good person's life is the little unknown acts of kindness and love. We obtain happiness not because we do great things but because we do small things with great love.

294. We've greeted everyone a Merry Christmas but did you greet our savior Jesus Christ a happy birthday? Pass this to as many as you can. After sending this, there's no miracle. Will you do it for Him?

295. To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment. - George Lansdowne

296. There's nothing enigmatic about why we fall in love with the wrong people. It's caused by the hormonal imbalances and chemical reactions in our system. Science can now explain it. - Discovery Channel.

297. Three contractors were asked to quote for repair of the Whitehouse gate: American contractor: I'll charge $900, $500 for labor, $300 for materials and $100 for me. Mexican: I'll charge $700, $400 for labor, $200 for materials and $100 for me. Filipino: I'll charge $2700. Whitehouse employee: Why so expensive? Filipino: $1000 for me, $1000 for you and $700 for the Mexican to do the job. Whitehouse employee: Hired! When can you start?

298. Use EYE, KNEE, BEER, SEED in one sentence. Sirit na? EYE KNEE BEER SEED dat ay lab yu! - Sam Melbe. Hehehe.

299. Nagalit si Juan dahil puro Flor ang ipinangalan ng misis nya sa triplets nila. Juan: Paano mo ngayon tatawagin ang mga bata? Misis: Ang dali! First Flor, Second Flor, Third Flor!

300. Tanong: Sino ang pinakatangang babae na nabuhay sa sanlibutan? Sagot: Si Eba, nakita na nyang hubo't hubad si Adan, yung mansanas pa ang isinubo. Nyahaha!

continue reading Text Messages 271-300...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Text Messages 241-270

241. Intsik: Bili kayo panty. Kapag sinuot ito, hindi kayo mabubuntis. Babae: Bigyan mo ako ng tatlo. 3 months later, galit si babae: Bakit ako nabuntis? Intsik: Baka hinubad mo!

242. Adulthood means... You have to go places you don't want to go. You have to see people you don't want to see. You can't everything you want. You find out your favorite celebrity will probably not marry you! Hahaha!

243. It doesn't take seeing someone to know and feel that they are there. You don't have to see me, to know that I'm here. You just have to trust that I'll be there when you need me. I'll always be here.

244. Unspoken love is like a poison, if you don't spill it out, it will eat you up inside.

245. Uy! Papicture tayo! Para ma-develop tayo sa isa't isa!

246. Tatay: Isa sa mga anak natin ang kumuha ng pera sa wallet ko! Nanay: Sobra ka, bakit mo pinagbibintangan ang mga bata? Malay mo, ako ang kumuha! Tatay: Sure akong hindi ikaw, may natira eh!

247. Someone who is very fast could easily escape from a gun, but he can never avoid the bullet. Just like love, you could easily avoid someone but never the love that strikes the heart. Good morning!

248. God will shower you graces more than you expected, simply because you never asked for them. It's the people around you, like me, who wished them for you. Happy Easter!

249. Misis: Sa palagay mo, mahal, ilang taon na ako? Mister: Kung titingnan kita sa buhok 18 ka lang; kung nakatalikod 16 lang, kung sa kutis 22 lang. Bale total ay 56 sweetheart.

250. Here is the weather forecast today: There shall be shower of blessings all over you and a heavy downpour of God's love all around you. Have a great day ahead!

251. Scientists have proven that human minds are linked with each other thru neuron activities. So, if you're thinking of someone all day long without any reason at all, that person is probably thinking of you too, in any sense. - Time Magazine (Fiction to Reality)

252. Prayer is a perfume to our soul and a fragrance that pleases God. Wear your prayer everyday and let it freshen you, anytime, anywhere you go. Good night!

253. God never runs out of blessings. Catch it, it's free!

254. Warning: Children playing outside the car can cause accident. Adults playing inside the car can cause children!!!!

255. Bruno: Tay, nasugatan ako! Tatay: Buti nga, hindi ka umiyak. Lalaki talaga ang anak ko! Bruno: Syempre naman po tay, sabi nga sa kani Fergie, 'Big Girls Don't Cry.'

