Monday, December 22, 2008

text messages 1891-1920

1891. The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize. - Nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

1892. Anak: Itay, ano ba ang birdflu? Kasi, maraming nabibiktima ng birdflu. Ama: Kaya nga kita pinag-aaral para matuto ka eh. Ang birdflu ay past tense ng bird fly.

1893. Walang pinipili ang pag-ibig, kahit mahirap ka pa o mayaman. Pero paano kung minahal ka ng isang mahirap at isang mayaman, sino ang pipiliin mo? The one who has everything or the one who has nothing but willing to give everything?

1894. Love is patient and kind. It is not conceited and selfish. Love never gives up and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Happy Valentines!

1895. You may have someone in your heart and in your mind, you may have someone in your dreams and someone in your life but I am your someone when you have no one.

1896. Piolo: Wow! Ang ganda nung chicks! Diether: Sexy pa! Grabe! Ang puti! Robin Padilla: Sino? Yung nakatube? Kilala ko yan! Teka, tatawagin ko ha? Psst! Kuya Rustom!

1897. Vine tea. Do you want to know about vine tea? What is vine tea? Vine tea is actually the sukli when you have 50 pesos pag nagload ka ng 30.

1898. Sometimes, the risk of letting go is the only incredible thing one could do to know who's willing enough to look stupid just to come back.

1899. According to Science, man came from monkeys. I beg to disagree. Bakit ikaw, mukhang kabayo?!

1900. Kadalasan, ibinabase ng mga girls sa hitsura kung mamahalin ang isang guy. Pero hindi dapat ganun! Hindi naman sa mukha nakikita yun eh. Kundi sa loob. Sa loob ng brief! Yun yun eh! Hahaha!

1901. If you're shopping for a happy ending and you couldn't find one, buy a new beginning instead.

1902. You're the perfect person that I know, so sweet, so nice, always on my mind. So cute pa and very special but there's something wrong. Wrong send ako! Hahaha!

1903. Be very careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior of, but from the side to be equal with. Under the arms to be protected for and next to the heart to be loved.

1904. Common between the sun and panty: both are hot, both look better while going down, both disappear by night!

1905. Two dillema's that rattle my mind: How do I get rid of someone who won't go and how do I hang on to someone who won't stay. Sakit sa ulo!

1906. Panakip butas mo lang pala ako! - Panty.

1907. Some friends forget. Some move away. Some keep silent. Some just change. But I'm not one of them. I'm just here, medyo busy nga lang. You know naman, daming shooting. :)

1908. There are 73 billion people in this world. So why should I be sad without you? Well, because 72 billion, 999 million, 999 thousand, 999 people can't be you!

1909. How can you tell when a politician is lying to you? When his lips move! =)

1910. It is hard to love someone who can never be yours. Time would give you chances to talk, chances to be together, chances to share. See how it hurts? You only have chances. Just chances!

1911. Let instruction and knowledge mean more to you than silver or finest gold. Wisdom is worth more than precious jewels or anything else you desire. Good day!

1912. Rowing hard doesn't help if the boat is heading the wrong direction. Entrust your life to God and let Him steer it according to His plan and purpose.

1913. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

1914. How to know if you are normal: 1. You have a Friendster account. 2. You have a cellphone. 3. You watch MTV. 4. You are fully aware of adult stuff. 6. You register to unlimited texting. 7. You sleep late. 9. You were so busy you forgot to read number 5. 10. You actually scrolled up to see if there's a number 5. Don't worry, wala ding number 8. 11. Then, slowly you smile, and you realize that you are normal! =)

1915. A toy, a leaf. A toy, a leaf... A toy a leafin mo kahit hindi batid. Aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid!

1916. He slept the summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonders, he took my childhood in stride, but he was gone when autumn came. - Les Miserables.

1917. When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves you. And it doesn't mean that they are bad persons, it just means that their part in the story is over.

1918. Never let guys hurt you. We women are the planet's pride, so when a guy hurts you, stand tall and proudly say, 'Sa ganda kong ito, excuse me, get out of my way! Next please!'

1919. Stay humble, be faithful, offer hope, work diligently, fight fairly, live simply, love deeply, give generously, they say, 'Bwisit! Kaya ko ba toh?' :)

1920. A true friend is like the shade of a great tree in the noonday heat. Para kang puno ng kampupot.

continue reading text messages 1891-1920...

text messages 1891-1920

1891. The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize. - Nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

1892. Anak: Itay, ano ba ang birdflu? Kasi, maraming nabibiktima ng birdflu. Ama: Kaya nga kita pinag-aaral para matuto ka eh. Ang birdflu ay past tense ng bird fly.

1893. Walang pinipili ang pag-ibig, kahit mahirap ka pa o mayaman. Pero paano kung minahal ka ng isang mahirap at isang mayaman, sino ang pipiliin mo? The one who has everything or the one who has nothing but willing to give everything?

1894. Love is patient and kind. It is not conceited and selfish. Love never gives up and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Happy Valentines!

1895. You may have someone in your heart and in your mind, you may have someone in your dreams and someone in your life but I am your someone when you have no one.

1896. Piolo: Wow! Ang ganda nung chicks! Diether: Sexy pa! Grabe! Ang puti! Robin Padilla: Sino? Yung nakatube? Kilala ko yan! Teka, tatawagin ko ha? Psst! Kuya Rustom!

1897. Vine tea. Do you want to know about vine tea? What is vine tea? Vine tea is actually the sukli when you have 50 pesos pag nagload ka ng 30.

1898. Sometimes, the risk of letting go is the only incredible thing one could do to know who's willing enough to look stupid just to come back.

1899. According to Science, man came from monkeys. I beg to disagree. Bakit ikaw, mukhang kabayo?!

1900. Kadalasan, ibinabase ng mga girls sa hitsura kung mamahalin ang isang guy. Pero hindi dapat ganun! Hindi naman sa mukha nakikita yun eh. Kundi sa loob. Sa loob ng brief! Yun yun eh! Hahaha!

1901. If you're shopping for a happy ending and you couldn't find one, buy a new beginning instead.

1902. You're the perfect person that I know, so sweet, so nice, always on my mind. So cute pa and very special but there's something wrong. Wrong send ako! Hahaha!

1903. Be very careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior of, but from the side to be equal with. Under the arms to be protected for and next to the heart to be loved.

1904. Common between the sun and panty: both are hot, both look better while going down, both disappear by night!

1905. Two dillema's that rattle my mind: How do I get rid of someone who won't go and how do I hang on to someone who won't stay. Sakit sa ulo!

1906. Panakip butas mo lang pala ako! - Panty.

1907. Some friends forget. Some move away. Some keep silent. Some just change. But I'm not one of them. I'm just here, medyo busy nga lang. You know naman, daming shooting. :)

1908. There are 73 billion people in this world. So why should I be sad without you? Well, because 72 billion, 999 million, 999 thousand, 999 people can't be you!

1909. How can you tell when a politician is lying to you? When his lips move! =)

1910. It is hard to love someone who can never be yours. Time would give you chances to talk, chances to be together, chances to share. See how it hurts? You only have chances. Just chances!

1911. Let instruction and knowledge mean more to you than silver or finest gold. Wisdom is worth more than precious jewels or anything else you desire. Good day!

1912. Rowing hard doesn't help if the boat is heading the wrong direction. Entrust your life to God and let Him steer it according to His plan and purpose.

1913. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

1914. How to know if you are normal: 1. You have a Friendster account. 2. You have a cellphone. 3. You watch MTV. 4. You are fully aware of adult stuff. 6. You register to unlimited texting. 7. You sleep late. 9. You were so busy you forgot to read number 5. 10. You actually scrolled up to see if there's a number 5. Don't worry, wala ding number 8. 11. Then, slowly you smile, and you realize that you are normal! =)

1915. A toy, a leaf. A toy, a leaf... A toy a leafin mo kahit hindi batid. Aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid!

1916. He slept the summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonders, he took my childhood in stride, but he was gone when autumn came. - Les Miserables.

1917. When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves you. And it doesn't mean that they are bad persons, it just means that their part in the story is over.

1918. Never let guys hurt you. We women are the planet's pride, so when a guy hurts you, stand tall and proudly say, 'Sa ganda kong ito, excuse me, get out of my way! Next please!'

1919. Stay humble, be faithful, offer hope, work diligently, fight fairly, live simply, love deeply, give generously, they say, 'Bwisit! Kaya ko ba toh?' :)

1920. A true friend is like the shade of a great tree in the noonday heat. Para kang puno ng kampupot.

continue reading text messages 1891-1920...

Friday, December 19, 2008

text messages 1891-1920

1891. The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize. - Nageexplain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

1892. Anak: Itay, ano ba ang birdflu? Kasi, maraming nabibiktima ng birdflu. Ama: Kaya nga kita pinag-aaral para matuto ka eh. Ang birdflu ay past tense ng bird fly.

1893. Walang pinipili ang pag-ibig, kahit mahirap ka pa o mayaman. Pero paano kung minahal ka ng isang mahirap at isang mayaman, sino ang pipiliin mo? The one who has everything or the one who has nothing but willing to give everything?

1894. Love is patient and kind. It is not conceited and selfish. Love never gives up and its faith, hope and patience never fail. Happy Valentines!

1895. You may have someone in your heart and in your mind, you may have someone in your dreams and someone in your life but I am your someone when you have no one.

1896. Piolo: Wow! Ang ganda nung chicks! Diether: Sexy pa! Grabe! Ang puti! Robin Padilla: Sino? Yung nakatube? Kilala ko yan! Teka, tatawagin ko ha? Psst! Kuya Rustom!

1897. Vine tea. Do you want to know about vine tea? What is vine tea? Vine tea is actually the sukli when you have 50 pesos pag nagload ka ng 30.

1898. Sometimes, the risk of letting go is the only incredible thing one could do to know who's willing enough to look stupid just to come back.

1899. According to Science, man came from monkeys. I beg to disagree. Bakit ikaw, mukhang kabayo?!

1900. Kadalasan, ibinabase ng mga girls sa hitsura kung mamahalin ang isang guy. Pero hindi dapat ganun! Hindi naman sa mukha nakikita yun eh. Kundi sa loob. Sa loob ng brief! Yun yun eh! Hahaha!

1901. If you're shopping for a happy ending and you couldn't find one, buy a new beginning instead.

1902. You're the perfect person that I know, so sweet, so nice, always on my mind. So cute pa and very special but there's something wrong. Wrong send ako! Hahaha!

1903. Be very careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior of, but from the side to be equal with. Under the arms to be protected for and next to the heart to be loved.

