1321. When you receive this message, send it to: 3 that you think is amazing, 2 persons you secretly hate, 2 bestfriends, 3 that you think is stupid, 3 that you always think of, 1 crush, 4 that you want to get close with, 1 that you love, 1 you idolize, 2 persons that you can't forget and 1 you wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent you this message. Bwahahaha!
1322. Bisaya teacher: Class, I want you to watch Sex Scenes! Class: What?! Teacher: What's wrong? It's beatipul pilm starring Bruce Welles. Class: Ahh! Sixth Sense!
1323. A child in the farm looks up, sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place. A traveler in the plane looks down, sees the farm house and dreams of home. That's life, you'll never realize the value of a thing unless it moves away from you. So be happy and start enjoying what you have now.
1324. Man and wife out on African safari when suddenly, a lion sprang out of nowhere and dragged wife with its jaw. Wife: Shoot! Shoot! Husband: I can't! Wala na akong film!
1325. Para sa makulit, pero mabait. Para sa sabog, pero kalog. Para sa mapang-asar, pero thoughtful. Para sa maloko, pero cute. Para sa akin pala ito?! Pakisend nga ulit!
1326. May the Lord give you a fresh supply of strength to do your tasks, anoint your works, bless your plans so that even your smallest accomplishments will glorify God. Good morning!
1327. Pare, nag-away kami ng girlfriend ko. Bakit naman? She asks for a gift, sabi kahit ano daw, basta may diamond. Yun naman pala eh, anong niregalo mo? Baraha!
1328. Be a person full of love and life, stay simple yet happy. When things go wrong, don't go blue, just say, 'I will get thru.' And always remember, God loves you. Take care!
1329. Anak: Inay, nung nasa bus kami ni papa, sabi nya, bigay ko inuupuan ko sa dalagang sumakay. Inay: Tama yun anak. Anak: Pero inay, nakakandong lang ako kay papa nun!
1330. When you love, it's not for you to be understood but for you to understand. Not for you to take but for you to be taken. To listen, not to dictate. To sacrifice and not to demand. Not to count or measure but to love.
1331. Mom and girl are watching a movie. Suddenly, there's a love scene. Girl: Mom, what are they doing? Mom: Oh, they're baking. Girl: Ok. Then in the morning. Girl: Mom, I know you and dad are baking last night! Mom: How did you know? Girl: I tasted the frosting on the couch! Eeeoowww!
1332. People like you are found only once in a lifetime. I want to be sure that I'm not going to spend that lifetime looking for another you! I'm happy I met you!
1333. It takes a thousand workers to build a castle and a million soldiers to protect a country, but just one woman to make a happy home. Let's thank the maid!
1334. Question: What is the new definition of old age? Answer: It is when you see someone sexy and the only thing it arouses is your memory!
1335. Life is like the sea; now troubled, later calm. But even how big the waves are, or how high the tide is, always remember: Tide is miracle! Di gyud ilisan. Ilisan pang bana!
1336. It is not destiny that determines love, it is choice. Our so-called destiny is a lie. Relationships last long not because they're destined to last long. Relationships last long because two brave people made a choice - to keep it, to fight for it, and to work for it. Meanwhile, other relationships fail not because they're destined to fail. They failed because one of the two, or both, made the choice - to set each other free.
1337. Three things in life when gone never come back: time, words and opportunity. Three things in life that should never be lost: peace, hope and honesty. Three things in life that are most valuable: love, faith and prayer. Three things in life that are never certain: dreams, success and fortune. Three things in life that make a person: hardwork, sincerity and commitment. Three things in life that can destroy a person: lust, pride and anger. Three things that are truly constant: change, death and God. Good evening!
1338. Sometimes we think we have so little and always wanting But if we start to appreciate the little things in life, we will find out that we have so much. So much of family and friends, so much of love and so much of God in our hearts.
1339. Boy: Can I touch your software? Girl: Show me first your hardware. Boy: Can I install it in your system? Girl: Ok, if you cover it with anti-virus first. =)
1340. Guy1: Alam mo, last month, isinama ko ang girlfriend ko sa bahay ng lolo kong milyonaryo. Guy2: Oh, bakit malungkot ka? Anong nangyari? Guy1: Ayun, lola ko na sya ngayon!
1341. Man: Doctor, bakit dinugo sa first night ang asawa ko e dating GRO yan. (Ineksamin ng doktor ang misis) Doc: Wala po kayong dapat ikabahala, natuklap lang po ang kalyo!
1342. A salesman stopped at a farmhouse for the night. Farmer: Sorry, we don't have vacant room, but I can let you sleep with my daughter if you promise not to bother her. (Salesman agreed.) He went inside the dark room, undressed and slept into bed. He felt the farmer's daughter at his side. Next morning, he asked for his bill. Farmer: 50 pesos only because you shared the bed. Salesman (paid the bill and said): Your daughter was very cold. Farmer: Yes, I know, we are going to bury her today.
1343. Sometimes, two people decide to be just friends even if they still love each other and I often wonder why? I suppose it's not the love that's so hard to sustain, but the commitment that complicates everything.
1344. The best feeling in the world is realizing you're perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed. Have a nice day ahead!
1345. Reports have it that Congress intends to ammend the Bible after they are done with the Constitution. I think they intend to abolish Hell before their terms here on earth expire.
1346. Minsan, nakakapagod maghabol at makipaglaro ng taguan sa taong mahal mo. Pero alam mo, mas nakakapagod at mas mahirap magtaguan lalo pa kung ikaw ang taya sa Mall of Asia! =)
1347. The most interesting thing about heart transplants is that one completely loses his own heart and be replaced with someone else's yet still has the feelings for the same person he/she loves. This proves that love works in the minds of people and not in their hearts. Bottomline is, love is a state of mind. You'll learn how to forget only if you try doing so. - Dr. Burke, Grey's Anatomy.
1348. Ang kaibigan, parang movie! May action, may comedy, may drama, may horror at may love story! Pero kung ikaw ang bida, ahh, alam ko yan. Sure ako, scandal yan! hehehe.
1349. Teacher: Who can give an example of a tag question? Pupil: My teacher is beautiful, isn't she? Teacher: Good! Itagalog mo nga! Pupil: Si ma'am ay maganda, hindi naman, di ba?!
1350. When life gets you down and you feel weary, draw inspiration and strengths from these words of the great poet and philosopher, Chito Miranda: 'Tama na yan, inuman na! Hoy pare ko, tumagay ka! Nanlalamig ang lalamunan, naghihintay, nag-aabang!' =)
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