256. How good are you in Math? 2/7 + 9- 5/ 4/ 8- 2/ 5- 4/ 12- 8/2. The question: Sa palagay mo, relatives si Fernando Jose at Fernando Poe?

257. If I'll be given a chance to say something that would reveal how I feel, sa totoo lang, words are not enough! But if you insist, just remember this, 'Kulang pa din ang buhay ko if we never met.' Happy Valentines!

258. Jinggom bels, jinggom bels, jinggom all the way. O daspan, electric fan, kaldero at pinggan, hey! Kumanta ka pa. Sige pa. Advance Merry Christmas! Hahaha! Hohohoho!

259. Love is like a can of tuna. Know why? Kasi, ang love, kapag nagstart, gagawin mo lahat mapasaiyo lang ang taong mahal mo. Yung can of tuna, wala yun, kalimutan mo na lang yun!

260. Ang ulan, handa ka man o hindi, bumubuhos. Pero sa tuwing papatak ito, may isang taong handang mabasa kasama mo. Sya yung taong wala ring payong! Of course! =)

261. Sa kumpisalan. Sexy: Father, kasalanan ba ang hindi pagsusuot ng panty? Father: Oo! Sexy: Paano po yan? Wala akong suot na panty ngayon. Father: Magtambling ka ng 10x papuntang altar!

262. There are things we regret - words we wish had gone unsaid, starts that had bitter endings, chances we threw away, roads we should've never taken, signs we didn't see, hearts we hurt needlessly, and wounds we wish we could mend. But life gets that much harder, the past can't be rewritten but it can make you stronger. Be thankful for every change life has thrown you, for every break in your heart, for every scar. Some pages were turned, some bridges were burned, but you had lessons learned. Good morning!

263. Jeepney driver: Miss, bakit kulang ang bayad mo? Sais lang ito, syete na ang pamasahe ngayon! Inday: I am currently enrolled in a 2 year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and by this fact I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because it is according to the law as stated in the fare matrix. Jeepney driver: Aww!

264. Titser: Bakit ka nalate? Bugoy: Nawalan ho kasi ng 500 yung lalaki. Titser: Tinulungan mo sya na hanapin ito? Bugoy: Hindi po. Tinapakan ko hanggang umalis sya.

265. Buhay natin? Maiksi lang! Hindi mo alam kung anong dapat mong gawin bago ka mawala, kaya bago mahuli ang lahat, sasabihin ko na sa iyo. Pinasaya mo ang buhay ko, kahit medyo ginulo mo! :)

266. Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.

267. I can't be that kind of person others want me to be. I know I can't please everybody for just being me, but I'm glad that there's someone like you who stays beside me, ready to accept whoever the hell I may be! =)

268. BF: Honey, yung binili kong PH Care para sa iyo, wala yatang bisa. Bakit ganito pa rin ang amoy at lasa ng ano mo? GF: Ewan ko nga ba, eh gabi-gabi, isang kutsara naman ang iniinom ko!

269. Anong isda ang mahilig magtampisaw sa ulan? Sagot: Hito! - Hito akooooo. Basang basa sa ulan, walang masisilungan. Haha!

270. At this time, if your world is spinning around and around and your heart is beating fast, do you think, it's love? No my friend, it's high blood pressure!

continue reading Text Messages 241-270...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Text Messages 211-240

211. Once I loved, I believed, I trusted. I failed, I cried, I moved on. Then I loved again. I invested, I exerted, I hoped, I fought. But eventually, I became weak, I got tired, I let go. Love doesn't always succeed. But it always teaches us to let go if we can no longer hold on.

212. Do I have to prove my innocence? I don't need a lawyer with a high degree, because. if loving you is against the law, then you better lock me up and throw away the key.

213. Popular opinion is the greatest lie. - Carlisle

214. A man was going shopping to buy a gift for his wife and asked what she wants and for her sizes. 'If it's clothes, I wear small,' she said. 'If it's diamonds, I wear large.'

215. Imagine if all straight guys are talking in a gay lingo... Student: Buket di mo chinuva yung girlalet? Malaki naman ang susey ng lola mo ah. Hunk: Winnie cordero nga dude, smelanie marquez naman, wit na. Jaworski: Ok, beks, keber sa kalaban, jus focus, we cannot afford to luz valdez. You, achievin mo yung last free throw. Ok, go for gold to the highest level!