1904. Common between the sun and panty: both are hot, both look better while going down, both disappear by night!

1905. Two dillema's that rattle my mind: How do I get rid of someone who won't go and how do I hang on to someone who won't stay. Sakit sa ulo!

1906. Panakip butas mo lang pala ako! - Panty.

1907. Some friends forget. Some move away. Some keep silent. Some just change. But I'm not one of them. I'm just here, medyo busy nga lang. You know naman, daming shooting. :)

1908. There are 73 billion people in this world. So why should I be sad without you? Well, because 72 billion, 999 million, 999 thousand, 999 people can't be you!

1909. How can you tell when a politician is lying to you? When his lips move! =)

1910. It is hard to love someone who can never be yours. Time would give you chances to talk, chances to be together, chances to share. See how it hurts? You only have chances. Just chances!

1911. Let instruction and knowledge mean more to you than silver or finest gold. Wisdom is worth more than precious jewels or anything else you desire. Good day!

1912. Rowing hard doesn't help if the boat is heading the wrong direction. Entrust your life to God and let Him steer it according to His plan and purpose.

1913. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

1914. How to know if you are normal: 1. You have a Friendster account. 2. You have a cellphone. 3. You watch MTV. 4. You are fully aware of adult stuff. 6. You register to unlimited texting. 7. You sleep late. 9. You were so busy you forgot to read number 5. 10. You actually scrolled up to see if there's a number 5. Don't worry, wala ding number 8. 11. Then, slowly you smile, and you realize that you are normal! =)

1915. A toy, a leaf. A toy, a leaf... A toy a leafin mo kahit hindi batid. Aaminin ko minsan ako'y manhid!

1916. He slept the summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonders, he took my childhood in stride, but he was gone when autumn came. - Les Miserables.

1917. When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves you. And it doesn't mean that they are bad persons, it just means that their part in the story is over.

1918. Never let guys hurt you. We women are the planet's pride, so when a guy hurts you, stand tall and proudly say, 'Sa ganda kong ito, excuse me, get out of my way! Next please!'

1919. Stay humble, be faithful, offer hope, work diligently, fight fairly, live simply, love deeply, give generously, they say, 'Bwisit! Kaya ko ba toh?' :)

1920. A true friend is like the shade of a great tree in the noonday heat. Para kang puno ng kampupot.

continue reading text messages 1891-1920...

Thursday, December 18, 2008

text messages 1861-1890

1861. I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you this... it’s like waiting for hours and hours... I know it’s the right time for me to say this. I’m starting to fall... asleep. Good night!

1862. Some of us are so busy now, forwarded messages are not merely just messages sent, but with it, goes a secret note saying I remember you still.

1863. Life becomes wonderful even if there are struggles and difficulties because we have a God so loving and inspiring who heals the pain and keep us going strong. Good morning!

1864. Never give up when everything fall into pieces. Never even lose hope when everybody turns there back on you. Remember that life isn’t about being fair; it’s about surpassing the unfair reality

1865. The power of prayer will never leave you, even in the darkest of times. It is the greatest weapon known to human kind , the freedom no one can take away.

1866. Judge: Isa ka palang pusher, kidnapper, gun for hire, gambling lord, swindler at bugaw! Wala ka bang matinong hanapbuhay? Accused: Aba'y meron po sir, pulis po ako!

1867. Quote of the day: For every girl with a broken heart, there's always a boy with a scotch tape.

1868. The heart remembers all special moments when kindness made the difference. May the kindness you often give return to you in countless special ways. Good night!

1869. This message will explode in 5 seconds... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Boom!! Tarat! tarat! Boom tarat tarat! Tararat! Tararat! Boom! Boom! Boom! Shoink!

1870. Prayer is not an optional extra nor is it a last resort when all other methods have failed. When man works, man works. When man prays, God works. Good evening!

1871. Sometimes, you have to fight for something to make everything alright. You give your best and you give your all, yet, you still lose. But if ever you get tired, tell Jesus, He'll take the fight and win it all with you!

1872. God's love is the voice when you can't speak, the strength when you are weak, the hope when you are down, and the smile when you are sad. Stay happy!

1873. Tatay: Anak, kain na, hinanda ko ang paborito mong ulam. Anak: Talaga, tay? Tatay: Hulaan mo, clue, may chop sa dulo! Anak: Ah, porkchop! Paborito ko nga! Tatay: Ketchop anak!

1874. If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. - Albert Einstein

1875. Quote of the day: Risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

1876. A long life may not be enough, but a good life is good enough.

1877. You never know what you have till you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back! - snatcher.

1878. It's an enigma when you fall in love and accept that some good things never last. Suddenly, you'll begin to see yourself as nothing. It's an agony to accept that despite the feelings you have, it's all not enough. But when you love someone, you would do the hardest thing. And yes, it's not going to be easy, but at least you know that what you felt was real.

1879. A life filled with love must have some thorns, but a life empty of love will never have roses.

1880. I was once hurt by someone I really love. I didn't want to give up even if it sucks! But one day, I did. Why? Pagod na ako. Mahirap pala talaga magmahal ng non-showbiz! =)

1881. Thought of the day: It's better to shut up and let others think that you're an idiot than open your mouth and prove it!

1882. One day an ugly girl was born. Mother: What a treasure! Father: Yeah, let's bury it!

1883. It's not being in love that makes me happy. It's being in love with you that makes me happy.

1884. There are eight ways to describe you… jolly, optimist, kyut, exotic, lovable, attractive, nice, gorgeous! In short J-O-K-E L-A-N-G!

1885. Sa mga tulog pa, gising na! Sa mga gising na, maghilamos ng mukha! Sa mga naistorbo, mang-istorbo din kayo! Kasi, inistorbo rin lang nila ako! Good morning!

1886. There will be times you might feel giving up to all the problems you're going thru. Life may be unfair but always remember that when no one else will stand by your side, God will.

1887. Can't help but fall! - Sipon.

1888. Have you noticed that the body when split vertically has parts of every organ on both sides except for the heart? This is because the organs were made to be shared, while the heart was made to be given as a whole.

1889. Dear God, thank you for making me healthy. Can you also make me sexy? If not, please make all my friends fat. Amen!

1890. A turtle once taught me that no matter how heavy his bearings are, it's his choice to carry the luggage for it is the only way he feels protected. Good morning!

continue reading text messages 1861-1890...

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

text messages 1831-1860

1831. Sleep well, sleep tight, sleep silently into the night. Here is your pillow. Toink! Here is your kiss. Mwah! Here is your hug. Mmmmhhh. Here is your angel, Ahem. saying I love you! Good night!

1832. Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved, we love to love.

1833. Lahat ng bagay, pag nagfall, may binabagsakan. If you fall from the trees, sa lupa ang bagsak mo. Kapag sa stairs, sa sahig ang bagsak mo. What if you fall in love? Syempre, sa kama nang bagsak mo! Hehehe.

1834. Mrs1: O mare, bakit ka umiiyak? Mrs2: Nag-away kami ni pare, gusto nya, sex kami, style aso, tumanggi ako! Mrs1: Masarap naman yun! Mrs2: Masarap nga, kaso, gusto nya, sa kalsada! Ngek!

1835. As a kid, I loved big gifts. But I bloomed learning that the best gifts come in small boxes. Like you, I may just have a litle time with you, but your gift of friendship is the one I'm thankful for.

1836. Lord, enlighten what is dark in me; strengthen what is weak in me; mend what is broken in me; bind what is bruised in me; heal what is sick in me; straighten what is crooked in me and revive whatever peace and love have died in me. Most of all, teach me to practice humility at all times.

1837. God's gift to me are people like you. With well meant prayers, I whispered my thanks to Him and asked Him to bless you in ways only He can do!

1838. Our friendship means a lot to me, that if we were the last people on a sinking ship and there's only one life vest, I promise, I'll miss you.

1839. Doc: What happened to your vag*na? Ang laki! Girl: I was raped by an elephant. Doc: But elephants have small d*cks! Girl: Ampotahnang yun! Fininger muna ako! Shet!

1840. I may not always do or say the little things to let you know how much I appreciate you. But there's one thing I'm sure of: My world smiles more simply because you're in it. Good evening!

1841. For toothpaste ad, they show the teeth. For shampoo ad, they show the hair. For facial soap, they show the face. Pero bakit sa Whisper napkin, walang showing? Unfair naman! =)

1842. A story that can be read only by Smart people... *The end* May nabasa ka? Wala, di ba? Ako rin eh, wala! Globe kasi tayo. Kung Smart ka at di mo nabasa, matakot ka!

1843. I am not a super rich tropa, hindi mapera, walang car, pero ito ang tandaan mo, kahit wala akong yaman, friend mo pa rin ako kahit hampaslupang maganda lang ako! =)

1844. Miriam Santiago's watch is made jointly by Japan's Seiko and France's Patek Philippe. The brand name of the watch 'Seikopatek'.

1845. In the maze of love, try not to lose yourself, so that when love is no longer willing to stay, you still have the greatest posession and gift that no one could take away... yourself.

1846. Man: I can identify any drink while blindfolded. (Blindfolded, he's handed some glasses) Man: Johnny Walker ito! San Miguel ito! Pweh! Ihi ito! Voice: Yes, pero kanino?

1847. Alam mo ba ang nangyari kagabi? Sa bahay namin? Sa kama ko? Nung mga bandang 2AM? Natutulog ka na yata nun. Alam mo bang natutulog din ako nun? Kagigising ko nga lang! Good morning!

1848. Time for breaktime quote: “ Masarap magmahal kung ang minamahal mo ay masarap.” Now back to reality.

1849. Don't let your mind become cluttered with worry, it leaves less room for the good stuff. Pray, relax, let go! Let God take over your life. Good day!

1850. Minsan, pakiramdam ko, wala na akong ginawang tama. Lahat mali, lahat may puna, pero kapag naisip kita, masaya na ako, dahil sa dinami-dami ng kalokohang nagawa ko, eh siguradong mas marami ang sa iyo!

1851. Christ is the arm that will hold you at your weakest; the eye that will see you at your darkest; and the heart that will love you at your worst. God bless.

1852. You change for two reasons: Either you learn enough that you want to or you've been hurt enough that you have to.

1853. The fate of love is that it is always too little or too much. Don’t live your life with someone you want to live with; live it with someone you can’t live without.

1854. When God is involved, anything can happen. Be open. God has a beautiful way of bringing good vibrations out of broken chords.

1855. Morning is a sign of God's great love for us. Let us be thankful that we are given a new day to share this love with special people in our hearts. Good morning!

1856. As you admire the wonderful things God has made today, remember you're one of them - wonderful inside and out. You're blessed. You're special. You're loved. Good morning!

