Sunday, November 30, 2008

text messages 1441-1470

1441. If you keep doing what you have always done, you will always get what you always got. So, when you want something you’ve never had, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.

1442. Happiness is learning to appreciate every little blessings and finding the positive lessons in every hurt and failure. Have a nice day ahead!

1443. In 1998, government doctors distributed condoms to Igorots in the Mountain Province for birth control. Kahapon lang, sumulat ang isa, 'Pwede na bang tanggalin?!'

1444. Thought of the day: Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. Have a nice day!

1445. I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creating a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in and out, up and down, can't wait till next time. I love my toothbrush!

1446. Totoo ba ang balitang MALIBOG ka? as in.. Mabait Attractive Loving Intelligent Behaved Openminded Good-looking? Atin lang ito ha. 'Malibog' din ako!

1447. God's love is a candle in the dark. No matter how gloomy our life may be, just one little touch of His love is enough to bring warmth and light. God bless.

1448. Life has its own way of making us smile. Even when you wanna give up and lose hope. Because certain surprises come your way just when you thought you would never smile again. Good morning!

1449. Boy1: Tol, nakipagbreak ang girlfriend ko. Ipinadala pa sa akin ang pictures nila ng bagong boyfriend nya sa motel. Boy2: Anong ginawa mo? Boy1: Ipinadala ko sa tatay nya yung pictures nila. Balibag yun mamaya!

1450. Ano ang tawag sa hipon na madalas madisgrasya? Eh di, accident prawn! Ano ang tawag sa mabilis sa pagkain? Fast food! Sa mas mabilis? Fasta! E ang pinakamabilis? Sofas!

1451. When I first saw your eyes, the shape of your lips, the way you smile, the color of your teeth and the figure of your body, I found out that a famous saying is really true! Nobody's perfect! Hehehe.

1452. They say the world will end soon. They may be right but they could also be wrong. But whatever fate the world may have, I won't allow it to end without telling you, 'I'm glad you came along.'

1453. Prayers are very powerful. The devil smiles when we are weak, he laughs when we are too busy, he giggles when we are afraid but he trembles when we pray. So, pray always!

1454. Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality. Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it. I don't know the key to success, but one key to failure is to please everyone. So why waste your time thinking about what others will tell you? Instead, do what makes you and God happy. Good morning!

1455. Boy: Sunduin kita mamaya, bubusina na lang ako kapag nasa harap na ako ng bahay nyo. Girl: Ok, sige. Anong dala mong sasakyan? Boy: Wala, busina lang! =)

1456. The one good thing about not seeing you is that I can write you letters but the loneliness, the pain of missing you kills me. How I wanted to be with you till my last breath.

1457. In my dreams you gave me your heart. In my dreams we were never apart. In my dreams you kept me close. In my dreams you loved me the most. In my dreams we're always together... might as well be dreaming forever...

1458. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies, succeed anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of being selfish and having ulterior motives, be kind anyway. What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight, build anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you, be honest and frank anyway. Give the world the best you have, it may never be enough, give the world the best you have anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous, be happy anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it's between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. Good morning!

1459. GF ni kukote ito. Pwede bang tigilan mo na ang pagtetext sa BF ko?! Dahil sa ganyan, napapabayaan na nya ang pag-aartista nya! Fan ka ba nya? Ha? =)

1460. Girl about to be married: Dad, I'm so sad to be leaving Mom! Dad: I understand. Don't let me stand in the of your happiness. Plaease, take your Mom with you!

1461. 5 Fingers Of Prayer: 1) Your thumb is nearer to you, so pray for those who are closest to you. 2) Pointing finger: Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. 3) Tallest finger: Pray for our leaders, they need God's guidance. 4) Ring finger: Weakest finger, so pray for those who are weak, troubled or in pain. 5) Little finger: the smallest - to remind you to pray for yourself. Please forward and share to people you care about.

1462. God gave us 86,400 valuable seconds each day. May I use a few seconds to say thanks for giving me the gift of knowing someone like you.

1463. Someone asked me why I hold on to him, I smiled. What made me care for him, I stayed silent. They asked why of all people I chose him, I said, 'In a world of lies, he is the only truth I know.'

1464. Anak: Itay, bibili ako ng band peper. Itay: Anak, huwag kang bobo ha? Hindi band peper ang tawag dun! Anak: Ano po ba? Itay: Kokongban.

1465. Someone has wisely said: “The heart is a fertile place…anything planted there will grow for sure… whether LOVE or HATRED” Good Morning!! =)

1466. Dear Ma'am/Sir, I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee, effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company. Yours truly, Inday. - Lufet ni Inday, in fairness!

1467. To boys from cupid: Never leave the girl that destiny picked for you. Truly, distance makes the heart grow fonder but too much will instead make you wander. Always make your presence felt for all she needs is emotional assurance. There is one girl who is meant to catch my arrow for you and nothing can change that, not time nor circumstance.

1468. Thought of the day: 'If you were born na panget, it's not your fault. Pero kapag namatay kang ganyan, kasalanan mo na yan!' - Vicky Belo.

1469. Don't spoil what you have by desiring what you don't have. Rather, remember that what you have now was once among the things you used to hope for.

1470. Because of a friend like you, I've laughed a little harder, cried a little less, smiled a bit more. Because of you, I've learned to appreciate life more, thanks for coming my way!

continue reading text messages 1441-1470...

Saturday, November 29, 2008

text messages 1411-1440

1411. Life's pretty simple. When you're asking for apples and life hands you lemons, make lemonade. If you're on your way out and it starts to rain, at least you won't have to water the plants anymore. It's a matter of seeing things in perspective. The benefits may not be immediate nor obvious, but you have to know this for sure: God will never give you anything you can't handle.

1412. The Don'ts to Remember: Don't wait for time. Make it. Don't wait for love. Feel it. Don't wait for money. Earn it. Don't wait for the path. Hack it. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. Don't go for less. Get the best. Don't compare. Be unique. Don't avoid failure. Use it. Don't dwell on mistakes. Learn from them. Don't back down. Go around. Don't close your eyes. Open your mind. Don't run from life. Embrace and enjoy it. Don't just read this. Share it!

1413. One day, a sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac were talking in a psychic ward... Sadist: I'm bored, why don't we torture a cat? Zoophile: Yeah, we'll torture it and then f*ck it! Murderer: We'll torture it, f*ck it and then kill it! Necrophile: We'll torture it, f*ck it, kill it and f*ck it again! Pyromaniac: Yeah! Then, we'll burn the cat! ... Sudden silence... Then, all asked the masochist, 'Why he didn't say anything?' Masochist: Meow!

1414. Do you know what makes me happy when you text me? Not your message, but your name that appears when it beeps. Because I miss the sender behind it.

1415. If you love someone, you say it right then out loud or the moment just passes you by. - My Bestfriend's Wedding

1416. Saan ka na? Magreply ka naman. Andito kami, naghihintay sa iyo sa may GMA Studio. May taping tayo ngayon sa commercial ng Safeguard. Bilisan mo, ikaw ang germs! hahaha!

1417. I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress. - Inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo.

1418. Umaga na naman, gising mga pasaway! Magtanggal ng muta at panis na laway. Humarap sa salamin at sabihin, 'Cute ko talaga.' Tiyak, ganda inyong umaga kahit kagigising mo pa lang ay nagsinungaling ka na! =)

1419. Life is unpredictable. You may not live long and miss out telling your friends that they're appreciated. So I'm telling you now that life won't be the same without you as one of my friends.

1420. Kapag nagtetext ako sa 'yo, ang gusto ko, napapangiti kita kahit sa simpleng pangungumusta, sa mga quotes na ipinapasa ko, gusto ko gumagaan yung loob mo, at nasasabi mo na... naalala na naman ako ni 'kukote' =)

1421. Boy: Pwede bang umakyat ng ligaw? Girl: Sorry, wala kaming stairs!

1422. Ang love, parang work. Mahirap pero masaya, maraming kakumpetensya, pero kinakaya. May dayoff at overtime, tapos, minsan, may bonus pa. Eh paano kung pagod ka na? Magreresign ka na lang ba??

1423. Three important stars in your life: 1. Party like a rock star. 2. Look like a movie star, and most importantly, 3. F*ck like a porn star! :D Awooo! Yeaba!

1424. The hardest part in walking away from the one you love is the part that you realize that they will never ever run after you.

1425. Inday, punta ka sa botika. Ibili mo si sir ng Viagra. Maid: Sa iyo ba gagamitin ni Sir? Misis: Bakit? Maid: Kasi, pag sa akin, Red Bull lang, pwede na!

1426. How to get the person you love? 1. Be friendly sa kanya. 2. Intindihin mo sya. 3. Mahalin mo lang sya hanggang magsawa ka. Kapag wala pa ring nangyari, lasingin mo! Talo-talo na! =)

1427. The awareness that two people are soulmates should be bilateral. If only one person believes it, it's called stalking. - Jessica Zafra.

1428. Nun complains about male nudity in the apartment accross hers. Police: But sister, from here, you only see him from the waist up and that's not a problem. Nun: Hello! Halika, tumayo ka sa ibabaw ng mesa! Ayun noh, kitang kita ko noh!

1429. Be thankful that you don't have everything you desire, if you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful for the difficult times, it's during those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

1430. People say I'm strong because I'm numb to any pain. Actually, it's my special technique. What they don't know is that I had to break my heart a million times just to master it.

1431. Sexy girl nagkukumpisal. Priest: O iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal? Sexy: Father, kapag nakakarinig po ako ng lalakeng nagmumura, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong yayain syang magsex. Priest: Put*ng ina, hindi nga?! =)

1432. Husband: Mahal, kung hindi ako makaligtas sa operasyong ito, ikaw na sana ang bahala sa mga bata. I love you all! Wife: Tumigil ka! Wala pang namatay sa tuli!

1433. Don't talk too much when you're mad, you might say things you don't mean to say.

1434. Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.

1435. God gave us two gifts: one is choice, the other, chance. The choice of a good life and the chance to make it the best. God bless you with a lovely day!

1436. In the Lord's prayer, the word 'love' did not appear; 'forgive' was used. It's because forgiving is the highest expression of loving. Have a nice day!

1437. Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted.

1438. Nang pumatong ako, gumalaw sya, hanggang sabay na kami. Una, dahan-dahan hanggang pabilis nang pabilis. Shit! Ang sarap sarap. Ikaw, gusto mo rin bang sumakay sa duyan? Hehe.

1439. A good person is never alone. One who sows thoughtfulness reaps friendship. One who plants kindness reaps love. Enjoy the fruits you've sown well. Good morning!

1440. Love changes you. The way you act, the way you think, the way you decide. Sometimes, you even go against your principles and beliefs in life. Loving doesn't always mean you'll be happy. But you will soon realize that it is better if the person you love would be happy with someone else, than lonely with you. That's what you call sacrifice.

continue reading text messages 1411-1440...

Friday, November 28, 2008

text messages 1381-1410

1381. Tom Cruise + Katie Holmes = 'Tomkat', Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie = 'Brangelina', Ogie + Regine = Ogre! Hehehe. Shrek 3, now showing!