216. How generous of God, granting us another day... to prosper, to win a heart, to right a wrong, to make things better and to live life with joy! Have a good day ahead! God bless!

217. Three vampires having dinner: Yung rich, umorder ng fresh blood. Yung middle class, umorder ng dinuguan. Yung mahirap: 'Waiter! Tubig na lang! May napulot akong napkin, magtsatsaa na lang ako!'

218. Love is never measured by the times he made you laugh but by the number of times he made you smile after you cry.

219. Slogans of famous presidents: Marcos: Mabuhay ang Filipino! Cory: Laban Filipino! Ramos: Sulong Filipino! Erap: Casino Filipino! GMA: Naloko ko ang Filipino!

220. If you keep God inside your heart, there is nothing that will come into your life that you won't be able to handle. God bless you always!

221. I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong. I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve. I asked for prosperity and God gave me brain and brawn to work. I asked for courage and God gave me danger to overcome. I asked love and God gave me troubled people to help. I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities. I received nothing I wanted, I received everything I needed. The Lord knows what's best for us!

222. It is better to devote more attention to a successful exit than a favorable entrance. What matters isn't being applauded when you arrive but being missed when you leave.

223. Movies that must not be translated into Filipino. Black Hawk Down - Ibong Maitim Sa Ibaba. Dead Man's Chest - Dodo ng Patay. I Know What You Did Last Summer - Uuyyy, Aminin! Love Actually - Sa Totoo Lang, Pag-Ibig. Million Dollar Baby - Milyun-milyong pisong sanggol (it depends on the exchange rate.) The Blair Witch Project - Ang Proyekto ng Bruhang Si Blair. Marry Poppins - Si Mariang May Putok. Snakes On A Plane - Nag-ahasan sa Ere.

224. Husband to doctor: I want a vasectomy. Doctor: Did you discuss this with your family? Husband: I asked my children and they voted favorably, 17-2.

225. Overnight inaral ng amo ni Inday ang dictionary para may pangtapat na siya kay Inday. Amo: So, Inday, tell me, how do you accept the fact that you are just a mere chambermaid in this extravagant mansion? Inday: Una camarera? Eres tan pathetic. La unica razon que inscribi tu casa es porque nada esta sucediendo dentro de tu casa cuasi-agradable. Quisiera traer una poca clase en este hogar pero conjeturo que no puedo porque esta casa es fea. Amo: Nosebleed.

226. I know it's impossible that we'll always be together. But that doesn't mean we can't have a quantified laughs together, you know. I'll take whatever you can give cause I'm just happy to be with you.

227. Sa lahat ng kaibigan kong nagmahal sa akin, salamat! Sa mga lumoko sa akin, may araw din kayo! Sa mga nagpakilig sa akin, this year ulit ha! Sa mga nanira sa akin, sige lang, para sikat. Sa mga nangutang na nakalimutan na akong bayaran, may interest na yan! Sa mga nagpaiyak sa akin, iiyak din kayo! Sa mga taong nagshare ng experience sa life at advices, ganun pa rin ha? Sa taong mahal ko ngayon, mahal na mahal kita! Sa lahat ng pinagkakautangan ko, magbabayad na po! At sa bumabasa nito, ei, ingat ka palagi ha! ;)

228. Even in the most fulfilled lives, there's still an emptiness that only God can fill. Let Him guide your steps and bless your way, today and everyday. Good night!

229. Boy1: Nag-aalala ako sa kapatid ko. Boy2: Bakit? Boy1: Lagi nya kasing kinakausap ang sarili nya dati, pero ngayon, hindi na. Boy2: Di magaling na sya, bakit hindi na nya kinakausap ang sarili nya? Boy1: Magkagalit daw sila. =)

230. Moving on. Just two words. About a second to blurt out, but can be a million years to achieve. The more you try to get over, the more he/she is invading the mind and heart; so believe it or not, there's no such thing as moving on, it's just a matter of getting used with the pain. To put it in one word - numb.