1857. Before you can inspire with emotion, you must be swamped with it yourself. Before you can move their tears, your own must flow. To convince them, you must fight. Pleasant dreams. God bless!

1858. If I have to choose between the one who loves me the most and the one I love the most, I'd rather go for the person who loves me the most because I can learn to love that person as our relationship goes on but I can never teach the person I love the most to love me the way it should. So sad and painful but true, have to willingly admit realities.

1859. Bata: Itay, sabi ng genie, bibigyan daw nya ako ng isang wish! Itay: Wow! Sabihin mo, sana manalo ang tatay mo sa lotto bukas! Next day, nanalo ng lotto ang driver nila!

1860. “Pag di ka mahal ng taong Mahal mo, wag kang magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka. Kaya quits lang.“ May point sya. Hahaha

continue reading text messages 1831-1860...

Friday, December 12, 2008

text messages 1801-1830

1801. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, fattening, or taken na! Parang wala nang choice kundi magkasala! Hehehe.

1802. As we walk through life, there will be times when you won't see me beside you, don't think I left you alone. I just chose to walk behind you so I could catch you right away if you fall.

1803. The human brain is the most outstanding thing. It functions 24 hours, 365 days. It functions right from the time you were born until you fall in love and malfunctions after getting married. =)

1804. Hindi lahat ng dinosaur, kumakain ng hayop. Yung iba, gusto lang ng hug. - Barney. Nyahaha!

1805. Trivia: Alam mo bang kapag ininom mo ang katas ng damong makahiya, mas mabisa pa sa Viagra kung erection din lang ang pag-uusapan? May side effect nga lang. Kapag nasagi, titiklop!

1806. A cute love story: There was a little boy whose first love was a young girl in a picture which he found and picked from the street. As time went by, he got married, but still kept it. One day, the wife found it and asked, 'Where did you get this?' The man said, 'I kept that since I was a child, why?' The girl replied, 'I lost this picture when I was 9...'

1807. It's better to lose your pride to the one you love than lose your love one to your useless pride.

1808. Misis1: Suko na ako sa mister ko. Lagi na lang akong binubugbog bago niroromansa! Misis2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday ang niroromansa!

1809. A Thai surnamed Mongkikimo commited suicide when his Pinay girlfriend Paquita wouldn’t marry him. The girl could not bear her family name “Paquita Mongkikimo”.

1810. Kung amoy putok ka, be proud! Pinagpawisan mo yan eh!

1811. Friendship, like marriage, there are ups and downs. You just have to get through it. That's why when you need me, I'll be there, and even if you don't need me, I'll be standing still, waiting for you to be needing me again.

1812. If you could choose between life and death you would almost rather die, love is fun but hurts so much the price you pay is high. And so I say don't fall in love, you will get hurt before you're through. You see my friend, I ought to know, I fell in love with you.

1813. When trials came, we tend to ask, 'Lord, why me?' But blessings pour on us each day and we never ask 'Lord, why me?' Let's learn to say, 'Thank God, it's me!' Good evening!

1814. Nanay: Lakas mong kumain ah, kapal talaga ng mukha mo! Bwisit! Anak: Inay naman! E kung yung baboy, kumain, tuwang tuwa pa kayo! Sino ba talaga ang anak nyo, ako, o yung baboy?

1815. Masakit daw umibig, palagi ka raw iiyak, palagi ka raw aasa at maghihintay sa wala. Ganun lang yun dahil kung hindi ka masasaktan, hindi mo malalamang nagmamahal ka na pala.

1816. I always dream, I tend to be happy, but my dreams won't fit my eyes, that's why they fell and became tears, because you are the dream that is out of my reach.

1817. An alcoholic son wrote a letter... Beer dad, Gin na ako iinom ulit, Whisky kelan. Tanduay mo yan, tiTequilan ko na talaga, pRhumis po! Your San, Miguel.

1818. Find a quiet moment today and think of all your blessings. It will be interesting to realize that good days always outnumber the bad ones. Good day!

1819. Friendship should not be like breasts because it sucks. Not like v*gina, because it gets f*cked. It should be like p*nis because it stands whenever needed. =)

1820. Exercise daily keeps your body healthy. Like my lola, she was 75 when started walking 5 miles a day. Now she's 98, and until now, hindi pa umuuwi. Wala ba dyan?

1821. If you want to know how much God loves you, try to catch every single raindrop. The ones you catch is how much you love God and the ones you miss is how much God loves you.

1822. God never takes a day off to love, to care, to guide us in every moment of our lives. May his choicest blessings be with you always. Good night!

1823. Relationships, of all kinds, are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact, but held too positively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.

1824. Tumatakbo si Erap galing computer room na sinusundan ng staff: 'Sir, bakit ka tumatakbo?' Erap: Tatakas ako, sabi kasi ng computer 'press Ctrl then Escape'.

1825. Even if a day should go by when I don't say 'I love you', may there never be a moment that goes by without you knowing that I do.

1826. Do you know why I hate silence so much? Because when it's quiet, when I'm alone, that's the moment I realize I'm blindly missing the noise you create. :)

1827. When you miss someone, your heart starts to shout that person's name. For some reason, my heart just won't stop shouting your name. I guess, you are smart enough to figure out what I mean. =)

1828. I send this special wish to a friend for a friendship I will always cherish; may your life be filled with excellent health, much success and a bit of wealth, and may you live by the light above, and feel the joys that come from love.

1829. Tumabi ako sa iyo at huminga ng malalim. Tinanong mo ako, 'Bakit?' Ngumiti ako. Nagtanong ka ulit, 'Bakit nga?' Sumagot ako, 'Bakit ba? Masama bang huminga?'

1830. UN conducted a worldwide survey with this question: 'Would you please give your honest opinion about shortage of food in the rest of the world?' Survey failed! Because in Africa, they didn't know what food is. In China, they didn't know what opinion is. In Europe, they didn't know what shortage is. Filipino leaders interviewed didn't know what honest mean. France didn't know what please is. And American leaders didn't know the rest of the world!

continue reading text messages 1801-1830...

text messages 1771-1800

1771. A girl newcomer in hell complained to Satan: 'Ang daming cute guys dito, kaya lang, ang liliit ng bird.' Satan: 'Gaga! Kung malaki yan, eh di para ka ring nasa heaven!'

1772. Everyday, I ask God why I do have someone like you in my life? Last night, I had a dream, God answered my prayer with a simple sentence, 'You deserve a friend that never fades!'

1773. Words to live by: Just say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't expect someone to read your mind and don't play games with heads or hearts. Don't tell half truths and expect trust.

1774. Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth. What did you read? My pen is in her mouth. Or did your dirty mind read something else?

1775. Life isn't perfect. You will have to cry and fail. You may also lose hope. But hey! Let me just remind you. I'm here. Not to make life perfect but to make it simple!

1776. Kung sakaling may 2nd life after I die, na bibigyan ako ni Lord ng wish, hahanapin muna kita, tapos, ituturo kita, tapos sasabihin ko, 'Lord, ipakilala mo ulit ako sa kanya ha?!'

1777. Lola: Sino yang kasama mo? Apo: Boyfriend ko po. Lola: Aba, bata ka pa, lumalandi ka na! Pasok sa loob! At ikaw lalaki... 'Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?' Apo: Lola, ang landi moh!

1778. In a world where everybody meets a jerk, you know you don't need to be serious. Hangout, pretend and play with them. Have fun and stop; no attachment, no commitment, no pain. Convenient, isn't it? But at the end of the show, you know you're still yearning for something genuine. You realized that what you are really looking for is someone who can look at you straight in the eyes and tell you he/she loves you, someone worth every risk of pain, someone who will stay, someone who will simply make a difference...

1779. The difficulty is not dying for your love but in finding a love worth dying for.

1780. GF: Ayoko na! Hiwalay na tayo. BF: Bahala ka! Akala mo, makakahanap ka pa ng tulad ko? GF: Gago! Akala mo, maghahanap pa ako ng tulad mo!? Bwahahaha! Oo nga naman, may point sya.

1781. A person who truly loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else still believes in the smile of your face.

1782. A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everyone around brighten into smiles. May God bring back to you all the happiness you've given to others. Take care.

1783. A playboy died. During a mass: Priest: He's an honest guy, good husband and family man. Wife: (whispered to her son) Anak, tingnan mo nga. Baka hindi na si papa mo yung nakaburol.

1784. All you have to do in life is go out with your friends, party hard, and look twice as good as the bitch standing next to you. - Paris Hilton.

1785. The Lakehouse: What if you waited for your special someone your whole life and later on learn that no one is waiting for you? True love is worth taking chances for. Sometimes, you don't know why things work out, they just do.

1786. If you walk 1000 miles away from God, you will only need one step backward to get to him because He always follows you wherever you go and whatever you do. He still loves you. Good morning!

1787. Believe while others doubt, work while others wish, save while others waste, persevere while others quit, pray and stay while others walk away. Good day!

1788. One Sunday, a guy plan to go to church to pray for his girlfriend that died a week ago. That church was where both of them attended mass together. While walking for the entrance of the church, the guy suddenly felt weak, the more he gets further inside, the heavier his body become. As the mass ended, the guy was approached by a flower vendor and asked him, 'Sir ang sweet mo naman.' He asked, 'Bakit mo nasabi?' 'Kasi, pinasan mo pa ang girlfriend mo papasok ng simbahan.' Happy Halloween!

1789. Death can't kill what is not measured by time. I will love you forever, and when I die, whatever part of me is left, will love you, far beyond eternity.

1790. God give gifts of love thru people like you. May all your days be as special as the memories you create in the hearts of those you touch and cared for.

1791. Isang lola ang naholdap. Lola: Wala akong pera! Holdaper: Alam ko kung nasaan ang pera mo! (sabay pasok ng kamay sa bra ni lola) Lola: Ituloy mo iho, may tseke pa sa ibaba!

1792. To be kind is more important than to be right. Sometimes all a person need is not a brilliant mind that speaks but a patient heart that listens.

1793. To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being love by someone deeply gives you courage.

1794. All things in life are temporary. If they're going well, enjoy, they won't last forever. If they go wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either. Good morning!

1795. I only have *ex on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!

1796. I love you hurts when it's not meant, it's not appreciated, it was just in the past, it's forced, it's a lie, and most of all? Kapag may dugtong na 'friend.'

1797. If you love someone, you have to give the best, do the right thing. But the best way to an everlasting relationship comes from two words... Don't Lie!

1798. The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core strength within you that survives all hurt.

1799. It's not how big your sin is. It doesn't matter if you're a thief, a rapist, a murderer, a cheater or a liar. The point is: You committed a sin! Ouch!