1382. An airplane crashed at a town in Batangas: Media: Manong, pakilarawan po ng nangyari. Manong: Ala eh, nakow, garne ga utoy. Kakaalmusal ko laang. Gayak ako'y sisinsay sa kahanggan, ay natan-awan ko yaan sa alapaap ay nasisilaban. Bago sumirok ng papagay-on na akala mo'y papatak. Ginagaling na laang at sa sukalang are sumugba, ay kung sa kabayanan ga, ay di panay mga utas! Media: Ano daw??

1383. Don't be afraid to take risks and experience pain to achieve your dreams. Always remember, if you want a rainbow, you must first go through the rain.

1384. When I lose someone I love, sobrang sakit. But it was then I realized, 'Ok lang mawala ang taong minsan kong minahal, huwag lang ang mga kaibigan ko na lagi kong karamay!'

1385. Another moon? Possible. Another sun? Possible? Another sky? Possible. Another you? Impossible! Because God can't make the same mistake twice. Hehehe.

1386. I cried because I don't have a shoe until I saw a man without a feet. Sometimes, we're just too blind to appreciate the things which surround us.

1387. I'm proud of myself because I was given a chance to meet someone like you. Whatever happens, I'll always treasure you because I know, I'll never have another friend like you.

1388. Bakit hindi lalake ang nanganganak? Eh paano mo nga naman palalabasin dun ang bata? Ano yun, parang toothpaste?

1389. ) Ginupit na kuko!

1390. Valer kuberch, kahit jutay, ang julamantrax donchi ay anek-anek. Nyongkamas at nutring, nyogarilyas at kipay, nyitaw, nyotaw, jutani. Kundol, jutola, jupot, jolabastrax, at mega join-join pa, jobanox nyustasa, nyubuyax, nyomatis, nyowang at luyax, and around the keme ay fullness ng linga! - Bahay Kubo, Gay version.

1391. I admit that I may not be the best friend for you, or even give you a perfect care. But there's only one thing I can promise... '214' - 2 be 1 of your friends 4ever.

1392. They say that if love becomes painful, it's time to let that love go and save yourself. Just keep this in mind, you'll be able to find another love, but not another self.

1393. Paano ba ang tamang pagbati sa umaga? Good morning! Luma na. Gud am! Maikli. Magandang umaga! Tagalog, baduy! Alam mo kung anong masarap pakinggan? Eh di, 'Hi, cute! Gising na!' =) Smile ha!

1394. Words of a student to live by: 'Whenever I feel like studying, I lie down until the feeling is gone.' Yeah!

1395. There will always be dreams grander or humbler than your own, but there will never be a dream exactly like your own, for you are unique and more wondrous than you know. Good night!

1396. Having someone to remember is pleasing enough to the heart. It doesn't matter if you remember me once in a while, what matters is we're friends at all times!

1397. I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we don't even really have. Some of us say we rather have that something than absolutely nothing. But the truth is: to have it halfway is harder than not having it all.

1398. Boy-1: Tanungin mo ako ng English, sasagutin kita ng Spanish. Boy-2: What is more important, heart or mind? Boy-1: Spanish.

1399. Trials are like fire, it can destroy or strengthen you depending on your character and outlook in life. Remember, the fire that melts butter is the same fire that hardens steel.

1400. Isang kwento na tanging Batangueno laang ang makakaintindi. Dine sa tuklong ay may puno ng kape na arugang-aruga pa ng mamay. Siyang pinapugadan sa hantik na guyam at pinabantayan sa bilot. Naulutang ngatain ng mamay ang bubot na parang sinturis. Pasal na pasal. Nang bigla na laang nagpatikar, lumiban ng karsada kahit naambon, naglulupagi sa gabukan kaya puro libag, tubal na tubal, talipa ang sipit at gura. Napadpad ang mamay sa masukal na balinghuyan at doon naulutang gamitin ang kawot para garutihin ang bangkalang.

1401. This puzzle is exclusively for those who have a sharp mind. How many eggs will a rooster lay in 1 year if it lays 5 eggs a day? No reply, no IQ! Game? I'll wait...

1402. Kung isang oras na lang ang natitira sa buhay ko, at ikaw ang makakasama ko, saan mo ako dadalhin at ano ang gagawin mo para mapasaya mo ako sa isang oras na yun? Sagutin mo ha? Wait ko.

1403. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak. Instead, it proves that you are strong to let go of the things that are important to you. Love is not what makes you complete but it is when you learn to be unselfish.

1404. Not everyone may understand the way I am, some may hate me, while others will love me. For all of that, all I can say is thank you for whatever appreciation you have.

1405. Morning smile makes the day better. That’s the best thing we can do to make life happy. Good morning.

1406. Tatlong pari, nagsabihan ng sikreto. Pari1: Sa inyo ko lang ito sasabihin, may nabuntis akong parishioner. Pari2: Ako naman, bading, may boyfriend akong sakristan. Pari3: Ako naman, madaldal.

1407. Do you believe in soulmates? They say they are two people constantly in search for one another without them even knowing. Soulmates are meant to be together forever, that's why they continuously search for each other, against time and space. Lucky are those who actually cross paths, however, they just cross, but who said they could actually be together?

1408. Falling in love with you is the second best thing in the world... Finding you is the first!

1409. Love is complex, it can hurt, it can be great. But never ask anyone to define love because love was never meant to be explained, it is supposed to be felt.

1410. If you really love someone never let go, don't believe that letting go means that you love best, instead fight for your love, that's what true love is.

continue reading text messages 1381-1410...

Thursday, November 27, 2008

text messages 1351-1380

1351. In the morning I do not eat because I think of you. At noon I do not eat because I think of you. In the evening I do not eat because I think of you, and at night I do not sleep because Im hungry.

1352. Amo: Inday, kunin mo nga yung Vogue magazine. Inday: Ma'am, Vogyu, hindi Vog. Amo: Inday, Vog ang tamang pagbigkas. Inday: O sige na nga Ma'am, Vog na, there's no need to arg!

1353. The law of the seed: Most seeds never grow. For 1 apple tree to bear 500 apples, you need 10 seeds. In life, this principle might mean you'll need to attend 20 interviews to get 1 job, talk to 50 people to sell 1 house, meet 1000 acquiantances to have 1 special person. If we really want to make things happen, we usually need to try more than once. That's the law of nature.

1354. In tough times, stay motivated by looking how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Count your blessings, not what you are missing. God bless you!

1355. Sa isang school. Boy: Tapos ka na ba sa exam mo? Girl: Bakit naman? Boy: Wala lang. Para ako naman ang sagutin mo.

1356. One cannot question the existence of feelings. They are there, raw and undeniable, but one can choose not to nurture what is felt, yet no matter what they say, what has been felt will always be more honest than what was chosen. Hence, true realities are not built by the mind but by the heart.

1357. The good thing that you desire will become the best thing when you allow God to give it to you in His time. 'He has made everything in His time.' Ecc. 3:11. Good morning!

1358. 'God bless you' is such a little prayer but it means so much. It means may the Lord with His gracious hands give you more than you have prayed for. Good morning!

1359. Kapag iniwan ka ng mahal mo, huwag kang lumuha. Sa halip, magsaya ka at sabihin, simula ng iwan mo ako, 'My skin is firmer, my pores are smaller, and my lines, parang nawala!'

1360. Relationships are like traffic signs, 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no U turn, no left turn. But the best so far is give way and keep right.

1361. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this text to at least 5 people in the next 30 seconds, a bird will crap on you today.

1362. We exist temporarily thru what we take, but we live forever thru what we give. It's better to give than to receive. So, paano? Gift ko na lang sa Pasko ha!

1363. SOmetimes, you need to experience everything so that you would learn. There's no easy way in living life, so live it as it is. Cry. Laugh. Be crazy. And don't miss the chances that life is giving you because the most important things are not things at all, most of the time, they are people making your life worth living.

1364. It can be cute when people who have a lot in common date each other. But isn't it more fun to date someone you can argue with? And then, in the end, agree to disagree then hold each other tight? I mean, really, why would you want to date yourself?

1365. Madaling magkasakit ang mga cute, ang mga crush ng bayan, ang ma-appeal at henyo, ang kind, thoughtful, smart, malakas ang karisma, ang... ang sama na ng pakiramdam ko.

1366. Anak: Ma, si kuya, nagbigti po sa banyo! Mama: Ha? Tumakbo patungong CR. Mama: Punyeta ka, huwag kang magbibiro ng ganyan! Anak: Hehehehe. Joke! Sa kwarto po sya nagbigti!

1367. Many complain of their looks, but none of their brains! - Yiddish proverb. Oo nga naman!

1368. Businessman explaining the reason for having two or more wives: 'Monopoly is always damaging while competitions improve service!'

1369. Higa kita sa kama. Tapos, huhubaran kita. Hahalikan kahit saan. Hahaplusin ko buong katawan mo! Tapos, tatanggalin ko ang Diaper mo. Baby, don't cry ha!

1370. Lani Misalucha : Asia's Nightingale. Regine Velasquez : Asia's Song Bird. Christian Bautista : Hearthrob of Asia. Gloria Macapagal Arroyo : Mole of Asia!

1371. Minsan, sa buhay natin, hindi maiiwasang mabasa ng ulan, maranasan ang bagyo. Pero sa mga pagkakataong ito, tandaan mo kaibigan, payong ang dalhin mo, huwag kapote. Ano ka, Grade 1?

1372. One of the biggest form of flattery is knowing that just by being your normal, wonderful self, you make some bitches extremely insecure. =)

1373. Umiyak ako kay God before. Tanong ko, 'Bakit po palagi akong nalalayo sa mga kaibigan ko?' Niyakap nya ako at sabi nya: 'Kasi anak, angel ka at aswang sila, magkaiba kayo ng level!'

1374. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it is only with yourself.

1375. Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more.

1376. Husband: Hindi ako makatulog, lagi kong naiisip ang utang ko kay pare na dalawang milyong piso. Wife: Tawagan mo si pare, sabihin mo, hindi ka makakabayad para sya naman ang hindi makatulog.

1377. Dear SOLDIER, I see that you’re tired. I tell you, drop your sword and put down your shield. Why worry about the fight? After all, it’s not your battle. It’s Mine. All you have to do is to be in the battle field. Then against the thousand who tried to destroy you, there I will stand and rescue you. Winning this war requires neither only Me nor only you. But rather, ME and YOU. Just do your best and I’ll take care of the rest. Your COMMANDER, JESUS.

1378. Kung ikaw ang magsisilbing kandila sa dilim, hindi kita sisindihan! Mas gugustuhin ko pang maglakad sa dilim at matinik kasama ka, kesa makarating ako sa liwanag pero wala ka na!

1379. Ang pag-aaral ang pinto ng tagumpay, pero ang pangongopya ang susi! Hehehe!

1380. Si Superman, man of steel, hindi ba? Hindi tinatablan ng bala at kutsilyo. Bumabaluktot ang mga karayom sa kanya. Eh eto ang tanong. Tuli na kaya sya? Eh paano sya tutuliin, aber??!!

continue reading text messages 1351-1380...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Text Messages 1321-1350

1321. When you receive this message, send it to: 3 that you think is amazing, 2 persons you secretly hate, 2 bestfriends, 3 that you think is stupid, 3 that you always think of, 1 crush, 4 that you want to get close with, 1 that you love, 1 you idolize, 2 persons that you can't forget and 1 you wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent you this message. Bwahahaha!

1322. Bisaya teacher: Class, I want you to watch Sex Scenes! Class: What?! Teacher: What's wrong? It's beatipul pilm starring Bruce Welles. Class: Ahh! Sixth Sense!

