Text Messages 1111-1140

1111. Lagi mong tatandaan na kahit ano man ang mangyari, nasa likuran mo lang ako parati. - puwet.

1112. Always smile. Our faces are the best billboards where the ads of life are seen. The Bible says, 'Why worry when the Lord is with you?' Have a blessed day!

1113. Lalake, nahulog sa septic tank, sumigaw, 'Sunog! Sunog!' Dumating ang bumbero, naligtas sya. Tinanong sya, 'Bakit sunog ang isinigaw mo?' Lalake: Kung ebak ba, pupunta ba kayo dito?

1114. I once asked my angel why when I think of the person I love, I cry. She told me: 'When dreams won't fit your eyes, they fall and become tears.'

1115. An elephant asked the camel, 'Is that your boobs on your back?' The camel laughed and replied, 'What a silly question from someone with a big penis on his face.'

1116. The bear and the two men. Two men were walking in a forest when they saw a bear. One immediately ran and climbed up a tree. The second man was slow and was left behind. So, the second man pretended to be dead. The bear then came, walked around him and smelled his head. Then the bear went away. When the bear was gone, his friend came down the tree and asked, 'What did the bear tell you?' He said, 'Don't trust someone who leaves you in time of need or trouble.' Hanep! Nagsasalita yung bear!

1117. B1: Tol, ikaw daw yung nagsabi na itsura ko, parang unggoy? B2: Huh? Bobo? Sabi ko, ang itsura ng unggoy, parang ikaw! B1: Ah, yun pala? Ayusin mo kasi para walang gulo!

1118. Sa buhay, madami kang makikilalang epal, may mga ungas na dadaan, may mga jologs na mang-iiwan. Pero ok lang, nandyan ka naman, isa sa mga balahura kong kaibigan na masasabi kong 'Oi, mahal ko yan!'

1119. Minsan ba, naranasan mo yung bigyan ka ng sobrang importansya ng isang tanga? Na halos kalimutan yung pagkatao nya para lang mapasaya ka? Ako, naranasan ko na yun. Problema lang, ako yung tanga! Hehehe.

1120. What makes coffee sweet? Sugar? Wrong. It is the stirring that you do after you add sugar. As in life, it is what you do with what you have that makes your life worth living.

1121. Let not other people become the source of your frustration. As a famous talk show host said, 'You don't have to prove anything to anyone. It's not your problem when they reject you, it's theirs! Only stuck up idiots would require you to please them.' Start your day right by kicking some ass! Keep banging dude!

1122. Pinilit kong huwag magtext dahil alam kong istorbo lang ako. Pero talagang hindi ko matiis na hindi ka kumustahin! Magalit ka na, pero miss lang talaga kita!

1123. Sometimes, you just can't take things back to the way they used to be, no matter how you try, regardless of how sorry you are. Because in life, there are no rewinds, only plays, so, play it right.

1124. Kapag bored ka na at wala ka nang mahanap na pwedeng gawin, magbukas ka ng zipper, ilagay mo ang kamay mo sa loob at ilabas mo ang libro sa bag mo! Magbasa ka!

1125. Breakfast advisory: Ang kape ay pampanerbyos samantalang ang gatas ay pampalakas. Kaya huwag uminom ng kapeng may gatas dahil ito ay pampalakas ng nerbyos. Gandang umaga!

1126. A sad story: There was a guy who was tired of reading his girlfriend's messages. They were always 'I miss you,' 'I love you'. One night while lying in a bed, he received a text message from her. He didn't read it, instead, he went to sleep. The next morning, he was awakened by a call from his girlfriend's mom. She was crying while telling him that his girlfriend was raped and killed just last night. He remembered he got a message from her and so he read it. 'Honey, please come and help me, somebody's following me.'

1127. Each of us are like butterflies with one wing. The only way we can fly is to hold each other and share wings. So, if you have no wings at all, it means, baka higad ka pre!

1128. Love may take long but it will always take you to where you belong. Just hold on and enjoy the journey. No need to hurry because your heart will know when it's finally home!

1129. I may not be a clock that can text you 24 hours a day but my heart will be like a clock that won't stop caring and saying, 'You're such a nice person I will always miss.'

1130. Beauty may only be skin deep but men aren't interested in what your bones look like. :)

1131. May 7 frogs sa 1 box. Sa box, may 23 pairs na pato and 1 pusa. Ang isang pato ay nakakain ng 56 na suso. Tapos, may 5 langgam. Relax, don't worry. Walang tanong, hi lang!

1132. I can't promise that I will not leave you. Sometimes, we need to say goodbye because we can't hold on to something till the end. But always remember, friends pa rin tayo kahit may asawa ka na?!

1133. I believe in everything, love at first sight, happy endings, destiny, fairy tales and even magic. Pero nasaktan ako, tama nga sila, ano? No words can ever define love, kundi 'katangahan'.

1134. I'm your friend but God is your bestfriend. You can cry to me but God can dry your tears. I love you but God loves you deeper. You can hold my hand but God can carry you better.

1135. Ku ka ki ka ka ku kata ke ko ku kika ki kuka ko kika. Kuko kiku kuki ka. Congratulations! You have successfully learned the monkey language! Come and claim your banana!

1136. It is so much easier to say that you don't love someone than try to explain to everyone all the reasons why you still do.

1137. Nang makita kita, parang ayaw kitang tawagin. Kasi, baka balewalain mo lang ako. Pero naisip ko, hindi porket sikat ka, hindi na kita pwedeng makausap. Kaya tinawag kita, 'Bakekang, Bakekang! Papirma naman!'

1138. Nurse: Doc, bakit tinanggihan nyo yung pasyente? Doc: Alin, yung bakla? Nurse: Opo. Baka sabihin, namimili tayo, porke't bading sya. Doc: Ano naman ang raraspahin ko sa kanya?!

1139. Be grateful that you don't have everything you want. That means you have the opportunity to be happier tomorrow than you are today. Sleep sweetly. Good night!

1140. Life is a song we play each day. Every mistake we make in life puts the song out of tune, but keep on trying. One day, every melody will come to its tune. Good evening!