1800. Kapag sinaktan ka, huwag gaganti. 'Don't do unto others what you don't want them to do unto you.' Pero kapag sinaktan ka ulit, bigyan mo na ng suntok o sipa. 'It's better to give than to receive.'

continue reading text messages 1771-1800...

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Text Messages 1741-1770

1741. A faithful husband was drunk, he didn't know what was happening around him. Upon going home, he directly entered the room and slept. When morning came, he was amazed. Everything is in order, tablet of aspirin and a glass of water with a note, 'Good morning hon, I'll just buy groceries for our dinner! Have your breakfast! Luv u!' He was wondering why was that so, eventhough he was drunk last night. He asked his son, 'What happened last night? Why is this so? Your mom should be angry.' Son replied, 'Mom tried to uncloth you, but you said, 'Stop! I'm married.''

1742. Sa likod ng mga ngiti, may mga luha. Sa likod ng mga biro, nagtatago ang problema. Hindi ka man laging tunay na masaya, tandaan mo, sa likod ng bawat tao, may pwet!

1743. We are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

1744. Sa panahon na hindi ako nakakapagtext, huwag mong isipin na hindi ako nagtext. Nagtext ako, hindi lang nasend, kasi, wala akong load. Pero nagtext ako!!!

1745. Hindi kaya nainsulto si Pacquiao doon sa commercial ng San Miguel? Kasi, di ba, sabi sa kanya ni Morales, 'Palakang katulad mo, Manny!'

1746. The true meaning of GLOBALIZATION: Princess Diana, a Welsh princess, with an English husband, crashed in a French tunnel while riding in a German car with a Dutch engine driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, chased by Italian paparazzi on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor using Brazilian medicines. This message was created by a Filipino on a Finnish celphone smuggled from China by a Pakistani and sold by an Indian businessman. =)

1747. God understands that we are not strong all the time. Sometimes, all we can do is rest on his arms as he takes us thru the journey of life. With Him, we are safe.

1748. The heart is like a Rubik's cube, someone is supposed to mess the cube first so someone else could fit the colors perfectly.

1749. Si miss, first time nagpa-physical check-up. DOC: O iha, huwag kang mahiya sa akin, hubarin mo na damit mo para maumpisahan ko na ang physical check up mo. MISS: umhh… si dok naman.. sige na nga, pero kayo muna.

1750. The paradox of life: Everybody wants to live a long life but nobody wants to get old. Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die. And nobody seems to realize that in our life's journey, no one has ever reached the finish line alive. Enjoy your journey called life. Good night!

1751. When you love, never stick only to what your heart feels. Sometimes, using your brain is a necessity. Next, never use your eyes to cry for the person who fooled you, instead use it to search for the right one. Don't be scared of breaking up, keeping a relationship with a selfish partner is scarier. Love the one who will fight for you and bravely face each and every consequences. Love the one who will accept you and loves you more despite great mistakes you did. Love the one who hold on, someone who would never let the feelings be gone. Love is a gift and not an obligation.

1752. Patient: Doc, I regularly move my bowel every morning at 7! Doc: What is wrong with that? Patient: Kasi, I wake up at 8:00 AM!

1753. Sabi nila, ang taong maingay, bolero sa text. Tahimik, makulit sa text. Two-timer, sweet sa text. Stick to one, matipid sa text. Pero ang mga cute, eto, patext-text!

1754. How do you compare Erap and Mike Arroyo? Both are billionaires. Both Ateneans. Both fat. Both alias Jose. Both are liars. Pero si Erap, mas may taste sa babae!

1755. Do you know why I love solitude so much? It's because in this state, I break free from a dangerous society where people have nothing to do but break my heart.

1756. Success in life can never be an accident, it's the result of right decisions at the right time. Champions are not people who never fail but people who never quit.

1757. I'd rather be with someone who loves me more than I love him. I'm 100% sure that my happiness is his priority, and no more sleepless nights.

1758. If you didn't do anything wrong, you wouldn't mind telling the truth! - Bon Apres Midi!

1759. Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids... Eat them!!! - Homer Simpson

1760. He should know that the great aim of every human being is to understand the meaning of total love. Love is not to be found in someone else, but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person. The universe only makes sense when we have someone to share our feelings with. - Eleven Minutes by Paolo Coelho.

1761. It's nice to start the day with a smile on your way but it's nicer to start this day when your smile meets my way.

1762. Boy1: Bakit bad trip ka? Boy2: Tampo sa akin ang utol ko! B1: Bakit naman? B2: Nakalimutan kong birthday nya! B1: Yun lang? Anong masama dun? B2: Masama dun, twins kami! Twiiiinnns!

1763. Don't say you love someone unless you mean it. Because they might do something crazy like believing it.

1764. Man: Bago po ako umawit ay pwede ko po bang ihandog ko ang aking awitin sa aking biyenan? Emcee: Ok. Ihandog mo na. Man: Ang awitin ko pong ito ay buong puso kong inihahandog sa aking mahal na biyenan. Emcee: Eh ano naman ang kakantahin mo? Man: Devil Woman.

1765. Siguro nga hindi sa lahat ng oras ay aasa tayo sa mga pangarap natin. Masasaktan lang tayo. Kasi, hindi lahat ng pangarap natin, para sa atin, natutupad. Parang ako, pangarap ko lang sya, hanggang pangarap lang. Alam mo naman iba ang mundo naming mga dyosa!

1766. Everytime I see a star, I remember you and cry. Why? Because I was under that star when I wished for you. I was happy to see you come true, but, it was also under that same star when you suddenly wished for someone new.

1767. In life, there are times that you have to face tough decisions, either you make it or break it. But do remember whichever way you go, there are no wrong decisions in life, it's for you to make it right.

1768. Bakit ayaw nyo pa rin sa akin kahit sosyal at maganda ako? Dahil ba mas sweet ang iba? - Fruitcake.

1769. Some people say they can't live without love. Well, oxygen's more important. - Dr Gregory House. So, kung wala kang lovelife, inhale-exhale ka na lang!

1770. Shores never meet yet share the same sand, the moon and the sun couldn't be one yet cross the same sky. Just like friends who don't meet often but never stop being friends.

continue reading Text Messages 1741-1770...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Text Messages 1711-1740

1711. Love? Shakespeare explained it thru Romeo and Juliet. Picaso thru his paintings. Lovers thru flowers. But no one beats my bestfriend's style, he explained it to me thru the cross.

1712. The Lord does not want us to doubt, to fear or to grieve. He wants us to believe, to hope, to love and to see life the way He made it. A blessed day!

1713. For the friendship, for the care, for the love, for the laughs, for the fun, for the bond, for the smiles, for the jokes, for the company, for the texts, for the joys, for the happiness, for everything, thank me! Thank me! =)

1714. If there comes a time that you will just wanna sit and cry, tell me. I won't cry with you nor give advice, but I'll be there sitting with you, holding your hand saying, 'Yan, Redhorse. Oh, tahan na!'

1715. Hindi lahat ng hinog ay matamis! - Pigsa.

1716. Happiness cannot be found at the end of the road. It is experienced along the way. Take not for granted each moment of your life and find reasons to be happy each day.

1717. I always believe in the magic of friendship. Hindi importante na magkasama, magkausap, o nagkikita lagi. What's important is alam nyong friendship never ends whatever happens!

1718. It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around. Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.

1719. Mahirap ang buhay may asawa. Umaga - laba damit. Tanghali - sampay damit. Hapon - tiklop damit. Gabi - plantsa damit. Hatinggabi - hubad damit. Madaling araw - hanap damit!

1720. Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it or work around it. Good morning!

1721. Mahirap ipaubaya ang minamahal sa iba. Lalo na kapag alam mong hindi mo kaya kapag wala sya. Pero mas lalong mahirap kapag alam mong kayo nga, pero iba naman pala ang nasa puso nya. =(

1722. I cared, I got hurt. I took risks, I failed. I sacrificed, I lost. I hoped, I gained nothing. Yet, I remained damn good looking inspite of it!

1723. Caring is a wonderful gift that no one can buy. It is made up of love that roots in our hearts to make fruits of memory not just for a while but for a lifetime. Good morning!

1724. Strong people make mistakes like weak people do, the difference is: Strong people admit them, laugh at them and learn from them. That is how they become strong.

1725. Babae: Doc, kumusta na ang asawa ko? Doc: Sorry ma'am. Mula ngayon, ikaw na ang magpapakain at magpapaligo sa kanya, kasi, putol na ang kanyang mga kamay at paa. Babae: Hah?! Hindi nga?! Doc: Hehehe! Ninerbyos ka ano? Joke lang! Patay na sya!

1726. Minsan, mahuhuli mo akong nakatitig sa iyo! Huwag mo na lang akong pansinin! Sabi kasi ng mama ko, cute daw ako kaya iniisip ko kung anong itsura ng hindi cute!

1727. Your food choices show your mood: Angry people often eat meat which they can chew aggresively, it's like a release. Lonely people eat bulky food such as rice - they feel empty so they want something that makes them feel full. Stressed people eat chips or crackers. Sad people indulge in ice cream and cheese. Sexually frustrated people eat breads and donuts, they want something that slides down easy, no hassles. Source: Reader's Digest, January 2007.

1728. Anong tawag mo sa maliit na nunal? - Ismole. Ano naman ang tawag mo sa nakakatakot na pekpek? - Isp*ki! Hahaha! (Spooky!)

1729. You won't fully enjoy a swing unless you raise your feet from the ground. You won't fully enjoy a boat ride unless you remove the rope's knot from the river bank. Your dog won't fully enjoy his/her dog's life unless you remove the chain on his/her neck. Lesson: Never ever limit yourself when it comes to happiness. Learn how to let go and move on. Life is beautiful.

1730. Life is a one-way street. No matter how many detours you take, none of them leads back. So, enjoy its every moment as none of them will happen the same way again.

1731. If life is a game, I pray you win. If life is a journey, I pray you walk on roses. If life is joy, I pray you always smile! Whatever life is, I pray you the best. Good morning!

1732. The power of prayer will never leave you, even in the darkest of times. It's the greatest weapon known to mankind, the freedom no one can take away. Good morning!

1733. We are living our own lives, having our own set of friends that we hang out with and talk to, but anytime you feel like needing someone crazy but real, I'm just around.

1734. Some people say that you don't know what you have until you lose it, but it's not like that. You always know what you have, you just never thought you would lose it.

1735. True strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting you to fall apart.

1736. There is no oil without squeezing the olives, no wine without pressing the grapes, no fragrance without crushing the flower. So when things press you down, God is taking out the best in you. God bless.