1323. A child in the farm looks up, sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place. A traveler in the plane looks down, sees the farm house and dreams of home. That's life, you'll never realize the value of a thing unless it moves away from you. So be happy and start enjoying what you have now.

1324. Man and wife out on African safari when suddenly, a lion sprang out of nowhere and dragged wife with its jaw. Wife: Shoot! Shoot! Husband: I can't! Wala na akong film!

1325. Para sa makulit, pero mabait. Para sa sabog, pero kalog. Para sa mapang-asar, pero thoughtful. Para sa maloko, pero cute. Para sa akin pala ito?! Pakisend nga ulit!

1326. May the Lord give you a fresh supply of strength to do your tasks, anoint your works, bless your plans so that even your smallest accomplishments will glorify God. Good morning!

1327. Pare, nag-away kami ng girlfriend ko. Bakit naman? She asks for a gift, sabi kahit ano daw, basta may diamond. Yun naman pala eh, anong niregalo mo? Baraha!

1328. Be a person full of love and life, stay simple yet happy. When things go wrong, don't go blue, just say, 'I will get thru.' And always remember, God loves you. Take care!

1329. Anak: Inay, nung nasa bus kami ni papa, sabi nya, bigay ko inuupuan ko sa dalagang sumakay. Inay: Tama yun anak. Anak: Pero inay, nakakandong lang ako kay papa nun!

1330. When you love, it's not for you to be understood but for you to understand. Not for you to take but for you to be taken. To listen, not to dictate. To sacrifice and not to demand. Not to count or measure but to love.

1331. Mom and girl are watching a movie. Suddenly, there's a love scene. Girl: Mom, what are they doing? Mom: Oh, they're baking. Girl: Ok. Then in the morning. Girl: Mom, I know you and dad are baking last night! Mom: How did you know? Girl: I tasted the frosting on the couch! Eeeoowww!

1332. People like you are found only once in a lifetime. I want to be sure that I'm not going to spend that lifetime looking for another you! I'm happy I met you!

1333. It takes a thousand workers to build a castle and a million soldiers to protect a country, but just one woman to make a happy home. Let's thank the maid!

1334. Question: What is the new definition of old age? Answer: It is when you see someone sexy and the only thing it arouses is your memory!

1335. Life is like the sea; now troubled, later calm. But even how big the waves are, or how high the tide is, always remember: Tide is miracle! Di gyud ilisan. Ilisan pang bana!

1336. It is not destiny that determines love, it is choice. Our so-called destiny is a lie. Relationships last long not because they're destined to last long. Relationships last long because two brave people made a choice - to keep it, to fight for it, and to work for it. Meanwhile, other relationships fail not because they're destined to fail. They failed because one of the two, or both, made the choice - to set each other free.

1337. Three things in life when gone never come back: time, words and opportunity. Three things in life that should never be lost: peace, hope and honesty. Three things in life that are most valuable: love, faith and prayer. Three things in life that are never certain: dreams, success and fortune. Three things in life that make a person: hardwork, sincerity and commitment. Three things in life that can destroy a person: lust, pride and anger. Three things that are truly constant: change, death and God. Good evening!

1338. Sometimes we think we have so little and always wanting But if we start to appreciate the little things in life, we will find out that we have so much. So much of family and friends, so much of love and so much of God in our hearts.

1339. Boy: Can I touch your software? Girl: Show me first your hardware. Boy: Can I install it in your system? Girl: Ok, if you cover it with anti-virus first. =)

1340. Guy1: Alam mo, last month, isinama ko ang girlfriend ko sa bahay ng lolo kong milyonaryo. Guy2: Oh, bakit malungkot ka? Anong nangyari? Guy1: Ayun, lola ko na sya ngayon!

1341. Man: Doctor, bakit dinugo sa first night ang asawa ko e dating GRO yan. (Ineksamin ng doktor ang misis) Doc: Wala po kayong dapat ikabahala, natuklap lang po ang kalyo!

1342. A salesman stopped at a farmhouse for the night. Farmer: Sorry, we don't have vacant room, but I can let you sleep with my daughter if you promise not to bother her. (Salesman agreed.) He went inside the dark room, undressed and slept into bed. He felt the farmer's daughter at his side. Next morning, he asked for his bill. Farmer: 50 pesos only because you shared the bed. Salesman (paid the bill and said): Your daughter was very cold. Farmer: Yes, I know, we are going to bury her today.

1343. Sometimes, two people decide to be just friends even if they still love each other and I often wonder why? I suppose it's not the love that's so hard to sustain, but the commitment that complicates everything.

1344. The best feeling in the world is realizing you're perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed. Have a nice day ahead!

1345. Reports have it that Congress intends to ammend the Bible after they are done with the Constitution. I think they intend to abolish Hell before their terms here on earth expire.

1346. Minsan, nakakapagod maghabol at makipaglaro ng taguan sa taong mahal mo. Pero alam mo, mas nakakapagod at mas mahirap magtaguan lalo pa kung ikaw ang taya sa Mall of Asia! =)

1347. The most interesting thing about heart transplants is that one completely loses his own heart and be replaced with someone else's yet still has the feelings for the same person he/she loves. This proves that love works in the minds of people and not in their hearts. Bottomline is, love is a state of mind. You'll learn how to forget only if you try doing so. - Dr. Burke, Grey's Anatomy.

1348. Ang kaibigan, parang movie! May action, may comedy, may drama, may horror at may love story! Pero kung ikaw ang bida, ahh, alam ko yan. Sure ako, scandal yan! hehehe.

1349. Teacher: Who can give an example of a tag question? Pupil: My teacher is beautiful, isn't she? Teacher: Good! Itagalog mo nga! Pupil: Si ma'am ay maganda, hindi naman, di ba?!

1350. When life gets you down and you feel weary, draw inspiration and strengths from these words of the great poet and philosopher, Chito Miranda: 'Tama na yan, inuman na! Hoy pare ko, tumagay ka! Nanlalamig ang lalamunan, naghihintay, nag-aabang!' =)

continue reading Text Messages 1321-1350...

Monday, November 24, 2008

Text Messages 1291-1320

1291. I know friendship is hard to keep but even if it gets harder, I wouldn't give up because even if it's hard to keep you, it will be a million times harder to find you again!

1292. All truth is good, but not all truth is good to say.

1293. Life is like the game of chess, one wrong move and your game is all messed up!

1294. What she says versus what she means... Says: Hindi ako galit. Means: Hayop ka! Says: Wait, 5 minutes na lang. Means: I'll be ready in 1 hour. Says: May suggestion ako. Means: Ito ang dapat! Says: Ang pangit ko ngayon no? Means: Sabihin mong maganda ako!

1295. What is LOVE? Some say it could conquer the world. Others say you will lose yourself, completely blind. But have you ever wondered what's behind those letters L.O.V.E.? I would say, it's a reminder. There's an L because man could not live without Love, there's an O for you wouldn't be able to spell your w_rld without it, there's V since you make yourself Vulnerable to things that they call moments, and E, to tell us the reason of our Existence.

1296. Take some time to smile when you're sad, to rest when you're tired, to love if you're feeling empty and to let go if you need to. Time endures, time heals. In this life, just take some time for yourself.

1297. Before a new chapter begins, the old one has to end. Tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need... Closing cycles, not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance but simply because that no longer fits your life. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. - Paulo Coehlo on Pragmatism

1298. A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

1299. The greatest revenge to a girl who steals your man is to let her have him, because a truly good man can never be stolen, right?

1300. An old couple saw an X-rated movie for the first time. In the middle of the movie, biglang tumayo si lola. Sinampal si lolo! Pak! 'Damuho ka! Tumanda na tayo, pwede palang kainin yun!'

1301. It's nice to wake up, and sleep again, di ba?! Good morning!! =)

1302. The secret of life is happiness. The secret of happiness is love. The secret of love is sacrifice. The secret of sacrifice is to obey your wife.

1303. Sa libro ng buhay, bawat kwento ay mahalaga. Bawat buklat, merong kakaiba. Pero alam mo ba kung anong pahina ang bumuo ng aking istorya? Yung kwento kung saan nakilala kita. ;)

1304. In my life, there are many problems I face. Sometimes too hard for me to handle and sometimes, I easily give up. Do you know what keeps my heart fighting? A piece of my life called friends!

1305. FYI: An average American man measures 5'9'. Pinoy average height is 5'4'. Humans are a little taller at night (quarter of an inch). Average size of American penis is 6 inches. Average Pinoy penis is 4 inches. Typical guy laughs 15x a day, cries 1.5x a month. An average guy sleeps 7.5 hours a night, 220000 hours sleep in his lifetime. A typical American guy has 14.5 sex partners in his life (excluding sex workers) Men enjoy sex 135x a year. Men can read small prints than women but has weaker location memory. 91% of men lie regularly.

1306. Take 60 seconds and pass this on to those you want God to bless, and don't forget to send it back to the one who asked God to bless you first. Father, God, bless all my friends and family in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day. May their life be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen.

1307. Love can never be wrong, sometimes, you blame the situation or even the person. But no matter who you blame, if it really wasn't the will of God, it just wouldn't be.

1308. I can never say how my life would go and how long I'd stay alive. All I know is that even we're miles apart, you'd always be one of the sweetest piece of puzzle completing my life.

1309. If you're not sure where you stand in someone's life, it's best to leave things behind so that if they drop you off, it will be easier to forget them. Don't waste time waiting for nothing when efforts are not recognized. It's best to just give things up. You've done your part, let them do theirs.

1310. To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.

1311. Blessed is the person who understands that the reason for praying is not to have what we want but to accept what God has given us. Good evening!

1312. In life, you are given certain chances, you have to make certain choices. A choice that may change your life. If given a chance, would you rather be wrong but happy? Or right but sad?

1313. May the arm of your angel hold you tight each day. May she light and guide you all the way. But if ever your angel is busy today, just tell me, ako ang magdu-duty. :)

1314. Ako lang ang makakapagpadugo ng ilong ni Manny Pacquiao! - English.

1315. It's a mistery why people still fall in love after a heartbreak and risk getting rejected and hurt all over again. I guess it's the dream of finding true love or simply because life is happier when you're in love.

1316. God has 5 gifts for you today: A key for every problem, a light for every shadow, a plan for every tomorrow, a joy for every sorrow and a new day full of blessings! Good day!

1317. You can close your eyes with the things you don't wanna see but you can never close your heart with the things you don't wanna feel.

1318. The easiest part was getting to know you. The hardest part was being away from you. The best part is when we're together.

1319. Wife: Honey, kapag hawak ko ang bote ng softdrinks na ito, naaalala ko ang ex-boyfriend ko. Husband: Eh ako, kelan mo ako naaalala? Wife: Kapag subo ko na ang straw.

1320. Walk this day with great confidence in your heart, for you have much to offer. A lot of people await the goodness and love that you carry within. Good morning and God bless!

continue reading Text Messages 1291-1320...

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Text Messages 1261-1290

1261. Tinkerbell speaks: They say that when you leave Neverland, you'd grow up and you'd meet different people who'd try and make you believe. Sometimes, you'd choose the prince. He'd take you to his castle, dance with you, but would allow you to leave when the clock strikes 12. Sometimes, you'd meet Spiderman, he'd give you the sweetest kiss and vanishes for all time. Sometimes, you'd find your Peter Pan, a guy who'd take care of you, and fly with you against the winds but then you'd notice that his heart still belongs to Wendy. So, I'll be like Princess Fiona. I'll find my Shrek, not perfect, but real and stays forever.