231. He said, 'I'm sorry if you can't love me the way you loved the one before me, so I'll let you go to find him and hope someday, you'll see that the one true love you are looking for is the one who set you free.'

232. Nurse: Miss, gising na! Patient: Ah, bakit? Nurse: Oras na ng pag-inom ng gamot. Patient: Anong gamot? Nurse: Sleeping pills.

233. It's hard to wait around for something you know might not happen. But it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you ever wanted.

234. Don't pray to be sheltered from problems. But pray to be fearless in facing them. Don't be afraid of pain. But ask for a heart that conquers it!

235. A sad love story. Bf: Huhuhu! Gf: Huhu! Bf: Huhu Huhu! Gf: Huhuhuhu! Bf: Hu hu huhuhu! Gf: Huhu hu! Bf: Huhuhuhuhu! Gf: huhu Bf: Huhuhu! Gf: Huhu! How sad! =(

236. Whenever you don't understand what's happening in your life, you just have to close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, 'Lord, I know it's your plan, just help me thru it.'

237. Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back. - For One More Day

238. Every girl has a dream. Mine is to wake up to the sound of a rock being thrown at my bedroom window, and see the guy I love standing in the rain asking me for another chance. Joke lang! Ang dream ko lang talaga ay yumaman! Wahahaha!

239. A message from the heart. If you don't take care of yourself, we'll take good care of you! - Funeraria Paz.

240. Don't rush into falling in love, for love never runs out. Even if they mock you because you are single, just tell them this: 'God is just busy writing the best love story that will swipe me off my feet!'

continue reading Text Messages 211-240...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Text Messages 181-210

181. Sa pag-ibig, lahat tayo, may diskarte. Yung iba, words. Yung iba, actions. Eh ikaw, anong diskarte mo? Basta ako, 'Atras si Kris, abante ako!!!'

182. If I can pull the rainbow of the sky, I'll shape it into your name then put it back in the sky. Why? To let everyone know how colorful my life has been with a friend like you. Good morning!

183. A little boy was so jealous about his newborn brother so he put poison on the nipple of his mom while asleep. The next day, their driver died!

184. Friends make us brave when we are afraid, make us strong when we are weak, but most of all, they teach us to hold on to them when tears keep on falling.

185. Learn to love with all your heart and accept the unlovable side of others. For anyone can love a rose, but only a great heart can include the thorns.

186. If someone leaves you, don't dare cry. Just smile and be happy. Pero bago mo siya tuluyang palayain, ibulong mo ito sa kanya, 'Maganda ako. Pasalamat ka pinatulan kita, gago!'

187. Sa tuwing nagtetext ka, natatanggap ko naman!

188. Bawat tao, iba magmahal. May tunay, may salawahan, may nang-iiwan, may todo bigay. Iba iba man ang paraan, wala akong pakialam. Dahil wala akong love life!

189. 7 days makes 1 week; 7 days of sex makes 1 weak; but no sex in a week makes 1 sick; however, good sex once a week makes 1 seek.

190. I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote it in the sand, but the water washed it away. So, I wrote your name everywhere. Ayun, akala nila, kandidato ka!

191. The God we met in good times is the same God we meet in hard times. May the Lord refresh us and give us strength as we face new challenges everyday. Good night!

192. Thought for the day, 'Dont think while your mouth is open.' Magmumukha ka kasing tanga!

193. Masaya kapag maraming friends! Tawanan, kantsawan, gimik, trippings. Saya, di ba? Minsan nga, naiisip ko, bakit kailangan pang magboyfriend e nandyan naman kayo? Walang cool-off. Walang split! Yun nga lang, walang ka-sex! hehehe.

194. Dear friend, I asked for a flower, you gave me a boquet; I asked for a stone, you gave me a statue; I asked for a feather, you gave me a peacock. Wow friend! Ang bingi mo!

195. Misis: Hon, bakit ang dumi-dumi mo at ang baho mo pa? Mister: Nakita mo ba yung maliit na imburnal sa kanto natin? Misis: Oo. Mister: Pwes, Ako, hindi ko nakita!