1737. The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect. Good night!

1738. Oy, may nalaman ako sa tungkol sa iyo. Ikaw talaga. Nakabalot ka na daw ng regalo para sa akin this Christmas! Thanks! Ang sweet naman!

1739. Kapag cute ang friend ko, hindi ko nalilimutan ang pangalan nya! Promise, hindi talaga. Parang ikaw! Hindi ko nakakalimutan ang pangalan mo, kasi cute ka! Tama ba ako? Richard!

1740. Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level then beat you with experience!

continue reading Text Messages 1711-1740...

Saturday, December 6, 2008

text messages 1681-1710

1681. Whenever you want to know how rich you are, don't count your money. Just drop tears from your eyes and look around the number of hands that reach out to wipe your tears.

1682. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.

1683. If it weren't for that damned sun, I would have been the hottest thing ever created.

1684. The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. =)

1685. It's not being in love that makes you happy; it's who you're in love with that does.

1686. May mga lalakeng ok sa malayuan, talo naman sa malapitan. Tawag sa kanila, mga lalakeng uy! ay! Uy! Ang cute nya! Ay, bading pala! Sapul ba? Toink!

1687. Bakit kailangang mag-oist if you mean I miss you? Bakit tara? kung ang ibig sabihin, gusto kitang makasama? Why say teka, instead of dito ka muna? Asar talaga! Mahal ka na pala, itinatago pa!

1688. If you want somebody for a day, get a date. If you want somebody for a week, get a fling. If you want somebody for a year, get a love. But if you want somebody for life, get a friend. You got me here!

1689. An award winning ad by Durex condom (U.S.A.): 'To all those who use our competitor's products, Happy Father's Day!' :D

1690. As you go through this day, praise God for the gift of life and the magic of love that binds family and friends who nourish our hearts and bring us real joy. Good morning!

1691. Pinaka-corny pero pinaka-effective na pick-up line: “Miss, alam mo ba, hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, at hindi tayo halaman. BAGAY TAYO! BAGAY!” =)

1692. Kapag tinanong ka ng boyfriend mo kung gaano mo sya kamahal, ito ang sabihin mo. 'Hindi pa ba sapat na nilabag ko ang batas namin? Na ang Dyosa ay bawal makipagrelasyon sa lamanlupa?!'

1693. Happiness is a very subjective factor in one's life. Being happy doesn't depend on achieving what you want, but rather making the best out of what is given. Life isn't fair, it never was. The only thing that can make you completely happy is contentment. Be contented with what you have, but be sure to aim high and never stop believing you can do better everytime. Then again, if all else fails, don't forget that an ordinary you has an extraordinary God to back you up.

1694. What is the difference between a girlfriend, a call girl, a wife and a maid? Quite simply, post paid, pre paid, unlimited and pasaload!

1695. You may not need me now, not today, not tomorrow, maybe not ever, but even if for just one moment you feel alone...please remember, I'm just here.

1696. Question. Bakit masasabing pinakaswerte si Adan sa lahat ng lalake? Answer: Bukod sa nasa paraiso na sya, may asawa pa sya at walang byenan!

1697. Stars are like friends, there is always some around you, you just have to find your favorite one! And you are my favorite star of them all.

1698. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled and crushed into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you're still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know nor in what we have, but by who we are. You're special. Don't ever forget that.

1699. It is better to cry than to be angry, because anger hurts others while tears flow silently thru the soul and cleanses the heart.

1700. People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates. Hoping to hit the jackpot... Carrie (Sex and the City)

1701. Maybe, I don't really know you that well. I don't know how you exactly act, but those things will not keep me away from you. Coz those are my reasons why I'm here... to know you much better.

1702. May your morning be a garden of God's wonderful blessings and your life blossoms with every dream that's close to your heart. May God be with you in everything you do. Good morning!

1703. “Sometimes no matter how much you miss someone it’s still wiser not to have that person…back again.”

1704. Carrying a lantern into a forest night doesn’t guarantee you’ll see all the trees, it only means that you can see a few steps ahead of you, far enough to keep your footing sure. Likewise, as the Lord lights your path, He may not shine all the answers to your shadowy questions in your mind, but He will give you all the light you need to scale life’s obstacles with faith and confidence.

1705. Our lives are books and each day is a page. We cannot erase what has already been written but we can always try to write a better ending. God bless!

1706. It's never too late to be what might have been. - George Elliot.

1707. You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, some time in your life. - Winston Churchill.

1708. Sometimes I wonder why sunset is more beautiful than sunrise. I guess it's an irony of life. Sometimes, better things could really happen saying goodbye.

1709. Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting. Keep the faith. God makes all things beautiful in His time. Good evening!

1710. Kumusta? May nagtext na ba sa iyo na hindi mo kilala? Baka kasi friend ko yun! Kinuha kasi ang number mo sa akin. Sensya na, ibinigay ko. Mabait naman yun eh, naghahanap daw kasi sya ng aakyat ng niyog... pwede ka ba?

continue reading text messages 1681-1710...

Friday, December 5, 2008

text messages 1651-1680

1651. An interview with God. Man: What surprises you most about humankind? God: That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again. That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future. That they live as if they will never die and die as though they had never lived. God bless!

1652. I have special sleeping arrangements for you. Bed of trust, pillow of care, bedsheet of understanding, blanket of peace and dreams of love. Good night!

1653. You brighten my day, hindi ka naman araw. You light up my life, hindi ka naman ilaw. You make me smile, hindi ka naman bulalakaw. You warm my heart, hindi ka naman sabaw. FRIEND kita, yan malinaw!

1654. 10 things to consider in a relationship: 1. Never both be angry at the same time. 2. Never yell at each other. 3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your mate. 4. If you must criticize, do it lovingly. 5. Never bring up mistakes of the past. 6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. 7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. 8. At least once a day, say a complimentary word to your mate. 9. When you have done something wrong, admit and ask forgiveness. 10. It takes two to make a quarrel, but the one who's wrong does the most of it.

1655. Man: Ale, magkano ho yang sa inyo? Prosti: Dalawang libo lang. Man: Ano? Ang mahal naman nya, eh ang tanda nyo na! Prosti: Gago ka pala eh! Kelan pa naging mura ang antique?!

1656. Pratatatat! Kaboom! Kablaaam! Weewee! Wangwang! Pratatatat! Sugod mga cute! Itext ang mga pangit! Yes sir! Ito, tinext ko na yung isa, lider ata nila.

1657. Bkit ganun? “Malalaman mo lang na importante ang isang tao pag nawala na sya sayo.” Sana, baliktad na lang.“Sayo sya na nawala pag tao isang ang importante na lang mo malalaman.” Ano daw!?

1658. A dancer is dancing. Public clapping. She removes top. More claps. Removes bra. Louder claps. Removes panty. Silence. Moral of the story: You can't clap with one hand. =)

1659. Viagra now available in eye drops! You don't get an erection but you look hard!

1660. Ifugao: Apply po ako ng sundalo, sir. Officer: Hindi ka pwede, ang dami mong sirang ngipin, bungi ka pa! Ifugao: Bakit sir, sa gyera ba ngayon, kagatan na ang labanan?

1661. And I say “A message comes when awake is here without a word tells sleep is deep for I dream to keep no words but sleep.” Goodnight!

1662. You can love two people at the same time but never at the same degree.

1663. We all are soldiers of God. So, when you feel tired, wounded, and weak, don't give up. The battle is at its peak. And in God's lead, we will always find victory.

1664. Sometimes you feel, that problems are so heavy. Sometimes, it's hard for you and you can say you can't do it anymore. Just look at the sky, maybe, there's someone to lean on. Or maybe, you can call me, you'll know that forever. Holding hands! I will not leave you! - English version ng Hawak Kamay! Uy! Babasahin nya ulit!

1665. Some people complain to God for putting thorns on the rose but some praise Him for putting a rose among the thorns.

1666. Never give up when everything fall into pieces. Never even lose hope when everybody turns their back on you. Remember that life is not about being fair, it's about surpassing the unfair reality.

1667. Driver: Hoy, tambay! Aatras ko BMW ko ha, sabihan mo ako kung mabubunggo na! Tambay: Ok. Sige, atras... Atras pa! Sige, atras pa! Atras pa! BOG! Ok, bunggo na! =)

1668. You are texting while walking... Daan bike-ilag, daan aso-ilag, daan kotse-ilag, daan trak-ilag, daan si 'kukote'. Stop! Gosh, sino yun? Naman! So cute!

1669. Sign on a bus: When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step. If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language. :)

1670. I wish I was a tear in your eyes so that I can roll down on your cheeks, touch lips and die happy but if you were a tear in my eyes, I will try hard not to cry coz I'm afraid to lose you.

1671. Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng English. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito! Klaro ba? Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban. Toink!

1672. Question: When is the best time to tell someone you love him/her? Answer: Before somebody else does.

1673. When you feel tired and alone, just tell me. Eventhough my hands can't hold you, my feet may not be able to run to you, my voice may not reach you, but my knees are always here to pray for you.

1674. 'Je suis triste et solitaire.' (I'm sad and lonely) - Instant messaging ni Inday sa kanyang French boyfriend na one month nang hindi sumasagot sa YM at emails nya. Nakakaloka!

1675. May nakakita sa akin sa dalampasigan, malungkot at nag-iisa. Sabi nya, 'Kung mahal mo sya, bakit hindi mo ipadama?' Sumagot ako, 'Mahal ka dyan! Nag-outing kami, naiwan ako!' :)

1676. Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting in a few drops on yourself! Good day!

1677. Glory isn't how high you jump over others nor how fast you run to the finish line but it is how often you stop to help people you meet the way along in life. Good night!

1678. Everytime I feel that nobody seems to understand me, it helps a little better thinking of you. Because I know, nobody understands you either. Hahaha!

1679. Blind folded and walking alone, that's what most of us feel. In a lifetime full of major risks and decisions, it might seem safer to remain stagnant. But isn't it more fulfilling if despite the fear of falling from a cliff and bruised knees, steps were taken? In the end, losing and mistakes won't count. What matters most is the person we turned out to be. Not naive, but wise and beautifully molded by experiences. Good evening.

1680. It's hard to trust and it's hard to cry. It's hard to love and later say goodbye... but it's much harder to say no, but that is life's way of making our hearts grow.

continue reading text messages 1651-1680...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

text messages 1621-1650

1621. If heaven had a place to display its most wonderful creatures, malamang, sa pintuan pa lang, nakadisplay na ang portrait mo. Pero syempre, katabi ng rebulto ko!

1622. Tanong: Ano ang tawag sa dalawang braso kapag pinagsama? Sagot: Eh di braso pa din! Tanong: Eh paano kapag dalawang binti ang pinagsama? Sagot: Eh di kwarinta! Nyak!