1262. Do you know what Christmas is? It's simple. Christ Has Risen In Spite The Most Adverse Sacrifices. Please pass to all your friends and spread the good news!

1263. Kaya ko din magpapayat. Wala lang ako sa mood.

1264. 1986 was a year of revolutions. It was the year when our people kicked out a dictatorship that stifled our freedom. It was the year the first lady president stepped into power. And it was the year when the Filipino people heard the powerful voice of Regine Velasquez!

1265. I know your life can go on without me, that you can be happy without me, that you can survive without me. But even if you turn me away, I will still stay with you and will always be your friend.

1266. You are the one person in this world that I would never trade with anyone else. You've given me memories so unique in you and what else?! Guess they'll never understand unless they get the chance to get to know you.

1267. Before, choices were always easy. I never had to choose between things that I liked and I liked more. But now, no matter which one I pick, it seems to be wrong and I always end up losing what I really wanted.

1268. Kapag sinaktan at ipinagpalit ka ng mahal mo at inimbitahan ka pa sa kasal nila, pumunta ka, hawakan mo ang kamay nya at ibulong mo, 'Sukob ang kasal mo!'

1269. Mahirap talagang lumimot ng taong ayaw mong kalimutan, mahirap saktan ang taong ayaw mong masaktan, mahirap maniwala sa ayaw mong paniwalaan, pero ang pinakamahirap sa lahat ay tinidorin ang sabaw!

1270. Everything that happened once may never happen again. But everything that happens twice will sure happen the third time. - Arab Proverb. Think about it.

1271. Boy: Uy, ang ganda ng ipin mo ha, parang exams. Tony: Huh? Baket naman? Boy: One seat apart!

1272. Enemies stab you in front, bitches stab you at the back. Jerks stab you at the heart but a true friend is sitting there with a knife, to stab those a*sholes right back!

1273. Man: Ne, anong pangalan mo? GRO: Paquita po! Man: Aba, antigo na yang pangalan mo. Bihira na ang may ganyang pangalan. Sino yung mga kasama mo? GRO: Yung nakaputi, si Pahipo. Yung nakapula, si Pahiga, at yung nakastripe, si Patuwad.

1274. A real friend not only goes out with you anywhere you go but also remembers you no matter how busy they are, who takes their time to say, 'Hi Friend'

1275. Sabi nila, ang panget daw, itinadhana para sa maganda at gwapo. Napaupo ako sa isang tabi... Badtrip! Ibig sabihin, para sa pangit ako?!

1276. Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone how much you love, how much you care. Because when they're gone, no matter how loud you shout and cry, they won't hear you anymore.

1277. Isang mabangis na pambanat! Guy: Miss, freezer ka ba? Girl: Bakit mo naman nasabi? Guy: Tinitigasan kasi ako sa iyo eh! Hehehe.

1278. Whenever you make me smile, I never miss to put it somewhere in my heart and if ever I find myself lonely, I would scan my heart to remind me of the times I felt important because of you. Take care!

1279. Want to hear a fairy tale? Once upon a time, Cinderella was so horny. So, she put Pinnochio's nose between her legs and shouted, 'Magsinungaling ka, bilis!' Hehehe.

1280. Use your lips for truth, your voice for kindness, your eyes for compassion, your hands for charity, your figure for uprightness, your heart for love and for anyone who doesn't like you, your middle finger! Hahaha!

1281. Masarap magmahal kung ikaw lang ang mahal nya. Masarap magmahal kung talagang seryoso sya. Pero wala nang mas sasarap pa kung sasabihin nya, 'Alam mo, kuntento na ko sayo...'

1282. Girlfriend: Mahal, ihatid mo ako. Boyfriend: Hindi pwede babe. Wala akong pera. Naoperahan ang lola ko, may sakit ang kapatid ko. Wala pang ipinapadala si mommy galing Japan. Girlfriend: Ayaw mo? Hindi ka makakascore sa akin, tandaan mo yan! Boyfriend: Ahahaha! Aba'y tingnan mo nga naman. May naipit pala na P500 sa bulsa ko! Tara babe, taxi tayo!

1283. It is better to die for something than to live for nothing.

1284. Alone? I'll be your shadow. Afraid? Stay behind me. Wanna cry? Here's my shoulder. Need a hug? I'll embrace you tightly and say, 'Whatever happens, you have me.'

1285. If I could freeze time, I'd freeze the moment we were together. There was so much I wanted to share, I wanted to say, but the one thing I wasn't able to tell was how much I wanted to stay.

1286. In life, there are four things you can't get back. The stone, after the throw. The word, after it is said. The action, after it is done, and the time, after it has passed. So be careful of what you throw, of what you speak, of what you do and of what you let pass by. Take care!

1287. Garfield's words of wisdom: 'We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more info in our heads. So, I'm not fat! I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold anymore so it started filling up the rest of me.'

1288. Boy: I saw her. Still pretty and she looks so happy. Girl: I saw him. I felt like crying but I won't let him notice that. Boy: I wonder if she's now taken, maybe, she is. Girl: I'm still single, can't seem to find someone who could take his place. Boy: I know she's angry. Girl: After all he's done, I couldn't get angry. Boy: I'm coward not to choose her. Girl: He was brave enough to choose the one he truly loves. Boy: I regret it. Girl: Wish he never left. Boy: I love her but it's too late, she doesn't love me anymore. Girl: I love him still but I should move on. =(

1289. You are part of the puzzle of someone else's life. You may never know where you fit, but others will fill the holes in their lives with pieces of you. So if you run out of reasons to live, remember that someone else's life may never be complete without you in it.

1290. Define love. According to the nurses and intelligent people, love is a sickness. Because everybody who gets it ends up in bed!

continue reading Text Messages 1261-1290...

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Text Messages 1231-1260

1231. For the ladies: You have to be very fond of men. Very, very fond. You have to be very fond of them to love them. Otherwise, they are simply unbearable. Hahaha!

1232. Loving has two phases. First: Loving the person because of who he/she is. Second: Loving the person despite who he/she is not. The first sparks love. The second one makes it last.

1233. It's not true that beer makes you fat. It actually makes you lean. Lean on walls, lean on doors and lean on to the person you love. Yun yun eh! Lasing lasingan, para-paraan!

1234. Magkukumpare, nag-iisip na sa pangalan ng magiging anak. Noel: Ipapangalan ko sa anak ko, Leon, baliktad ng Noel. Nino: Sa akin, Onin, baliktad ng Nino. Toto: Huwag nyo akong maisali-sali dyan sa usapan nyo, upakan ko kayo!

1235. Tulala na ako sa kakaisip sa iyo. Magdamag hindi makatulog sa kakahintay ng text mo. Sabog ako buong araw dahil wala ka sa tabi ko. Anong buhay ito? Addict ako sa iyo. Magkano ba ang isang gramo ng panahon mo?

1236. It is madness to hate all roses because you got scratched with one thorn, to give up on your dreams because one didn't come true, to lose faith in prayers because one was not answered, to give up on our efforts because one of them failed, to condemn all your friends because one betrayed you, not to believe in love because someone was unfaithful or didn't love you back, to throw away all your chances to be happy because you didn't succeed on the first attempt. I hope that as you go on your way, you don't give in nor give up!

1237. Hindi lahat ng bubuyog, kulay itim! - Jollibee.

1238. Pababayaan mo bang maging friends na lang ang turing mo sa kanya? Kahit na mahal mo sya? Huwag kang duwag! Itinulak mo pa sya sa iba, hindi mo alam, nasaktan sya. Bakit? Nasubsob kaya! Putok ang nguso. Magsorry ka!

1239. Q: Ano ang pagkakatulad ni Winnie the Pooh at John the Baptist? A: iisa ang ina nila. Kita mo, iisa ang middle name nila?!

1240. When you share your life with others, life begins to find its meaning. The time you touch the lives of others is the moment you are truly blessed.

1241. I began to make a step the moment I knew where I stand. Then I moved on.

1242. Life is pretty much unpredictable. I may not live long enough but I won't miss out letting you know that life is worth living with someone like you around.

1243. Try loving someone you've loved before and you'll realize that it will either lead to the same thing that happened before or something better. Not hard huh? But why not try loving someone who doesn't love you back? It's either you see yourself giving up or dying daily. - Grey's Anatomy.

1244. Problemado ka ba at walang panggimik? Ito ang sagot dyan! Just text NANAY PENGE PERA at isend sa number nya! Ang dali, hindi ba? May chance ka pang mamura!

1245. Dear God, we ask for Your divine mercy and protection as super typhoon approaches our nation. Seal our homes with your most precious blood. Amen.

1246. Have you experienced doing things that no matter what you do, you just can't? I have. I tried to drink up all the water from the drinking fountain, ang hirap pala! =)

1247. Kung nireject ka ng taong mahal mo, huwag kang umiyak. Lumaban ka! Isama mo ako at sabay nating sabihin: 'Kapangyarihan ng araw, taglay ay liwanag, kambal na lakas, kami ang Super Twins!'

1248. Life's a little ironic. We all want things to change, but once they do, we wonder why things can't go back to the way they were.

1249. Alam ko, friend mo lang ako, walang karapatang makialam sa desisyon mo, sa buhay mo. Pero huwag lang may makita akong luha sa mata mo! T*ngina, papatay ako! ng manok, para may pulutan tayo!

1250. You know what’s nice when having a hang-over? It’s when your head aches more than your heart.

1251. Trivia: Most people look at their right when recalling the truth and events that actually happened. People look to their left when creating or spinning out new versions of past events.

1252. Two words that contain millions of letters... 'Post Office' Tama ba?

1253. It is a scientific fact that 1 out of 3 people is ugly. Look at the person at your left and right. If they are good looking, you're in big trouble!

1254. It is better to be a human being dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied tha a fool satisfied. - John Stuart Mill

1255. Once in your life, you'll find a friend who's true to you (ako yun!) Kaya never take me for granted (dapat lang!) Never let me go (it's up to you!) Because if you lose me, you can never find me again! (ikaw din!)

1256. 12 priests to be ordained lined up with a tiny bell attached to their penis. A sexy nude girl danced before each of them. If the bell rings, no ordination. The first 11, no bell rang. At the last priest, his bell rang very loud and flew to the ground. He bent over to pick it up. All the other bells rang!

1257. The Philippines is where: Starbucks is more expensive than gasoline. Every street has a basketball court but every town has only one school. Students pay more than they will earn. Doctors go back to medical school to become nurses abroad. Everything is spoofed. Fastfood is a diet meal. Rodents are normal house pets. Soap opera is reality and news provide the dramas of life. Actors make the rules and politicians provide entertainment.

1258. Ang kaibigan ay parang ebak, mainit at malambot, mahirap tiisin, hindi mo magawang tapakan sapagkat madikit. Parang ikaw, hindi kita kayang tiisin at saktan. Have a nice day ebs!

1259. Many sincere people were desired for seeking happiness because they feel that it was “selfish” or “wrong”. Happiness is not a “payoff” or a “prize” but rather a natural accompaniment, the “being” or “acting”. though it may not coincide with others’ prejudices, this doesn't mean it’s wrong.

