Saturday, November 29, 2008

text messages 1411-1440

1411. Life's pretty simple. When you're asking for apples and life hands you lemons, make lemonade. If you're on your way out and it starts to rain, at least you won't have to water the plants anymore. It's a matter of seeing things in perspective. The benefits may not be immediate nor obvious, but you have to know this for sure: God will never give you anything you can't handle.

1412. The Don'ts to Remember: Don't wait for time. Make it. Don't wait for love. Feel it. Don't wait for money. Earn it. Don't wait for the path. Hack it. Don't wait for opportunity. Create it. Don't go for less. Get the best. Don't compare. Be unique. Don't avoid failure. Use it. Don't dwell on mistakes. Learn from them. Don't back down. Go around. Don't close your eyes. Open your mind. Don't run from life. Embrace and enjoy it. Don't just read this. Share it!

1413. One day, a sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac were talking in a psychic ward... Sadist: I'm bored, why don't we torture a cat? Zoophile: Yeah, we'll torture it and then f*ck it! Murderer: We'll torture it, f*ck it and then kill it! Necrophile: We'll torture it, f*ck it, kill it and f*ck it again! Pyromaniac: Yeah! Then, we'll burn the cat! ... Sudden silence... Then, all asked the masochist, 'Why he didn't say anything?' Masochist: Meow!

1414. Do you know what makes me happy when you text me? Not your message, but your name that appears when it beeps. Because I miss the sender behind it.

1415. If you love someone, you say it right then out loud or the moment just passes you by. - My Bestfriend's Wedding

1416. Saan ka na? Magreply ka naman. Andito kami, naghihintay sa iyo sa may GMA Studio. May taping tayo ngayon sa commercial ng Safeguard. Bilisan mo, ikaw ang germs! hahaha!

1417. I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress. - Inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo.

1418. Umaga na naman, gising mga pasaway! Magtanggal ng muta at panis na laway. Humarap sa salamin at sabihin, 'Cute ko talaga.' Tiyak, ganda inyong umaga kahit kagigising mo pa lang ay nagsinungaling ka na! =)

1419. Life is unpredictable. You may not live long and miss out telling your friends that they're appreciated. So I'm telling you now that life won't be the same without you as one of my friends.

1420. Kapag nagtetext ako sa 'yo, ang gusto ko, napapangiti kita kahit sa simpleng pangungumusta, sa mga quotes na ipinapasa ko, gusto ko gumagaan yung loob mo, at nasasabi mo na... naalala na naman ako ni 'kukote' =)

1421. Boy: Pwede bang umakyat ng ligaw? Girl: Sorry, wala kaming stairs!

1422. Ang love, parang work. Mahirap pero masaya, maraming kakumpetensya, pero kinakaya. May dayoff at overtime, tapos, minsan, may bonus pa. Eh paano kung pagod ka na? Magreresign ka na lang ba??

1423. Three important stars in your life: 1. Party like a rock star. 2. Look like a movie star, and most importantly, 3. F*ck like a porn star! :D Awooo! Yeaba!

1424. The hardest part in walking away from the one you love is the part that you realize that they will never ever run after you.

1425. Inday, punta ka sa botika. Ibili mo si sir ng Viagra. Maid: Sa iyo ba gagamitin ni Sir? Misis: Bakit? Maid: Kasi, pag sa akin, Red Bull lang, pwede na!

1426. How to get the person you love? 1. Be friendly sa kanya. 2. Intindihin mo sya. 3. Mahalin mo lang sya hanggang magsawa ka. Kapag wala pa ring nangyari, lasingin mo! Talo-talo na! =)

1427. The awareness that two people are soulmates should be bilateral. If only one person believes it, it's called stalking. - Jessica Zafra.

1428. Nun complains about male nudity in the apartment accross hers. Police: But sister, from here, you only see him from the waist up and that's not a problem. Nun: Hello! Halika, tumayo ka sa ibabaw ng mesa! Ayun noh, kitang kita ko noh!

1429. Be thankful that you don't have everything you desire, if you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful for the difficult times, it's during those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

1430. People say I'm strong because I'm numb to any pain. Actually, it's my special technique. What they don't know is that I had to break my heart a million times just to master it.

1431. Sexy girl nagkukumpisal. Priest: O iha, ano ang iyong ikukumpisal? Sexy: Father, kapag nakakarinig po ako ng lalakeng nagmumura, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong yayain syang magsex. Priest: Put*ng ina, hindi nga?! =)

1432. Husband: Mahal, kung hindi ako makaligtas sa operasyong ito, ikaw na sana ang bahala sa mga bata. I love you all! Wife: Tumigil ka! Wala pang namatay sa tuli!

1433. Don't talk too much when you're mad, you might say things you don't mean to say.

1434. Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.

1435. God gave us two gifts: one is choice, the other, chance. The choice of a good life and the chance to make it the best. God bless you with a lovely day!

1436. In the Lord's prayer, the word 'love' did not appear; 'forgive' was used. It's because forgiving is the highest expression of loving. Have a nice day!

1437. Not everything that can be counted counts and not everything that counts can be counted.

1438. Nang pumatong ako, gumalaw sya, hanggang sabay na kami. Una, dahan-dahan hanggang pabilis nang pabilis. Shit! Ang sarap sarap. Ikaw, gusto mo rin bang sumakay sa duyan? Hehe.

1439. A good person is never alone. One who sows thoughtfulness reaps friendship. One who plants kindness reaps love. Enjoy the fruits you've sown well. Good morning!

1440. Love changes you. The way you act, the way you think, the way you decide. Sometimes, you even go against your principles and beliefs in life. Loving doesn't always mean you'll be happy. But you will soon realize that it is better if the person you love would be happy with someone else, than lonely with you. That's what you call sacrifice.


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