1623. With you it's not like I'm running towards the goal looking for a way to score, with you it's like I've already won.

1624. An ideal guy doesn't have bad vices, doesn't engage in one night stand, doesn't make promises he can't keep, doesn't flirt and lie. In short, he doesn't exist. Walang ganon, asa ka pa!

1625. If two hearts are meant to be friends, no matter how long it takes, how far they go, how tough it seems, God will bring them together to share friendship forever! Nice morning!

1626. When God gives you one important thing in life, never hold it too tight so when He asks you to give it back, it's easy to let go without hurting so bad.

1627. They say heaven is missing an angel. But your secret is safe with me. I know you're the missing angel who gave up heaven to make hell on earth. Hahaha!

1628. Step by step, the journey goes on. Little by little, it may seem so long. The things we learn will keep us on. With faith in God, He'll keep us strong. Get yourself believe. Have a good night!

1629. Class: Ma'am, ang baho po dito, may umutot! Ma'am: Ok, class. Sino man ang umutot, bibigyan ko ng 95 na grade. Pedro: Ma'am ako po. 100 nyo na Ma'am! Natae din kasi ako!

1630. Things don't just happen, they're planned by God's own dear hand, molded and shaped and timed by His clock. Have a worry-free day for God is in control. Good night!

1631. Fate wanted my life to be extra, extra special so instead of giving me just normal friends, he added a few crazy ones along the way! Thanks for the added insanity!

1632. Smile you made it least at but, you to this sent that fool the kill to want probably might you, this reading bothered have you after. Confused?? Read it backwards!

1633. 'Kung ang kare-kare may puso, tao pa kaya...' - Mama Sita. =)

1634. Ang tawag sa gumagawa ng tubo, tubero. Ang tawag sa kumukuha ng basura, basurero. Ang tawag sa mahilig sa gimik, gimikero. Sa maraming babae, babaero. Ang tawag sa nakaupo sa kanto? Tambay darling, tambay!

1635. Wife: Hon, kain ka na. Husband: Busog pa ako. Wife: Hindi naman food eh, yung sa akin. Husband: Busog pa nga ako, birthday ng secretary ko, nagpakain din sya!

1636. Sexy chick: Pangarap kong magkaanak. Pichay: Pangarap kong tuparin ang mga pangarap mo. Hehehe. Itanim ang kay Pichay!

1637. What's the closest thing to a woman's period? Your salary! It comes once a month, lasts about 3 or 4 days and if it doesn't come, everyone's in trouble!

1638. You are one of those whom I never asked from God! But still, he gave you to me. I asked Him why and He said, 'Because I know that person can fill your life in ways that others can't.' Happy Valentine's Day!

1639. A man once said: First, I was dying to finish my high school and start college... Then, I was dying to finish college and start working... Then, I was dying to marry and have children. And then, I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work. But then, I was dying to retire. And now, I'm dying, and suddenly I realized, I forgot to live. Live today like there's no tomorrow. Get the most out of life, enjoy it.

1640. A jewel of a friend is like a simple calculator. Someone who adds confort, subtracts fear, divides blessings and multiplies joy. Take care and God bless.

1641. We can love someone and just be happy about it even if we know that it cannot last forever. It is not about having someone. It is not about owning a relationship, it is just about being happy because you know you have loved someone. There is a purpose and meaning behind all events and this purpose and meanings develop you as a person and a lover. Whatever relationship you have in your life now, they are precisely the ones you need at this moment.

1642. Teacher: Juan, read your 500 words essay to your classmates. Juan: Ok, ma'am! My miming. Bow! I have a miming! My miming is lost. So, I went outside the house and look for my miming! ming! (478x!)

1643. Call me up when your heart needs company. Take my hand when you feel alone. Turn to me when you need someone to lean on. Because till time runs out, I'll be here, holding on.

1644. Never pray for an easier life, instead pray to be a stronger person. Never pray for tasks equal to your power but for power equal to conquer your tasks. Good evening!

1645. Pare, may dalaga dito sa amin, gustong magwork sa Japan. Pinahiram ko na nga ng pera, sinampal pa ako. Para sinabi ko lang naman na, 'Ibalik mo sa akin yan kapag maluwag ka na ha!'

1646. Wishing you a seductive and horny morning, licked by love and penetrated with heavenly graces. May all your problems be ejaculated before the climax of the day. Have a sexy day!

1647. The happiest people are those having the most simple lives and the least stressful lifestyles. Let us learn to simplify things. For simplicity is not just beauty. It is a blessing.

1648. Ang pagtext ng walang humpay, pambubulabog nang walang sablay, pang-aasar na walang kapantay, mga mensaheng walang saysay, sa Globe, posible!

1649. Some friends forget, some move away, some keep silent, some just change, but I'm not one of them. I'm just here, minsan, busy-busyhan nga lang, pero never kitang kakalimutan.

1650. There are two types of people: Those who come in and say, 'Well, here I am.' and those who come in and say, 'Hey, there you are!' Who are you?

continue reading text messages 1621-1650...

text messages 1591-1620

1591. Globe advisory: Salamat sa paggamit ng Globe Unlimitxt. Ang walang load ngayon ay maaari munang magpagulong gulong at tumalon talon para malibang ang sarili. Salamat.

1592. Minsan, napadaan ako sa harap ng sobrang sweet na lovers. Ayun, nauso ang 'break-up'.

1593. There are two greatest days in your life, the day you were born, and the day you discovered why.

1594. “Sometimes you got to quit thinking so much. If it feels right, it probably is, so just go with it.” =)

1595. Pagkatapos mong magpakahirap akong makuha, bibilugin mo lang ako?! - kulangot.

1596. Life is nothing until it is lived. But it is yours to make sense of, and the value of it is nothing other than the sense you choose. - Jean Paul Satre

1597. Always smile in the morning, it makes people wonder what you did last night! Nyahahaha!

1598. Life is so short to waste time for someone who's unworthy for your love. It's so sad when the right person will not be able to search for you coz you're too busy all your life making the wrong person right for you.

1599. Sometimes, love is unfair. The more you sacrifice, the more you get hurt. Even you've given your best, still not enough. Until such time you had no choice but to give up.

1600. Dear anak, Naipadala ko na yung 50 thousand pang tuition mo, ipinagbili na namin yung kalabaw natin. Ang mahal pala ng Counter Strike na kurso! Wala na rin pala tayong mga baboy, naipagbili na rin namin para dun sa sinasabi mong project, Nokia N75 ba yun? Ang mahal naman ng project mo! Kasama din dun ang 7 thousand para sa field trip nyo sa Mall Of Asia. Malayo ba yun, bakit ang mahal? Isasangla pa namin ang palayan para mabili mo yung instrumentong iPod. Napailaw nyo na ba yung pinagpupuyatan nyong San Mig Lights? Sana, grumaduate ka na. Love, nanay.

1601. Kahapon, nasaktan ako nang makita ko sya, di na nya kasi ako kilala pero nang tinitigan ko syang mabuti, narealize ko, hindi ko din pala sya kilala. Kaya pala!

1602. A dog has fallen deeply in love with a pig. One day, he took chances and bravely said, 'Pig, I am so in love with you.' The pig replied: Oink! :)

1603. Brain twister: It is exclusive for those who are wide readers. Please rearrange the letters to make it 1 word only. 'CONE PLAY DICE' No reply, low IQ!

1604. Hindi lahat ng magagaling ay nananalo dahil may nandadaya. Hindi lahat ng mataas ang grades ay matalino dahil may nangongopya. Hindi lahat ng cute ay artista, dahil hindi naman ako artista, cute lang talaga!

1605. Patient: Doc, ayos yung wonder drug ah! Nakakaapat na ako ngayon! Doctor: Ano naman ang sabi ni Misis mo? Patient: Wala pa, hindi pa ako umuuwi!

1606. The thread asked the candle: Why do you dissolve when I burn? Candle said: You're in my heart, if you suffer, I'm bound to shed tears for you. Pati kandila, umeemote na!

1607. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

1608. 'Happy 40 thoughtful years, Goldilocks!' Send this to 40 people within 2 days or else, magiging cake ka! Totoo ito! Yung friend ko, naging cake na. Black forest na sya.. promise!

1609. What he says versus what he means... Says: Gusto mong kumain? Means: Gutom na ako. Says: Gusto mong panoorin talaga yan? Means: Ang corny. Says: What's wrong? Means: Nag-iinarte ka na naman dyan! Says: Ikaw ang pinakamagandang babae sa mundo. Means: Hay naku, eto na naman tayo.

1610. Waiting for someone you love isn't easy especially when while you're waiting, the one you are waiting for isn't aware that you are waiting. - Tongue twister yan, wag na mag-emote!

1611. Never say you're happy when you're really sad. Never say you're fine when you're not ok. Never say you feel good when you feel bad and never say you're alone when you still have me.

1612. In the middle of a baptismal rite, a priest officiating said: 'Ang lambot ng ulo ng bata.' The pretty mother replied: 'Father, boobs ko po yan!'

1613. Madaming gago sa mundo at handa silang gaguhin ka, pero hindi nila alam, may kaibigan ka na mas gago sa kanila. Subukan lang nilang gaguhin ka, gagaguhin ko ang kapwa ko gago kapag nasaktan ka!

1614. Try this. Mag-isip ka ng dalawang number, from 1 to 100. Huwag mo munang scroll down, ha! Tapos na? Ok, thanks! Good night! (Nagpapaantok lang!)

1615. Silip lang kita kung cute ka pa. Hay! Salamat. Wala pa ring ipinagbago. Mas cute pa rin ako! O, huwag kang kokontra, piso ko to!

1616. When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason!!! :)

1617. Intsik: Papakasal ako padle. Pari: Marunong ka bang magdasal? Intsik: Olasyon alas sais lang memolize ko. Pari: Pakinggan ko nga. Intsik: Klang klang klang klang!

1618. In a petshop, customer talking to a parrot, 'Hoy! Can you speak ha? Can you speak? Bobo!' Parrot: 'Yes, I can!! Ikaw? Can you fly, ha? Can you fly? Gago!'

1619. He who laughs last is generally the last one to get the joke. - Terry Cohen

1620. I'm sitting down smiling, as I remember I have a good friend, you. And I hope many years from now, I would still sit down, smiling for the same reason.

continue reading text messages 1591-1620...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

text messages 1561-1590

1561. I remember our happy times together, kwentuhan to the max, the advices we give to one another, our silly acts, stupid jokes we've shared. 'Psst! Miss na kita.'

1562. A short story: Woman driving the road. Man driving up the same road. They pass by each other. Woman yells out the window. 'Pig!' Man yells back, 'B*tch!' Man rounds next curve and crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road and dies. Lesson: If only men would listen.