1260. Inrits your bocabolary: by Manny Pacquiao. Tactics - tunog ng orasan. Payt - laban para sa pinoy. Taytol - pamagat ng laban. Jengkeh - name ng dyowa nya?! No Peer - sponsor nya. Motor Kid - pag-ikot nya sa Maynila. Check-in - manok sa McDo. Corrupt - pagsara ng mata. Mura Less - nakalaban nya. Wit - Timbang. Wawawe - noontime show. Duet - gawin mo. L.A. - Leto Atsensya! Quotes - tawag nya kay Freddie Roach!

continue reading Text Messages 1231-1260...

Friday, November 21, 2008

Text Messages 1201-1230

1201. Dakakaidis talaga. Bay sipod da damad ako. Barado da damad ilog ko. Bahirap da damad batulog. O, bakit gadyad ka bagsalita? Bay sipod ka did? =)

1202. The leaves of trees just keep falling. Lesson? You can't always keep someone to yourself forever. Sometimes, you have to let go. Yet, you have to remain standing like trees do.

1203. Ang puso, napapagod din, napapagod maghintay, napapagod magtiis, napapagod magmahal at napapagod ding masaktan. Pagod ka na ba? Pahinga ka muna, hindi naman kailangan na magdamag ang romansa, ‘di ba?

1204. When I look at the sun, I see you! When I look at the moon, I see you! When I look at the sea, I see you. Well, get out of my way!

1205. Chinese: My leaders are like Great Wall Of China, old but still as strong as the brick in the wall. Singaporean: My leaders are like the many high rise buildings in Singapore, they bring our nation to greatest heights. Filipino: My leaders are like Taal Volcano, they've been around for a long time, doing nothing.

1206. To girls from cupid: A man's heart is as fragile as a butterfly's wing. Never hold it too tightly for in time, he will rest right on the palm of your hands.

1207. Reporter: Your eminence, meron ho ba tayong pag-asa na Pinoy ang susunod na Santo Papa? Cardinal Rosales: Meron. Kapag Comelec natin ang magbibilang ng mga balota!

1208. Man asks pet shop owner how much is parrot on the left. '$50,000 because he knows how to work Windows and Office.' How much is parrot on the right? '$80,000 because he knows how to make and administer a website.' How about the parrot on the middle? '$100,000, I don't know what he does but the other parrots call him boss.'

1209. If you walk 1000 miles away from God, you will only need one step backward to get to Him because He always follows you wherever you go and loves you whatever you do.

1210. When something is over, it can never start again. When it’s broken, you can never out back the pieces…life is not the way you want it to be, when you know that someone is hurting you so much, just stop! We know that it hurts a lot, but you must learn to let go. Don’t’ push yourself too hard, ‘coz we all know that in every ending, there’s such a thing that we call…beginning.

1211. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life, not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Good morning!

1212. Q: What’s the difference between bathing suits before and now? A: Before, you have to open the suit to see the butt. Now, you have to open the butt to see the suit!

1213. As the sky breaks into a beautiful sunrise, may God open the heaven to shower you lots of love, happiness and make your day a truly meaningful one. Good morning.

1214. Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll. Count the money in your pocket, and then, hati tayo! Wow!

1215. Sabi nila, kapag hindi ka raw mahal ng isang tao, huwag mo raw ipagpilitan ang sarili mo sa kanya. Sabi ko, 'Ah, ok!' =)

1216. True love covers the eyes to see no wrong. True love darkens reason to consider every situation. True love loves more when it hurts much. True love is still true even to the point of letting go. =(

1217. Still bothered by what happened yesterday? Sit down and relax. Gather yourself. No matter how bad yesterday was, it now belongs to the past. Don't let it worry you or stop you from pursuing many possibilities of today. Today is a gift you can unwrap and share with all that's why it is called present. Keep going!

1218. Sometimes, you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful. But they are the only way to find out who you really are.

1219. Akala ko, ang pinakamasakit ay ang magmahal ng taong hindi ka mahal. Hindi pala. Mas masakit pala yung alam na nyang may pigsa ka sa pwet, hinampas pa nya. It hurts you know, it hurts!

1220. I never knew how it is to love until I found you. I never knew how much I loved you until I lost you.

1221. Kapag nadapa ka, kapag nahulog ka, kapag natisod ka, kapag sumemplang ka, isa lang ang ibig sabihin nun. Patanga-tanga ka! Pero andito ako, sa likod mo, pinipigil ang tawa.

1222. Love is a two way street, it can't survive with only one person's love no matter how strong that love is.

1223. Quotes from Smallville: 'You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.' 'Ironic: The one you loved the most is the one who can hurt you the most.'

1224. Sorry kung medyo maiksi lang ang text ko ngayon. Ang totoo nyan, gusto ko talaga na bigyan ka ng pansin kasi baka kapag maiksi lang yung text ko, isipin mo na hindi ka importante sa akin, kaya lang, wala akong magagawa, kailangang iksian ko na lang muna yung text ko sa iyo. Hayaan mo, kapag hindi na ako busy, itetext kita ng mahaba. Sorry talaga, hindi ko na nga naitanong sa iyo kung kumusta ng buhay buhay mo, di ba? Next time talaga, mahaba na ang text ko sa iyo, hindi ko tuloy maipaliwanag yung side ko, di ba? Kaasar talaga ako. Sana, maintindihan mo kung bakit maiksi lang ang text ko. Thanks. Good evening!

1225. Hey! I'm selling original Lacoste t-shirt for only 100 pesos! Kaya lang, yung buwaya, nangangagat ng nipples! But don't worry, dinidilaan nya muna! =)

1226. Minsan, sa dami ng problema, gusto kong umiyak at tumakbo sa malayong malayo, kaso... as usual, tinatamad ako.

1227. If you're not curious, it's a sign that you are stupid. - Dr. Frank Crane

1228. Army: I'm going to buy my wife a bra but I don't know the size. Saleslady: Don't worry sir, just touch my breast and try to estimate. Army: Oh, I forgot! She needs panty too!

1229. We must value each precious moments: Mornings bring hope, afternoons bring faith, evenings bring love and nights bring sex. Sana, palaging gabi na lang no?

1230. Amo: Inday, ilipat ang comforter sa kwarto. Inday: Saan ko ilalagay koya? Amo: Ipatong mo lang sa kama. After 10 minutes. Inday: Andun na po. Isinama ko na rin ang frenter at scanner.

continue reading Text Messages 1201-1230...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Text Messages 1171-1200

1171. Heavy rains remind me of challenges in life. Never ask for lighter rain, just a better umbrella. Good day, enjoy life!

1172. Sa lahat lahat at sa dinami-rami ng taong nakilala ko... isa ka dun! :)

1173. Who's talking? During courtship, man talks, woman listens. Once married, wife talks, husband listens. After some years, both husband and wife talk, neighbors listen.

1174. I have a special sleeping arrangements for you. Bed of trust, pillow of care, bed sheet of understanding, blanket of peace and dreams of love. Good night!

1175. Loving many people all at the same time is like eating candies with different flavors. It's fun because you get to taste all of them. But once you are done, and when they are all gone, can you tell which candy was the sweetest? Stop fooling around. Learn how to let things go. Know that you cannot have everything! Stick with someone who makes you happy. You only get to live once. Get rid of the other candies and do yourself a favor, stay with the one you love most.

1176. Mornings are wonderful blessings. Either stormy or shiny, they stand for hope and give us another start of what we call 'life'. Enjoy your day!

1177. I believe in signs, serendipity, destiny, love at first sight, soul mates, eternal love, etchetera… kaya ito, amp***tah! Single pa rin!

1178. It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. - Andre Gide.

1179. Filipino class. Guro: Juan, magbigay ng pangungusap na may tayutay (figure of speech). Juan: Ahem... 'Ang tatay ay nadapa... Tayu, tay!' =)

1180. God said, 'If you don't feel pain, how would you know I'm a healer? If you don't feel sad, how would you know I'm a comforter? Child, if life is perfect, would you still know me?'

1181. What's meant to be will always find a way and if ever you've found that way, do something to make it happen, never let it go. Kasi, hindi lahat ng meant to be, nagiging reality.

1182. Even if you do things the right way, some would still be unsatisfied. Some will not appreciate what you say and what you do, and there would always be people who would let you down too. But for as long as you speak honestly from the heart, you'll be fine. This is not a perfect world. This is not a perfect life. Life is almost always unfair. But life loves the person who dares to live it.

1183. Apo: Lola, paano kung isang araw, umulan ng bayag? Lola: Naku apo, kulimlim pa lang ay hubo na ako! Hahaha!

1184. Wise man said: Watch your thoughts for they become words. Choose your words for they become actions. Understand your actions for they become habits. Study your habits for they will become your character. Develop your character, for it becomes your destiny. Have a great life with a destiny of your choice!

1185. Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white? Mom: Listen son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should be thankful that you are not barking.

1186. Ama: Bakit ka umiiyak? Anak: Pumasa po kasi ako sa test. Huhuhu! Ama: Aba, magaling! Anong subject yun, anak? Anak: Pregnancy test po itay!

1187. If only I had the power to turn back time... if only i could read your mind... Wala lang! Astig di ba? Tapos, marunong pa raw akong lumipad! Yeah! =)

1188. Choose to see goodness in everything around you, and you'll soon appreciate your life more. Choose to see the good side of every event, thing, or person in your life, and you'll never run out of blessings to count. Let love embrace your life as God loves you. Good morning!

1189. We are who we are. People don't change. - Estelle, Great Expectations.

1190. It is not how you build your dreams that makes you different but how high your faith in God can climb. It's not how many goals you've reached but how many lives you've touched. Good morning!

1191. Alam mo, naikwento kita sa puntod ni lola. Sabi ko, ikaw yung pinakamabait kong katext. Aba, akalain mo, sumagot. Hayaan mo apo, dadalawin ko sya ngayong gabi!

1192. Holdaper: Wallet mo o pasasabugin ko ang ulo mo? Juan: Pareho lang yan! Holdaper: Anong pareho? Juan: Parehong walang laman! Ano? Wallet ko o pasasabugin mo ang ulo ko? Ikaw din, sayang ang bala mo. =)

1193. Riiiiinnnnnng! Riiiiiiiiiiinnnnng! Kris: Banker? Salamat!

1194. In love, never put yourself on a situation where you're not sure where you stand in a person's life. Never assume, never expect, so that if they choose to drop you, you have enough strength to move on.

1195. Kapag naloko ka, huwag kang iiyak. Kapag iniwan ka, huwag kang hahabol. Kapag sinaktan ka, huwag kang magmamakaawa. Instead, be proud and say, 'Yes! available na ako!'

1196. Misis: Hoy animal! Sino itong Baby na nagtetext? Mister: Ah eh, kumpare ko yan. Lalaki yan, Baby lang ang palayaw. Misis: O, eto, replyan mo! Hindi raw kayo tuloy at may regla daw sya!

1197. We are like pencils, the best part in us is inside, we make marks as we touch other's lives. when we make mistakes, we can erase and we become better as we are sharpened.

1198. Ang buhay, parang sandwich. Minsan masarap, minsan matamis. Pero kapag ang buhay mo ay walang lasa, isipin mo na lang, ham yan!

1199. It's really hard when you know inside your heart that you love the person but you run out of reasons to fight for what you feel and believe in.