196. Some thoughts to ponder: 1. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 2. What other people think of you is none of your business. 3. Time heals almost everything in time. 4. No one is in charge of yo happiness except you. 5. Don't compare your life to others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.

197. If true friend can be bought, I'm going to sell you in an ukay ukay for only a peso or centavo with 50% discount! Why? So that anyone can avail a friend as true as you. Mukhang sosyal, pero di mahal!

198. The minute you think of giving up, think of the reasons why you held on so long.

199. Before you sleep, just gently lay every troubled thought away. Drop your burden and your care in the quiet arms of prayer because God never sleeps. Good night! Sweet dreams.

200. Glory to God in the highest and peace on earth, good will to men. God gave us peace only through Christ Jesus our lord. May you always have Him in your heart.

201. If my message comes in the wrong time, sorry for the disturbance. And when your phone beeps only to find out na ako lang pala, hope you're not disappointed. Hindi naman siguro masama na maalala kita, di ba?

202. I have you! If you hate me, shoot me with an arrow, but please not on the heart coz that's where you are!

203. Tandaan. Hindi lahat ng maganda, may boyfriend. Ang iba sa kanila, may betlog! Promise!

204. Kring..kring. Amo: Inday, sagutin mo nga yang phone at baka kabit ng sir mo yan! Inday: Si ate talaga oh! Pinapaselos ako! (Taray!)

205. Girls? Definitely, magaganda! Dapat, siniseryoso kahit bolera, masarap naman magmahal. Sweet and loyal, pero kapag niloko, for sure iiyak. Pero kapag ok na, magsisisi ang nagpaiyak! Dahil ang girls, rumeresbak!

206. There are many things about tomorrow I don't understand, but I know who holds tomorrow and I know He holds our hands. To Him I pray that He’d hold yours tighter and always let your days be brighter.

207. Fixing someone's broken heart is much more like treating a sickness, no matter how hard you try, if you're not the right medicine, you can never cure the pain!

208. I just wanna let you know that you are my only special friend. The rest are normal! Hahaha!

209. Mawala man ako sa 'yo, maraming darating, higit pa sa akin. Pero kung talagang nakalaan na ako para maging kaibigan mo, babalik ako ilang ulit man akong kuhanin ng ABS-CBN at GMA.

210. Inay: Bili ka ng Pork and Beans. Boy(Ngongo): Omo. Boy: Ani, ngamuta o kayo? Ale: Ok lang, anong kailangan mo? B: Mo and Men. A: Ano? B: Isa ong Mo and Men. A: Hindi kita magets. B: O, ige. netter Mi as in Minimins(Philippines). A: Ha? B: Mi! (kumanta) ey,mi, ni, ni, e, em, nye... en, em, en, o mi! A: ah P! ituloy mo. B: Mi, Ngo! A: titik O. tapos? B: netter Arng. A: ah, P-O-R, malapit na. B: Oo! Mo and Men! unod ngey. A: Letter A? B: Ini ho. Ngey! A: Alam ko na, Pork and Beans! B: Oo! Mo and Men! A: Ay naku! Wala! :)

continue reading Text Messages 181-210...

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Text Messages 151-180

151. Ice cream ba talaga yung inendorse in Pacquiao sa TV ad nya na Nestle Ice Cream? Akala ko kasi, softdrinks. Kasi, sabi nya, 'Oh mga bata, Mirinda na!' Lufet!

152. As you read a book, it's hard to turn into another page unless you understand the first one. Just like love, it's hard to go on with the new one, unless you are over with your past.

153. You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

154. Sa isang haunted historic place. Babae: Baka may multo dito! Guide: Sa tagal nang work mo dito, wala pa akong nakikitang multo. Babae: Whew! Gaano ka na ba katagal nagwowork dito? Guide: 285 years na. Awooo!

155. Sometimes, we seem never contented of what we have. We were given good but we keep on seeking for the best which sometimes leads us to missing the simple yet satisfying part of this journey. Just like in love, we set requirements, we target the ideal, so where do we end up? We end up hoping that the ones we have left behind still have spaces for us, because the one we thought to be ideal doesn't seem to see us that way. What an irony! But I guess, that would be reality.