1563. Isinama kita sa aking panalangin, sana makatulog ka ng mahimbing, managinip ng maganda at huwag iihi sa kama! Good night!

1564. Even if I didn't make some moves to make you feel how much special you are to me, wherever you are, always remember that you still belong to the puzzle that makes my whole life complete. Happy Valentine's Day!

1565. Believe in God’s constant love for you and hold on to the truth that the best years of your life are still ahead of you and not behind you. Good day!

1566. We can't really love anybody with whom we've never laugh with.

1567. Hello, I am a virus, and I am entering your brain now....... sorry, I am leaving, i can't find any brain. Hahaha!

1568. A cardiologist died and was put in a heart shaped coffin. Another doctor laughed when he saw it, he was asked why and he said, 'I'm just thinking about me, I'm a gynecologist.'

1569. Pakawalan mo ang mga bagay na nakakasakit sa’yo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin iyong araw na sakit na lang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo. Bob Ong

1570. Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical. - Southpark.

1571. We may have struggles with God's timing and the mystery of His will in our lives but His promise stands. He will make everything beautiful in His time. Good morning!

1572. Piglet sat beside Pooh and whispered, 'Pooh?' 'Yes, Piglet,' said Pooh. 'Nothing,' Piglet said. Piglet took Pooh's paw and added, 'I just want to make sure you're here.' - Brokeback Mountain: Disney style. =)

1573. Always remember two things in life: Do not make decisions when you are angry and do not make any promises when you are happy. Good morning!

1574. It takes a strong heart to love. It takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it has been hurt. Good night!

1575. Girl1: Nakipagbreak ka raw sa BF mo? Girl2: Oo, hindi kasi marunong humalik ang lintek, nakakainis! At hindi lang yun, isang style lang ang alam nya, hindi ko mafeel. Girl1: Anong style ba ang alam ng BF mo? Girl2: Flying kiss!

1576. Alam mo bang tinext kita dahil gusto ko lang mangumusta? Yun lang, ayoko nang pahabain pa itong text ko sa iyo, kasi, ang pakay ko lang talaga ay kamustahin ka. Medyo tinatamad nga akong magtext lalo na kung mahaba, kaya ito, kakamustahin lang kita. Baka may ginagawa kang importante, sabihin mo pa nakakaabala pa ako sa iyo, kaya di na ako nagtext ng mahaba. Nakakahiya naman sa iyo. Basta alam mong naalala kita sa simpleng kamusta lang. Hindi na para tanungin ko pa ang ginagawa mo, o kung ok ka. Basta nagtext ako para mangamusta.

1577. Hindi mo raw agad malalamang mahal mo na ang isang tao, madalas kasi bulag ka sa totoo at akala mo iba ang gusto mo. Pero sa huli, mararamdaman mong mahal mo na pala sya, kapag nalaman mong... iba na ang mahal niya.

1578. Interviewer: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? Millionaire: I owe everything to my wife. Interviewer: Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her? Millionaire: A Billionaire!! Hahahaha!!!

1579. 'Magiging star ako!' - Alma Moreno in Bombastar.

1580. Friendship? It's about laughing at same things. It's about really being understood. It's about unconditional acceptance. It's about picking up where you left off. It's simply about us.

1581. Beautiful one liners: 1. Give God what's right, not what's left. 2. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing. 3. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone. 4. In the sentence of life, the devil maybe a comma, but never let him be the period. 5. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face lift. 6. When praying, don't give God instructions, just report for duty. 7. We don't change God's message, His message changes us.

1582. Never kiss a policewoman, she will say, 'Stop, hands up!' Never kiss an accountant, she will say, 'Next please!' Always kiss a teacher, she will say, 'Very good! Ok, repeat!'

1583. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, and disciplined. But no life is ever happy until it is lived for the glory of God. Keep the faith. Good morning!

1584. If you can't accept me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best!

1585. Wife: I'm warning you, darating na ang mister ko within one hour. Visitor: Bakit, wala naman akong ginagawang masama ah. Wife: Yun nga eh, kung may plano ka, dalian mo na! Bagal mo naman!

1586. Magpapaalam sana ako sa iyo, sabi ko, aalis na ako. Niyakap kita at bumulong ka rin sa akin, akala ko, pipigilan mo ako pero sabi mo, 'Huwag! Huwag ka nang bumalik.'

1587. A bottle of wine may not be intoxicating but a single drop of true love intoxicates.

1588. Inaantok na ako. Pagod kasi. Masyadong busy. Pero naalala kita! Greet muna kita. Good night!

1589. Man to wife on her birthday: 'You can have sex for an hour the way you want it.' Wife jumped up, kissed him and ran out of the house, 'Thank you! Thank you! I'll be back in an hour!'

1590. How will you know that your love has faded? It is when you don't get hurt anymore.

continue reading text messages 1561-1590...

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

text messages 1531-1560

1531. Husband to hotel manager. Come, hurry, my wife wants to jump out of the window. Manager: What can I do about that, sir? Husband: Idiot! The window won't open!

1532. My silence for a long time doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten you. My being hush is a simple symbol, a promise that even if I’m being quite, I’ll always be here for you.

1533. Forgiveness. Give it to people who have hurt you in one way or another, intentionally or not, even if they don't ask for it. Because forgiving and letting go hastens the healing.

1534. Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like., because the one you like will leave you for the one they love. Minikaniko ni Moniko ang makina ni Monica. Bituka, butika, butiki. Pasko, paksiw, pasko, paksiw. Tongue twister lang, akala mo, inspirational? =)

1535. A smile is the best lighting system of the face, the best cooling system of the head, and the best warming system of the heart. Keep smiling! =)

1536. Today, when you feel like nobody loves you and when you feel like everyone is against you, don't panic! Pito na kayo nina GMA, FG, Defensor, Neri, Atienza, Abalos at Razon!

1537. Ano english ng 'Baka maswerte ako'? Beef lucky me! Ano ang 'Maswerte ako inay'? Lucky me mami! Ano ang 'Maswerte akong lalake'? Lucky me with egg! Boink!

1538. Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because he was stuck to the chicken's foot.

1539. Magandang gabi po. Magtatanong lang po. Totoo po ba po na ang mga cute daw po ay magagalang po?

1540. There was a time I fell in love with someone very special. I told myself that I'll never give up on that person, but one day, I did. Why? Finally, I realized, it's time to be kind to myself naman. Masakit eh!

1541. Tagalog: Friend, ano ba ang difference ng opinion sa conclusion? Bisaya: Ang tanga mo naman! Papasok ka sa pinto kung opin-yun. Pero con-clus-yon, hindi pwedeng pumasok!

1542. DTI Inspector: Yung mga ibinebenta nyo raw na toys na made in China, marami daw lead sa pintura nito. Akong: Oo, malami led, pelo melon din silang glins at olens!

1543. Teacher(T): Sino pumatay kay Magellan, may initial na LL? Student(S): Lito Lapid? T: Inuulit ang pangalan nya. S: Lito Lito? T: Mahaba ang buhok nya. S: Lotlot? T: Madami sila. S: Lotlot and friends?

1544. Lasing: Hoy! Sinong matapang?! Labas! Lalake: Ako! Bakit? Lalaban ka?! Lasing: Pare, ihatid mo naman ako sa bahay, natatakot ako kay misis eh. =)

1545. I know you trust me, and I will never take it from you ever.

1546. Ang buhay ay mahirap, puno ng lumbay at pagsubok, pero kapag ikaw ay nadapa, bumangon ka at buong tapang mong sabihin, 'Sino gang tumulak sa akin? Parang tanga eh!'

1547. Years from now, I don't know who I'm gonna be, where' I'll be in my life and what I have by then. But one thing would be certain, that you'll still be my friend wherever I'll be.

1548. You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.

1549. Minsan, kailangan mong magparamdam sa mahal mo, sa kaibigan mo, sa tropa, sa kaberks, sa katext. Kasi, kung hindi, magugulat ka na lang isang araw, reply nila sa iyo, 'Hu U?'

1550. Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain, teardrops and laughter, pleasure and pain. Just remember, there was never a cloud that the sun couldn't shine through.

1551. Masakit mahalin ang taong hindi ka naman mahal. Nakakapagod lang umasa, pero kahit umiwas ka na, may sasakit pa ba kapag tumama yung siko mo sa kanto ng lamesa? Nakapanghihina di ba?

1552. Mirror Mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all? The mirror laughed and then it spat. 'It sure ain't you. You ugly prat!'

1553. When we sigh about our problems, they grow double but when we laugh about them and lift them up to God, they become bubbles. Have a bright and bubbly day!

1554. Pag-ibig, parang laro. Sinimulan ng dalawa, sasalihan ng iba. Minsan, taya ka pa, hahanapin at hahabulin mo. Paano kung ang hinabol mo, nakahanap na ng ibang kalaro? Itataya mo pa rin ba ang puso mo?

1555. People say that when you bite your tongue accidentally, someone you know misses you a lot. Hope you bit your tongue right now because I do miss you, yung tipong dumudugo na dahil sobrang miss kita!

1556. Mind teaser. You can't see me in a day, but you can see me twice in a week, but I appear only once in a year and twice in a decade. What am I?

1557. Value persons while you still have them. Because you'll never know till when they will stay in your life. You may get tired of having them, but at least be thankful they never get tired of having you.

1558. If one star will fall everytime I miss you, all stars will be out of the sky now. So, if ever there be no more stars tonight, it's all your fault, you make me miss you so much.

1559. It is hard when you met the right love at the wrong time. But what is more painful is when you have to give up the right love because you have to face the right time holding the wrong love!

1560. Ei! Baka may friend ka na gustong magwork. P18,500 ang starting. Sa palengke nga lang... tagalista ng noisy!

continue reading text messages 1531-1560...

text messages 1501-1530

1501. Ang kaibigan, parang bisyo. Yung iba, yosi, na panlaban sa tense at takot. Yung iba, alak, na nakakalasing. Pero ikaw, dahon, simple pero nakakaadik, astig di ba? High ka pa!

1502. Nurture others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words - Ang sagot ni Inday nang pinagmumura sya ng sir nya at hindi pinautang nito.

1503. You eased the pain when I faked the wound. You calmed me down when I faked the mood. You are instantly there when I faked the call. But why didn't you catch me? I did not fake the fall!

1504. Promdi(P) bumps a foreigner(F). P: Sorry F: Sorry too P: (napaisip) I'm sorry 3. F: What are you sorry 4? P: Sorry 5! (akala mo, bobo ako no?) F: Sorry but you're sick (walks off) P: Six dapat, di ba?