1200. Lalaki, umuwi at nakita ang asawa na nakasexy lingerie. Wife: Itali mo ako, tapos, gawin mo ang nais mo. Itinali ng lalaki ang asawa, tapos, nag DOTA sya!

continue reading Text Messages 1171-1200...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Text Messages 1141-1170

1141. You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind.

1142. Ang Power Rangers ay magigiting na mandirigma! Send this to 7 of your friends at magiging Power Ranger ka in 2 days! Walang halong biro! Power Ranger na ako eh.

1143. God indeed is a listening God. Sometimes, you don't need to shout or cry out loud because He hears even the very silent prayer of a sincere heart. God bless.

1144. I’m restless, I’m depress, I’m lonely, I’m sad and I'm getting crazy all for just two reasons: Narito ako sa gitna ng kagubatan, nag-iisa, tapos low bat pa ang cell ko! nakakabaliw, ‘di ba?!

1145. Forget mo na lang na nagkakilala tayo ha! Tutal, wala ka namang paki, di ba? Mas mabuti pang magkalimutan na lang tayo. Sawa na rin ako. Pero bago tayo magkalimutan, pwede bang hintayin muna nating maubos ang tubig sa dagat?

1146. Do you know this? Arrange this letter TDAILPSHUEDTRAOTL. 5 words. Clue: Mahal nyo ang isa't isa at walang pwedeng makaagaw. Note: Answer is TILL DEATH DO US PART.

1147. Sorry for not being the best, though I've tried. Sorry for not being perfect for you, though I did everything. Sorry for not being someone whom you want and expect me to be. Sorry! Si 'Kukote' lang ako eh!

1148. Hindi kita pinipilit na isipin ako, hindi ko rin sinasadyang istorbohin ka sa ginagawa mo. Huwag ka sanang magagalit kung makulit ako. Pero tanong ko lang, 'May regalo ka na ba sa akin sa Pasko?' =)

1149. Little things we give away surely comes back to us some other day, coz God never forget to give rewards to those who share their unselfish hearts. God bless you.

1150. Ang pagkakaibigan ay parang bulate sa puwet, hindi mo nakikita pero nadarama mo yung kiliti nito. Salamat ha, kasi, isa kang bulate sa pwet ko, ang kati mo dude!

1151. Goliat: Pareng Teban, nanalo ka raw sa raffle, isang sakong bigas. Eh, bakit lukot yang mukha mo? Teban: Nanalo nga pero isinaing na pagtanggap ko. Tulungan mo akong ubusin ito ha?!

1152. Daga1: Ako tapang! Kain ako Racumin! Daga2: Mas tapang ako, kain ako cheese with mouse trap. Daga3: Ako tapang sa lahat! Daga2: Bakit? Daga3: Nagsex kami ng pusa!

1153. Friendship isn't based on how many secrets you share, isn't how well you get along nor how much you like each other, isn't how people see you together. But it appreciates the differences, the gaps, the hindrances, the trials, and still, a friend looks at you, straight from the heart, without hatred, without judgement, without envy, without criticisms, only pure acceptance and respect.

1154. Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting. - Peter Pan

1155. Alam mo, miss na kita. Kaso, sya naman miss mo! Alam mo, mahal kita, kaso sya rin mahal mo! Siya na lang lagi!!! Kahit nasasaktan ka niya, ok lang kasi mahal mo sya! Ang tanga mo noh? Parang ako!

1156. Who knows what we live, and struggle, and die? Wise men write many books, in words too hard to understand. But this, the purpose of our lives, the end of all struggle,is beyond all human wisdom. - Allan Paton

1157. Why in couple photos men are on left side and women on the right? Because in life's balance sheet, assets are on right side and liabilities are on left.

1158. Today, I whisper a prayer for a dear one like you, for the best of health, a great mood, wisdom, understanding and beautiful disposition as you face a new day! God bless!

1159. Real person are not those who are always around you when everything is almost perfect. They are the ones who dig deep into the ground when you're down just to put you up and say, 'Everything's gonna be alright.'

1160. According to Mike Murdock's The Law of Recognition: Everything you need is already in your life, merely awaiting your recognition of it. Anything unrecognized remains uncelebrated by you. Anything you refuse to celebrate eventually exits in your life. A gift, a miracle, or a person.

1161. Friendship is not having to worry on what to say or to do or even what is seen in you. It's about being comfortable to be who you want to be and I'm glad that with you, I can be me.

1162. Nobody can ever make you feel average without your permission. Ingratitude and criticism are going to come; they are part of the price you pay for leaping past mediocrity. When you make your mark in life, you'll always attract erasers. Never surrender your dream to noisy negatives! - The Enemy Called Average

1163. If two people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean that they are meant for each other now - Dawson's Creek

1164. If fate favored you one day and you were asked what you wanted to be, don't wish to be someone else, because I tell you, you're wonderful the way you are! God bless.

1165. Pedro: May nasagot ka ba sa exam? Juan: Wala eh, blangko ang papel ko. Pedro: Ako din eh, walang laman ang papel ko. Blangko din! Juan: Patay tayo! Pedro: Bakit? Juan: Baka sabihin ni ma'am, nagkopyahan tayo!

1166. You can't claim to be good if you've never been tempted to be bad. You can't claim to be faithful if you've never had the opportunity to be unfaithful. Integrity is built by defeating temptation to be dishonest, humility grows when we refuse to be prideful and endurance develops everytime you reject the temptation to give up. Good morning!

1167. Masarap daw umibig. May honey, sweetie, gummy bears, cupcake, sugar at marshmallows pa! Hmm... masarap pala! Bakit may umiiyak pa?! Ahh.. siguro kasi, sumakit ang ngipin nila!

1168. May bagong commercial daw si Efren Reyes ngayon. Ang product nya, bagong toothpaste!

1169. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Good morning!

1170. Peace of mind is the greatest asset we can have for happy and healthy living. This is an inner victory which only comes from knowing God intimately.

continue reading Text Messages 1141-1170...

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Text Messages 1111-1140

1111. Lagi mong tatandaan na kahit ano man ang mangyari, nasa likuran mo lang ako parati. - puwet.

1112. Always smile. Our faces are the best billboards where the ads of life are seen. The Bible says, 'Why worry when the Lord is with you?' Have a blessed day!

1113. Lalake, nahulog sa septic tank, sumigaw, 'Sunog! Sunog!' Dumating ang bumbero, naligtas sya. Tinanong sya, 'Bakit sunog ang isinigaw mo?' Lalake: Kung ebak ba, pupunta ba kayo dito?

1114. I once asked my angel why when I think of the person I love, I cry. She told me: 'When dreams won't fit your eyes, they fall and become tears.'

1115. An elephant asked the camel, 'Is that your boobs on your back?' The camel laughed and replied, 'What a silly question from someone with a big penis on his face.'

1116. The bear and the two men. Two men were walking in a forest when they saw a bear. One immediately ran and climbed up a tree. The second man was slow and was left behind. So, the second man pretended to be dead. The bear then came, walked around him and smelled his head. Then the bear went away. When the bear was gone, his friend came down the tree and asked, 'What did the bear tell you?' He said, 'Don't trust someone who leaves you in time of need or trouble.' Hanep! Nagsasalita yung bear!

1117. B1: Tol, ikaw daw yung nagsabi na itsura ko, parang unggoy? B2: Huh? Bobo? Sabi ko, ang itsura ng unggoy, parang ikaw! B1: Ah, yun pala? Ayusin mo kasi para walang gulo!

1118. Sa buhay, madami kang makikilalang epal, may mga ungas na dadaan, may mga jologs na mang-iiwan. Pero ok lang, nandyan ka naman, isa sa mga balahura kong kaibigan na masasabi kong 'Oi, mahal ko yan!'

1119. Minsan ba, naranasan mo yung bigyan ka ng sobrang importansya ng isang tanga? Na halos kalimutan yung pagkatao nya para lang mapasaya ka? Ako, naranasan ko na yun. Problema lang, ako yung tanga! Hehehe.

1120. What makes coffee sweet? Sugar? Wrong. It is the stirring that you do after you add sugar. As in life, it is what you do with what you have that makes your life worth living.

1121. Let not other people become the source of your frustration. As a famous talk show host said, 'You don't have to prove anything to anyone. It's not your problem when they reject you, it's theirs! Only stuck up idiots would require you to please them.' Start your day right by kicking some ass! Keep banging dude!

1122. Pinilit kong huwag magtext dahil alam kong istorbo lang ako. Pero talagang hindi ko matiis na hindi ka kumustahin! Magalit ka na, pero miss lang talaga kita!

1123. Sometimes, you just can't take things back to the way they used to be, no matter how you try, regardless of how sorry you are. Because in life, there are no rewinds, only plays, so, play it right.

1124. Kapag bored ka na at wala ka nang mahanap na pwedeng gawin, magbukas ka ng zipper, ilagay mo ang kamay mo sa loob at ilabas mo ang libro sa bag mo! Magbasa ka!

1125. Breakfast advisory: Ang kape ay pampanerbyos samantalang ang gatas ay pampalakas. Kaya huwag uminom ng kapeng may gatas dahil ito ay pampalakas ng nerbyos. Gandang umaga!

1126. A sad story: There was a guy who was tired of reading his girlfriend's messages. They were always 'I miss you,' 'I love you'. One night while lying in a bed, he received a text message from her. He didn't read it, instead, he went to sleep. The next morning, he was awakened by a call from his girlfriend's mom. She was crying while telling him that his girlfriend was raped and killed just last night. He remembered he got a message from her and so he read it. 'Honey, please come and help me, somebody's following me.'

1127. Each of us are like butterflies with one wing. The only way we can fly is to hold each other and share wings. So, if you have no wings at all, it means, baka higad ka pre!

1128. Love may take long but it will always take you to where you belong. Just hold on and enjoy the journey. No need to hurry because your heart will know when it's finally home!

1129. I may not be a clock that can text you 24 hours a day but my heart will be like a clock that won't stop caring and saying, 'You're such a nice person I will always miss.'

1130. Beauty may only be skin deep but men aren't interested in what your bones look like. :)

1131. May 7 frogs sa 1 box. Sa box, may 23 pairs na pato and 1 pusa. Ang isang pato ay nakakain ng 56 na suso. Tapos, may 5 langgam. Relax, don't worry. Walang tanong, hi lang!

1132. I can't promise that I will not leave you. Sometimes, we need to say goodbye because we can't hold on to something till the end. But always remember, friends pa rin tayo kahit may asawa ka na?!

1133. I believe in everything, love at first sight, happy endings, destiny, fairy tales and even magic. Pero nasaktan ako, tama nga sila, ano? No words can ever define love, kundi 'katangahan'.

1134. I'm your friend but God is your bestfriend. You can cry to me but God can dry your tears. I love you but God loves you deeper. You can hold my hand but God can carry you better.

1135. Ku ka ki ka ka ku kata ke ko ku kika ki kuka ko kika. Kuko kiku kuki ka. Congratulations! You have successfully learned the monkey language! Come and claim your banana!

1136. It is so much easier to say that you don't love someone than try to explain to everyone all the reasons why you still do.

1137. Nang makita kita, parang ayaw kitang tawagin. Kasi, baka balewalain mo lang ako. Pero naisip ko, hindi porket sikat ka, hindi na kita pwedeng makausap. Kaya tinawag kita, 'Bakekang, Bakekang! Papirma naman!'