156. To be happy, don’t do whatever you like – like whatever you do. Happiness comes not from having much to live ON, but having much to live FOR.

157. May nakadinner date ako. May kulangot near her lips. Sinabihan ko na lang na 'may kanin near your lips.' Dinilaan nya at sabi, 'Ikaw talaga, hindi naman kanin eh, ulam!'

158. A simple text means I care enough to flex a few muscles, search your name, wait for 'Message Sent' then think of you and smile as I say, 'Sarap ng may kaibigan!'

159. One great problem in life is loneliness. But somehow, texting gives relief. It's like making a tap at the back saying, 'Ayos ka lang ba dyan? Eto lang ako ha, ingat!'

160. Pedro: Miss, magkano serbisyo mo? GRO: 500 sa kama, 300 sa sofa, 200 sa sahig at 100 sa damuhan. Pedro: Sige, 500! GRO: Wow, bigatin! Isang beses sa kama? Pedro: Hindi! 5 beses sa damuhan!

161. Kapag balisa ka, remember God's promise. Kapag inis ka, control yourself. Kapag may problema, pray. At kapag wala kang pera, isipin mo ako. Kasi, hindi ka nag-iisa. Wala din akong pera! Hehehe.

162. Four stages in life. 1. You believe in Santa Claus. 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3. You are Santa Claus. 4. You look like Santa Claus!

163. Friend always understand each other, that's why wem dgrfhb djhgl adho lasofd. Ano? Hindi mo maintindihan? Ako din eh! Friends nga tayo!

164. Honey bees must tap two million flowers to make one pound of honey. Remember, the sweetest rewards come from the hardest struggles.

165. When these days are gone, when the little love you once feel for me slowly fades away, when your smile and laugh is only here as a dream, and when the words 'I love you' are scripts of the past, I'll always have the memories that were once moments, and I'll always know that no matter what, I got the chance to love you the best way I can.

166. Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding messages, this maybe because: When you are very busy but still want to keep in touch. When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep in contact. When you have something to say, but don't know what and how. To let you know that you are still remembered, important, loved, cared for and still wanted. So, the next time you get a message, don't think that I just texted, but I want you to know that I'm just here and I'm still keeping you as my friend!

167. This hurts: 'Should I smile because we're friends? or should I cry because that's all we'll ever be?'

168. Kikay girls don't make habol guys kasi sayang their footspa. So, if you're planning to cry for just a guy, think! Then say, Ay, not na lang. Sayang my make-up, kakapagod magretouch.

169. Love is a song not only played on radio. Instead, it's a song played in a person's heart. If you're in love, sing that song and go along because you might find out someone is also singing your song.

170. Dear God, please take care of this person. Bait po yan, and feel ko po, sya ang pinaka-unang magbibigay sa aking ng regalo sa Pasko! Amen!

171. Life provides us with many options, go on or give up, hold on or let go, stay or leave, but it’s comforting to know that GOD remains faithful which ever way we go. Good night!

172. Kapag may kaaway ka, kahit sobrang dami pa nila, kahit mas malaki pa sila sa akin, tawagin mo ako at babalikan natin sila. Hihingi tayo ng sorry. =)

173. ... Nakikita mo ba yang 3 tuldok na yan?! Mabuti naman! =)

174. Knowing you has made me happy in a million ways and if ever I'd have to let you go. I would find a million reasons to make you stay.

175. Friendship has one law. Never make your friend feel alone till you are there! So, disturb your friends as much as you can, like what i'm doing now.

176. If you talk to God, they call you religious. If God talks to you, they call you psychotic. - Dr. House.

177. Even though you're far away, always remember that I'm here to stay. So, if ever you're lonely and blue, pacheck-up ka oy! Walang taong blue! Ano ka, si Doraemon?! Hehehe.

178. Inday.... will always love you!

179. Leave something for God but never leave God for something. Because in life, something will leave you, but God will always be there for you.

180. Sabi nila, karaniwan sa magaganda, tanga. Kasi, karaniwan sa tanga, marunong magmahal, walang expectations, walang paki! Ang mahalaga, mahal, kagaya ko, aminadong tanga! Maganda ako eh, paki nila?

continue reading Text Messages 151-180...

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