1505. Some won’t appreciate what you say or do, but as long as you speak honestly from the heart, you’ll be fine. This is not a perfect life, but life loves the person who dares to live it by being real. Good day! =)

1506. 'Ang mga pasa at bukol na ito ay ebidensya ng kanyang marubdob na pag-ibig. Kapag hindi nya na ako sinasaktan, ibig sabihin, hindi na nya ako mahal, at yun ang aking ikamamatay.' - Nova Villa (Super Inday and the Golden Bibe) Pamatay! Nyahaha! =)

1507. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along.

1508. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =)

1509. I showed a picture of myself to you and said, 'Tingnan mo oh, tayong dalawa.' But you said, 'Asan ako?' Then, I pointed at my chest and smiled, 'Nandito ka sa puso ko.'

1510. Bush: Let's help one another. Erap: Tayo'y magtulungan. Bush: Let's strive together. Erap: Tayo'y magsikap. Bush: Because in union, there is strength! Erap: Dahil sa sibuyas, may titigas!

1511. Throw your worries to the wind and let them fly to God. In the end, it is He alone who guides the wind to breeze joy and love back to you! Nice day!

1512. Thought of the day: Married men live longer than single men but married men are a lot more willing to die. Nyahaha! :)

1513. Have you tried saying you're ok but you're not? Pretending to understand but you don't? Acting like you're busy but in reality, you're lonely? Convincing people that you just wanna be friends but what you really want is more than friends? When you know that he/she has somebody else, but you pretend that it doesn't hurt but it really hurts so bad inside? When you say you've moved on, but the truth is you're just still waiting? When you say you're over her, but you know you still love her? When you say you can't relate with this message, but then you really do? :)

1514. Kung kasalanan mang maging maganda/gwapo, sunog na ang kaluluwa ko sa impyerno!

1515. TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct! Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria Ma’am, Hahaha!!!

1516. Slap the face of that crazy bitch! You must show to her that regardless of the class we belong in the society, respect should not be put at risk! Angelika is nothing but an opportunist, heartless devila! I damn hate her! Duh! - Inday, watching Marimar.

1517. Before you say “I can’t”, make sure you’ve tried. Before you let doubts stop you, confront them with facts. Before fear holds you back, go forward with faith. Before you believe others are better, show them what a winner you are. Before you go looking for happiness, make your own wherever you are. Good Morning!!

1518. Boy: Nay! Muntik na akong maging top 1 sa klase! Nanay: Bakit mo naman nasabi yan? Boy: Iniannounce kasi kanina yung top 1 sa klase, ang itinuro ni Ma'am, yung katabi ko! Muntik na ako!

1519. Alcohol solves no problems. Neither does milk. Pero buti pa ang alak, libre kung minsan. Meron na bang nagblow-out ng gatas?

1520. Bad trip! Puyat ako! Baliw yata yung kapitbahay namin, sigaw nang sigaw, nagwala talaga. Hindi ako makatulog sa sinabi nya! 'Kukote, kahit picture lang, maawa ka, please!' :)

1521. Smile increases value of face. Anger spoils beauty of soul. Faith is force of life. Confidence is companion of success. So, keep smiling, cute child of God. Take care always!

1522. Why Math has been hated by some? Because it requires them to think and forces them to give the correct and exact value. Because it has a clear distinction of right and wrong. Most people love to speak about any issue but hate to accept that they're wrong. That's the beauty of Math. Right is right and wrong is wrong.

1523. Isang araw, pwedeng mawala ang pag-ibig na iniingatan mo. Lahat ng saya, mauuwi na lang sa alaala. Lahat ng pangarap, hindi na matutupad. Pero ganun daw talaga, hindi lahat ng hawak mo, sa iyo na!

1524. The only feeling of loss is when you love someone more than you love yourself. - Goodwill Hunting

1525. Life is hard but He provides. Life is unpredictable but He guides. Life is unfair but He cares. Life is always a challenge but He watches over us. Good evening!

1526. Unrevealed truth about boys (Attitude sa pagtetext): Kapag nanliligaw: 'Lunchtime na. Kain na ikaw. Huwag ka papagutom ha. Luv u.' First 3 months mag-on: 'Baby, kumain ka na? Kain ka na ha? Luv u.' 4 to 8 months: 'Baby, kakain muna ako, kain ka na rin. Luv u.' 9 to 13 months: 'Baby, gutom na ako. Kain muna ako.' 14 months and above: 'Eh sa hindi ako makapagreply dahil kumakain ako eh! Alangan namang kumakain yung tao tapos nagtetext nang nagtetext!' :)

1527. Before sleeping, what are you thinking? Problems? Money? Love life? Work? Studies? Food? Try to think this: 'Thank God for everything He've done to your life!' and then, the rest will be fine. Good night!

1528. In the beginning, God created the world in 6 days. Then, he rested on the 7th day. Then, a stupid moron created a school. From then on, pucha! Nobody rested.

1529. Come here. Take off your pants and get on top of me. Enjoy me until you're totally satisfied. Lovingly yours, Toilet!!!!

1530. Kailan mo masasabing pangit ang isang magandang babae? Answer? Kapag tumabi sa akin! Hahaha!

continue reading text messages 1501-1530...

Monday, December 1, 2008

text messages 1471-1500

1471. Confucius says: If you want to remember something, tie a string around your finger. If you want to forget everything, tie a rope around your neck! Good night!

1472. Did you know that 92% of what we worry about never really happens? And the 8% left is usually manageable? Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. So, don't worry too much, things have a way of working out and what's meant to happen will happen. ;)

1473. If the wishing star offered to give me either a million dollars or the greatest friend in the world I'd take the million dollars cause I've already got the greatest friend in the world.

1474. When everything seems unfair, when all that you do is not appreciated, I'll go with you, wipe your tears, take you for a walk and tell you, 'Ito ang lollipop, tahan na, hindi natin sila bati.'

1475. It’s not easy to let go of something you’ve put everything. But it’s harder to realize later on that you’ve been holding on to something that wasn’t there…anymore. :(

1476. The measure of a person is not how well he prepares for everything to go right, but on how gracefully he stands up and moves on after everything goes wrong.

1477. Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn to grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel always. Be you and be ok with it.

1478. God puts certain person in our lives for a reason, and whatever God had in mind for bringing you into mine, I don't really mind. I'm just thankful He did! =)

1479. It is not who I am underneath, it is what I do that defines me. - Batman. Iniisip nila ay hindi mahalaga, mahal kita maging sino ka man. - Robin. Good night! - Kukote.

1480. Falling down doesn’t make you a failure but staying down does. Always remember that no one is perfect and when you fall harder, you bounce back higher.

1481. I learned how to love without expecting something in return. For a while, it felt good but soon enough, I had to stop. Why? Because the more I love the person, the more I lose myself. =(

1482. A woman of real beauty smiles at troubles, gathers strengths from distress and grows brave through reflection and prayers. Send this to beautiful women only! =)

1483. Today is wish making day. If you are reading this SMS, may God bless you and may all your wishes come true and have a good time in all the stages of your life. Just wish anything and forward this SMS to all your friends including me and if you get back this SMS thrice, it means your wish will surely come true.

1484. If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do and I will.

1485. Few will have the greatness to bend love stories itself, but each one of us can work to change a portion of our hearts, and in the total of all those acts will be written deep in our souls.

1486. Sa kasalan. Pari: Sana, ang donation mo ay katumbas ng ganda ng pakakasalan mo. Groom: Eto, P5 father. Tiningnan ng pari ang bride. Pari: Eto P2, sukli mo!

1487. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people who have touched their lives.

1488. It's an achievement to make a thousand friends in a lifetime. Yet, the real achievement is to keep a friend for a lifetime! Good evening.

1489. Ang nagmamahal sa iyo, minsan, nakakalimutan, minsan, binabalewala, minsan, pinagmamataasan, dahil mahal ka nga naman. Pero kung iisipin, minsan lang sya dumaan, kelangan pa bang saktan?

1490. Man in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. 'Nurse,' he mumbles, 'are my testicles black?' Nurse raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. She takes a close look and says, 'There's nothing wrong with them, sir.' Man pulls off oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, 'Thanks for that, it was just wonderful but listen very, very closely and carefully... Are my test results back?' :)

1491. I used to think that I can wait. Wait till there's nothing left to wait for. But then I realized, I can wait till I forget the reason why I'm waiting.

1492. When things go wrong, when everything you've tried didn't work out, when all else fails, and you feel things hanging... Control+Alt+Del... restart mo na yan!

1493. The saddest quote by the funniest man ever born on this planet: 'I always like walking in the rain so no one can see me crying.' - Charlie Chaplin.

1494. Best things in life: Nakapulot ka ng wallet at walang nakakita. Libreng pagkain. Bumagyo sa araw ng thesis defense mo. Tatay/nanay mo ang presidente. Nakapag-asawa ng ubod ng yaman ang ate/kuya mo. Pumayat ka ng walang effort. Kamukha mo si Lindsay Lohan kung girl ka, si Brad Pitt naman kung guy ka. Mga housemaids na loyal. Negative ang blood test mo. Niligawan ka ng crush mo. Iniwan ka ng dyowa mong matagal mo nang gustong itapon. Aircon. Free ride kapag nastranded ka. Manalo sa lotto, bingo, casino. Beautiful kids. Gifted child. Ice cold coke kapag summer. Hot shower. Acquittal. Pictures na maganda ang angle mo. UAAP/NCAA champion ang university mo. Marathon ng favorite tv show mo. Hot pandesal. Nakarma ang kaaway mo. Winning moments. Inuman with friends. Peace of mind.

1495. Si Optimus Prime ay isang magiting na mandirigma. Pass this to 10 friends at magiging Autobot ka sa loob ng dalawang araw. Totoo ito! Yung pinsan ko, nagtransform na, naging tricycle! Nyahaha!

1496. When you need someone to be there for you and no one is around, gaze up to the sky, syempre, wala ako dun, but remember, we're just under the same sky, I could never be too far.

1497. Butterfly din naman ako eh, brown nga lang! - ipis (hek hek hek!)

1498. Quote for a lifetime: Ang buhay ay parang ako... Masarap!

1499. You can’t tap your back for a job well done. You can’t hug yourself for comfort and you can’t cry on your shoulders when tears fall. This is why you have friends in yourlife to let them do whatever you can’t. Good Morning!!!

1500. Ang pagmamahal, hindi natin pinipilit. Hindi rin ito sinasadya. Hindi kayang diktahan. Hindi natin basta ginusto na lang. Dahil kung kontrolado natin ito, magmamahal ba tayo ng taong sasaktan lang tayo?

continue reading text messages 1471-1500...

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