1138. Nurse: Doc, bakit tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente? Doc: Alin, yung bakla? Nurse: Opo. Baka sabihin, namimili tayo, porke't bading sya. Doc: Ano naman ang raraspahin ko sa kanya?!

1139. Be grateful that you don't have everything you want. That means you have the opportunity to be happier tomorrow than you are today. Sleep sweetly. Good night!

1140. Life is a song we play each day. Every mistake we make in life puts the song out of tune, but keep on trying. One day, every melody will come to its tune. Good evening!

continue reading Text Messages 1111-1140...

Monday, November 17, 2008

Text Messages 1081-1110

1081. I thought you're just one of the many acquiantances I'd meet through out life but knowing you slowly became a pleasant surprise. Now I understand what they mean when they say blessing in disguise.

1082. I ikspik that it will be a long payt, a good payt. But you know, I didn't ikspik. Tinks por da God, you know, and tinks por ol da pelepeno pipol! - Manny Pacquiao.

1083. 50 years from now, I'd be so old, I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might... But I won't.

1084. Teacher: You've been absent with the same excuse. Your lolo died 4 times in 4 months! Now, what is your excuse? Student: My lola is getting married to my 5th lolo!

1085. The loveliest day comes when you wake up one morning and discover the romantic truth that God still colors your world despite all the trials you encounter. Good morning!

1086. IQ Test: A farmer has 12 cows and 5 pigs. One day, he went to the market with 2 cows and 3 pigs not knowing that 6 cows followed him on the way. The question is, will he... Revillame?

1087. Kung mahal mo ang isang tao, hindi mo sya hahayaang mawala sa iyo. Hindi sasaktan, hindi paglalaruan, hindi paaasahin, hindi babalewalain kundi iingatan at ipaglalaban. At higit sa lahat, hindi mo papalitan!

1088. Always remember that every minute that you spend angry is 60 seconds wasted of happiness. So, don't frown, smile. Don't cry, laugh. And don't hate, just love. Parang andali no?

1089. Measuring life by what others do to you may disappoint you. But measuring life by what you do for others will add more meaning to your life. Good morning!

1090. Doctor talking to moms: Mahilig ka sa sweets, so you named her Candy. Mahilig ka sa pera, so you named her Penny. Third mom, tumayo. 'Let's go Dick, bago tayo mainsulto dito!'

1091. Nobody teaches a fish to swim, or a squirrel to run and climb a limb. Nobody teaches an owl to say 'whoo'. Nobody teaches a cat to say 'meow.' Kasi, wala silang teacher.

1092. Ang tawag sa message na ito ay wrong send kaya huwag mo nang basahin kasi hindi ito para sa iyo. Hindi nga ito para sa iyo, huwag kang makulit. Bahala ka. Happy birthday! Kita mo? Birthday mo ba?!

1093. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako ganito. Hindi ko alam kung anong ginawa mo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ikaw ang pinili ko. Pero ito lang ang alam kong totoo. Ikaw lang ang pinahalagahan ko ng ganito!

1094. Real beauty is not based on physical features but in the heart. Yan ang motto ng mga pangit! Ito ang sa atin... With good looks comes great responsibility! Good morning!

1095. Sa isang kumbento, may naghagis ng ti** ng kabayo. Nagkagulo, nagsigawan at nag-iyakan ang mga madre sabay sabing, 'Huhuhu, mga sisters, patay na si father!'

1096. Man marries mute girl, he says, 'We must work out a code. If I want sex, I'll stroke your left breast. Reply by pulling my peni$. Once for YES, and 150 times for NO.'

1097. Pucha! Kaaway ng Acho! Chet! :)

1098. Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in life. If God allow us to go thru life without obstacles, we would not be as strong as what we could have been. Good day!

1099. In life, you may feel tired of fighting for the same reason everyday. You may feel that everyone is moving so fast leaving you far behind and you may feel that there is no point of moving on. There's no certainty in life. It's not how fast you get there. It's on how you played the game. Put in mind that at times it is better to be like a turtle who patiently moves and enjoys every step of the way rather than a rabbit who runs so fast and missing every simple single detail in life. Good morning!

1100. 10 biggest brain damaging habits: 1. No breakfast. 2. Overeating. 3. Smoking. 4. High sugar consumption. 5. Air pollution. 6. Sleep deprivatio. 7. Head covered while sleeping. 8. Working your brain during illness. 9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts. 10. Talking rarely.

1101. Why was white chocolate invented? So little black kids could have dirty faces too.

1102. Minsan, pakiramdam ko, wala na akong ginawang tama. Lahat may mali. Lahat may puna. Pero kapag naiisip kita, masaya na ako dahil sa dinami-dami ng katangahang nagawa ko, at least, sa pagpili ng kaibigan ko, tumama ako!

1103. Kung kasalanan maging masarap, kung kasalanan maging kaakit-akit, 'I'm sorry.' :)

1104. Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. Good morning!

1105. Nainis din ako nung nabasa ko ito...

1106. Confucious says: Choose a woman with small hands. So when she holds your peni$, it will look big!

1107. Bitoy: Dagul, bakit ang pandak mo? Dagul: Kasi, bata pa lang ako, ulila na ako. Bitoy: Anong kaugnayan nun sa pagiging pandak mo? Dagul: Sira pala ulo mo! Wala ngang nagpalaki sa akin!

1108. Prof: Meron bang tanga dito sa klase? Kung meron, tumayo! (May tumayong estudyante.) Prof: Tanga ka ba? Estudyante: Naawa lang ako sa iyo sir. Ikaw lang ang nakatayo eh, samahan na kita.

1109. What is the most sensitive part of the body while having sex? Answer: Ears! Why? Because it can easily hear foot steps coming. =)

1110. Isa ka sa mga taong malapit sa puso ko. Pero tulad nila, bihira ka lang makaalala. Pero di ako nalulungkot, kasi, hindi ka man magparamdam, alam kong nandyan ka lang, nangungulangot!

continue reading Text Messages 1081-1110...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Text Messages 1051-1080

1051. Girl: Hayop ka! Pagkatapos mong ipasubo at ipablow sa akin, ipuputok mo pa sa mukha ko! Boy: Sorry, hindi ko napigilan eh. Girl: Sige, bili ka ulit ng plastic balloon! Ano isip mo? :)

1052. I’m sure that someday, somehow, before God closes my book of life, He’ll surely give me time to scan it but I won’t wait for that time to say… thanks for being a page in mine. Good morning!

1053. What's the difference between small peni$ and big peni$? Answer: Big penis: Ah, ah, ah, ah! Small penis: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

1054. Ngayong valentine's day: Blue roses for lovers, white chocolates for crushes, pink balloons for friendships. Most of all, for loveless, red... Redhorse!

1055. No one is born happy, but all of us are born with the ability to create happiness. Just remember, happiness is a state of mind and it depends on ones attitude towards life, not on what one has.

1056. I wish you wake up this morning realizing what a wonderful person you are and the world is blessed to have you as a part of it. Enjoy life! Good morning!

1057. Dear God, you've given me valuable hours each day. May I use a few seconds to say thank you for giving me the gift of knowing someone as nice as the one reading this. Good morning!

1058. Man is the highest form of animal. He is made to be above all except God. So, no matter how high EAGLES soar, how FALCONS attack, how BULLDOGS bare, how agressive TIGERS are, how fast TAMARAWS run, they will always succumb to that one GREEN ARCHER, standing with his bow and arrow aimed to fire! What about the WARRIOR? The GREEN ARCHER just made a bull's eye! Animo La Salle!!! - reflection ni Inday sa UAAP Finals. Lasallista kasi ang anak ng amo nya!

1059. It hurts to let go of someone for a reason you can't explain but it would hurt even more if one day, you will cross paths again and you realize you're in love with that person and wishing you didn't give up.

1060. Through out the years of your life you’ll face many challenges, remember that you climb the highest mountain, drive through the roughest storm, soar across the bluest sky, or even sail across the roughest waters. It’s only destined by your attitude where you’ll end up in life. The most important thing is don’t let your self get lost in the crowd. – Angela Duvall

1061. Pasahero: Mama, dahan-dahan lang po. Alalahanin n’yo na palaging nakasunod sa atin ang disgrasya! Mamang driver: e, kaya ko nga binibilisan para ‘di tayo maabutan!

1062. Life is like the ocean, now troubled, later calm. Full of trials, filled with tests. But even how big the waves are, and no matter how high the tide is, always remember that, 'Tide is mirakol!' Good night!

1063. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his/her own happiness without expecting him/her to come back.

1064. Sex tayo? Sabi kagabi ng lalaking butiki nang makita nya ang isang babaeng butiki. Babae: Hindi pwede! Lalake: Bakit naman? Babae: Baliw ka ba? Titihaya ako, malalaglag tayo. Tanga neto!

1065. Minsan, nakukuha kong tumawa kahit malungkot. Nakukuha kong magbago kahit sobrang hirap. Nakukuha kong ngumiti sa mga problema. Lahat yata, makakaya ko, huwag lang yung kalimutan ako ng nagbabasa nito.

1066. Noon. Anak: Gusto ko na pong magbuntis. Nanay: Hindi pwede anak, kailangang mag-asawa ka muna bago ka magbuntis. Ngayon: Anak: Gusto ko na pong mag-asawa. Nanay: Bakit, buntis ka na ba?

1067. Hindi ako umaasang maging isang mahalagang tao sa iyong buhay ngunit umaasa ako na balang araw, marinig mo ang pangalan ko, nangingiti ka't sasabihin mong 'Cute yan sa personal!'

1068. Lungkot no? Hiwa-hiwalay na tayo. Iba na nakakasama natin. Sa landas na tatahakin ko, isa lang hinihiling ko, na sana, sa dulo ng pupuntahan ko, magkita-kita pa rin tayo. Miss you!

1069. Patient: Dok, bakit ang tae ko may kasamang plema? Kinakabahan tuloy ako. Dok: ok lang ‘yan. Mas delikado kung pagsinga mo ay may kasamang tae.

1070. True friend scold like a dad, cares like a mom, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother and finally…Loves you more than a lover. Morning! :)

1071. Prayer is the most powerful weapon against downfall, the most effective medicine against sickness and the most valuable gift to someone we care. God bless.

1072. True bonding is not measured by the time spent together or the favors done for each other but by the comfort you find when you realized that you care for each other.

1073. Hell is living with someone you despise so much. No punishment is more morbid than to live eternally in the presence of those you detest. - Sartre

1074. It is really painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but it is even more painful to ask the person to stay even if you can never make it work out the way it should be.

1075. Kapag umutot ang Amerikano, 'Excuse me.' European, 'Pardon me.' Spanish, 'Dispensa amigo.' E kapag Filipino? 'T*ng ina! Hindi ako yun! Mamatay na ang umutot! Denying ka talaga!'

1076. If you love someone, set them free. If they come back again, set them on fire. Punyeta, pagkatapos nyang magpakasawa sa iba, ikaw naman? Sunugin!

1077. Darating ang panahon, mamamatay tayong lahat, pupunta tayo sa langit, di ba? Sino ang unang papasukin? Ikaw? Ako? Sila? syempre, sila! Kasi, mag-iinuman pa tayo, despedida muna!

1078. Imagine life without girls. Phones silent, malls empty, no valentines, no cosmetics, no flowers, no noise, at mamamatay sa tuwa ang mga bakla! Bruhahaha!

1079. An empty stomach needs food, an empty brain needs knowledge, an empty house needs a family, and an empty heart needs love. But then, an empty life needs a friend, thanks for filling in.

1080. Be patient when God does not give you what you want. He knows the best time for you to have it. Just remember that you can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.

continue reading Text Messages 1051-1080...

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Text Messages 1021-1050

1021. There is always one thing to be thankful for every morning. That is being able to open our eyes and see the beauty of being alive under God's grace. Good morning!

1022. A prayer can go where I can't go. Thru prayer, I can be with whom I care without being there. I may not see you, but I'm sure you're ok! Coz that's what I prayed.

1023. Life is like music. It has high notes and low notes. No matter how high or low your notes may be, keep in tune with God and you'll never go out of tune in the music of life. Good morning!

1024. When you are running after the person you love and you're too busy to notice me running after you, don't mind me. But when you stumble and fall, take my hand and let me be the one to help you get up again.

1025. Malungkot ka ba? Naiiyak? Natutulala? Ganyan talaga kapag matigas ang tae mo! Konting tiis lang, mapuputol din yan!

1026. As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break. Now is not the time for me to be strong, or, I too, will break.

1027. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

1028. Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt so empty for no reason? Have you ever felt so down but you just can't tell why? Have you ever felt like the world suddenly spins around you, and you are caught in the middle going nowhere? Weird, isn't it? But that's the beauty of being human... it is knowing that there is a purpose for each existence, and whatever that may be, it is also the reason why we still wake up breathing each morning, to discover that missing piece of puzzle that would make our lives complete. Have a nice sleep!

1029. Mistakes make you think. They make you realize what you had, what you've lost and what you've taken for granted. They make you realize that sometimes, there are no next times, no time outs and no second chances.

1030. Minsan sa buhay, takot tayong harapin ang katotohanan kasi, madalas nasasaktan tayo. Ako? Sa ngayon, isa lang ang kinatatakutan ko. Alam mo kung ano? Secret! Baka takutin mo ako eh!

1031. Man1: Anong pulutan nyo kahapon sa birthday mo? Man2: Pata! Man1: Wow! Anong klaseng pata? Man2: Pata-galan ng kwento! Walang pera eh. =)

1032. The purpose of relationships is not to have someone who might complete you, but to have someone whom yo might share your incompleteness with you!

1033. If you are an animal, what would you be? A rabbit or a snail? Rabbits are the most sexually active animals and can have sex many times in a day. Snails live 80 years and will have sex only once in their lifetime, but the orgasm lasts for 18 hours. Would you go for quantity or quality? Ahehehe, choosy ka pa?!

1034. Friendship? Para daw grade sa Math. Mahirap abutin, pinaghihirapan. Minsan pasado, kadalasan, bagsak. Ako? Hindi ako magaling sa Math! Pero para sa iyo, handa akong mangopya sa katabi ko.

1035. If you're upset with someone, put yourself in his shoes and walk a mile. So, when he gets mad, you're a mile away na, you have his shoes pa!

1036. We wake up each morning feeling happy, healthy and at peace, knowing that these are blessings more precious than wealth. May God's abundant blessings be to you today!

1037. Pinapaikot mo na lang ako palagi. Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti't patayin mo na lang ako! - Electric Fan.

1038. 'Alam mo, balang araw, magiging presidente yang si mayor. Itataya ko itong p*ki ko!' - Cherry Pie Picache in Twilight Dancers.

1039. Man: God, how long is a million years to you? God: A second. Man: How much is $ 1 Million to you? God: A cent. Man: Can I borrow a cent? God: Wait a second. =)

1040. Everything that God allows to come our way was with a purpose. He uses even the greatest error and deepest hurt to mold us into a person of worth and value.

1041. I know your life goes on without me, that you can be happy without me, that you can enjoy life. But even if you've forgotten me, I will still choose to be there for you and be your nicest stranger forever. Take care!

1042. To those who see with loving eyes, life is beautiful. To those who speak with a tender voice, life is peaceful. To those who help with gentle hands, life is full. And to those who care with compassionate hearts, life is good beyond all measure. Have a nice day!

1043. Sa isang mumurahing airline. Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner? Passenger: Ano ba ang choices? Stewardess: Yes or no lang po!

1044. Pinaglihi ka ba sa keyboard? Kasi type kita.

1045. There was an accident that had just happened in the street. A woman approached the victims and tried to help them, but suddenly a nursing student came in and said, 'Miss, excuse me, please step back. I've had a course in first aid and I'm trained in CPR!' The woman stepped aside, and watched the procedures for a few moments, then tapped the student on the shoulder and said, 'When you are through, if ever you'll need a doctor, nandito lang ako.' Wahaha! Umepal pa kasi!

1046. Always remember two things in life: 'Don't take any decisions when you are angry and don't make any promises when you are happy.'

1047. Nangumpisal si Kulas sa mga kasalanang nagawa nya. Pari: Anak, hindi ka patatawarin. Kulas: Ha? Bakit father? Pari: Kasi, may kasalanan ka pa na hindi mo pa binabanggit. Kulas: Ano po yun father? Pari: Ikaw ba ang kumuha ng perang donasyon sa altar? Kulas: Ano po father? Pari: Ikaw ba ang kumuha ng donasyon sa may altar? Kulas: Hindi ko talaga marinig, father. Gusto mo, palit tayo ng pwesto? Nagpalit sila ng pwesto. Pari: Sige, magtanong ka. Kulas: Ikaw ba ang nakabuntis kay Ana na labandera? Pari: Ay, totoo nga, hindi ko nga marinig dito!

1048. Guys, please don't vote for Joker, kasi, kaaway ko sya. Thanks! - Batman.

1049. No matter how serious life gets, you will consequently need the company of people whom you can completely be stupid with. Thanks for being stupid at times! Mwahahaha!

1050. Miss, alam mo bang exam ako? Kaya sagutin mo na ako.

continue reading Text Messages 1021-1050...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Text Messages 991-1020

991. May mga taong hindi mo maintindihan. Akala mo, makulit, mabait pala. Akala mo, wala lang, caring pala. Akala mo rude, sweet pala. Mukhang ikaw, no? Pero ako pala. Hehehe.

992. Minsan, sa buhay ko, nagmahal ako at niloko. Ngayon, bumabalik sya. Well, akala nya, mahal ko pa sya?! Marunong din akong maglaro noh! Leche sya. Ako ang hinamon nya? Pagsabay-sabayin ko pa sila.

993. Elementary life: Todo aral, no syota, puro laro. High School life: Konting aral, patagong syota, bawas laro. College life: Walang aral, sabay-sabay syota, iba na ang laro.

994. A special kaibigan is hard to hanap, hirap to lose and impossible to limot. True friends are never hiwalay, maybe I'm layo, but in puso, hindi kita forget, pangako! :)

995. Sexy: Doc, paano ko malalaman na sex maniac nga ako? Doctor: Meron tayong gagawing mga test, iha, pero bago ang lahat, bitiwan mo muna ang itlog ko, please!

996. 'Tepung terigu, kepingan coklat gula minyak nabati, bubuk coklat garam pengembang lemak jenuh berdasarkan.' - Huwag kang mag-alala, hindi sumpa yan, sangkap lang ng Chips Ahoy galing Malaysia. :)

997. It's better to love in just one minute and treasure it for a lifetime than to love for a lifetime and hate it every minute of your life. Happy Valentine's Day!

998. A relationship between two persons is like a house. When a light bulb burns out, you do not go and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb!

999. Umiiyak ang isang zoo worker, itinanong ko kung bakit. Sagot nya, 'Namatay kasi ang elepante.' 'Mahal na mahal mo yung elepante?''Hindi naman po, ako lang ang nautusang maghukay ng libingan nya!'

1000. The path you walk in life is unique, no one walks the road better than yourself for you alone rule your own destiny, so continue doing your best and stay happy.

1001. Guro: Anong meron sa Pangasinan? Jinggoy: Hundred Islands! Guro: Sa Albay? Bong: Bulkang Mayon! Guro: Eh sa Banaue? Lito Lapid: Uhm, Kwan po ma'am, car accessories! =)

1002. Noong isang gabi, sumakay ako sa dyip. Nagtataka ako kung bakit lahat sila, nakatingin sa akin. Ayaw nilang kumibo. Nakatitig lang sila sa akin. May isang naglakas ng loob at sinabi: 'Iho, inarkila namin ito!'

1003. Character is made by what you stand for; reputation by what you fall for. - Robert Quillen.

1004. Friendship has no vows, no rituals, it only needs people who are willing enough to care and make friendship a lifetime promise. I hope we will.

1005. Bakit ba binabase ang buhay sa horoscope, hula at bahala? Nakalimutan mo yata na pwedeng baguhin ang nakatakda at itinadhana. Sa Red Horse ka maniwala dahil ito ang tama!

1006. It could take a thousand workers to build a castle, a million soldiers to protect its country, but it only takes one man to build a happy home.

1007. Cute face catches the eyes, but good personality catches the heart. You are blessed because you have them both! Oh, huwag dibdibin! Sa akin ipinadala yan, pinabasa ko lang sa yo.

1008. Bakla: Papa, finger mo naman ako sa pwet. Bf: Ok! Bakla: Deeper, papa! Bf: Uhm! (inserts whole hand and pulls out a Rolex) Ano ito?! Bakla: Surprise! Happy birthday!

1009. Isang lalaki ang na-admit sa St. Luke's, sunog ang dalawang hita. Doctor: Nurse, idextrose mo, tapos antibiotic, burn cream at Viagra every 4 hours. Nurse: Viagra doc? Doctor: Para hindi sumayad yung kumot sa sugat. =)

1010. Beauty pageant. Judge: What if you found out your boyfriend has AIDS, what will you do? Contestant: I'll still love him. (Everybody claps).. Because AIDS doesn't matter! Hirit pa kasi eh.

1011. Marie: I've got to get birth control pills. I can't afford to get pregnant! Susan: I thought your husband had a vasectomy. Marie: That's why I must not get pregnant!

1012. He came to me one night... explored my body... licked, sucked, swallowed and had his fill... when satisfied he left... I was hurt... damn mosquito!

1013. Do you have the looks? Do you have the charm? Let us see if you have what it takes to be the first Mr. and Ms. Undas 2006. Sali ka na, dali!

1014. Lito Lapid: Why did you write me such a long speech? The people were bored. Secretary: Sir, I gave you a 20-minute speech, plus the two duplicate copies you wanted.

1015. Pretending you don't feel anything for someone is like convincing yourself that you could probably deny the only thing you can be sure of.

1016. Bakit daw ang utak nasa ulo at ang puso ay nasa dibdib? Simple lang, pangit kasing tingnan kapag inlove ka eh tumitibok ang noo mo at ang laswa naman na kapag nag-iisip ka eh hinihimas mo ang dede mo! Ano kaya yun? Ampanget!

1017. What is love? Those who don't like it call it responsibility. Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. And those who understand it call it life.

1018. It's not wrong to give it all when you love. It's not wrong to love a person so much. Sometimes, the only wrong thing is the person we love.

1019. Q: May 10 inggitera, nagpakamatay ang isa, ilan ang natira? A: Eh di wala, kasi lahat nainggit, gumaya tuloy!

1020. Hearts are easily torn but can also be sewn together by someone who cares. Though the scars won't fade, the stitches will always be there to remind you that someone loves you enough to keep you whole again.

continue reading Text Messages 991-1020...

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