901. For all the things we've shared, the endless times we cared, for helping me thru good and bad times, for the jokes and laughter and funny lines, for being part of my life, i'm serious. Thank you!
902. Sometimes, I feel like a cup of coffee. A little bitter, a little sweet, but oh so hot!
903. Anger is a condition where the tongue works faster than the mind. Hold it before you regret it! Have a good morning! Take care.
904. Great signs! 1. Gynecologist - Dr. Chua at your cervix. 2. Septic tank truck - Yesterday's meals on wheels. 3. Plumber's office - We repair what your husband fixed. 4. Tire shop - Invite us to your next blowout. 5. Electrical shop - Let us remove your shorts. 6. Maternity room door - Push, push, push! 7. Optometrist's clinic - If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
905. Paano kung masaya ka na sa kasalukuyan, tapos, isang araw, binalikan ka ng nakaraan. Alin ang iiwan mo? Yung ngayon na unggoy ka na? O yung una na mukhang dinosaur ka pa? Hehe!
906. Happy life is not how fast we move nor how long we live. But it's how we cherish every moment with our loved ones and most with God in our hearts.
907. The only true painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.
908. Basta ba huwag nya akong sasalubungin, kundi, babanggain ko sya! - G. Liner, ang bus na nakapatay kay Poknat!
909. There were times I love to hate you. And then I love to love you. It's like I want to throw you off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch you.
910. Todilip, todilip... Manny Pacquiao, singing 'Irreplaceable'. Hehehe.
911. Bakit ang kaibigan, kapag may problema ka, tutulungan ka? Kapag malungkot ka, nandyan sya? Kapag umiyak ka, papatawanin ka? Kapag may lakad, isasama ka? Pero kapag sinabi mong maganda ka, aangal. Ang labo, no?
912. Please warn your male friends to be wary of a clever scam in Megamall parking where my friend himself was a victim. Two pretty 19-year old girls will approach you and ask for a ride Once inside the car, they start making love to each other and one will move up and perform oral sex on you while the other steals your wallet. He lost his wallet on Wednesday, Friday and twice this Saturday. He's going to buy more wallets tomorrow. Hehehe.
913. Hi! Sorry to disturb you. Tulog ka na ba? Sorry kung nagising kita. Sige, matulog ka na ulit. Pero kung gising ka pa, may tanong lang ako. Bakit hindi ka pa tulog? Siguro, gising ka pa. Tulog na!
914. Being single is cool. No worrying about anyone. No obligations. No heartaches. But you know what? If you will never get your heart broken, you will never learn to love.
915. A sweet fight... Gay: Ayoko na talaga. Dadalhin ko na lahat ng akin, hindi na ako babalik! Guy: Hoy bakla! May nakalimutan ka. Gay: Ano? Guy: Ako. (ganda ni bakla!) Wahahay!
916. An old lady offers the bus driver some peanuts. So, the driver happily munches them. Every 5 minutes, she gives him a handful more peanuts. Driver: Why don't you eat them yourself? Old lady: I can't chew. Look, I have no teeth! Driver: Then, why did you buy them? Old lady: Oh, I just love the chocolate around them!
917. Good news, bad news, worst news: Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. Worst: You are in them. Hehehe.
918. Trivia: 'One thousand' contains the letter 'a' but none of the words from one to nine hundred ninety-nine has an 'a' in it. Sige, kahit magbilang ka pa!
919. Anak: Inay, sino ba talaga ang tatay ko? Nanay: Ewan ko anak, pasensya ka na, nung ginawa kasi kita, nakatalikod ako eh!
920. Nurse: Dok, bakit ayaw ng mga lalaki magcondom kapag nagsesex sila? Doktor: Tanungin kita, masarap bang mangulangot nang nakagwantes??
921. May mga bagay, kahit hindi aminin, may nakakaalam, kahit hindi sabihin, may nakakarinig, kahit pilit ilihim, may nakakadama. Parang ngayon, kahit hindi ko sabihin, alam nang lahat na umaga na. Good morning!
922. A blind man had a board saying, 'Help me, I'm blind.' Only few gave. But there was this man who was always giving. One day, when that man passed, he took the board and changed the sign in it. Now, the blind man noticed a lot was giving, so when that man passed, the blind man asked, 'Excuse me sir, but what did you put in my board?' The man smiled and said, 'Such a beautiful day, too bad I can't see it.' A positive outlook in life will make a difference.
923. If someone would ask me what a beautiful life means, I would lean my head on your shoulder and hold you close to me and answer with a smile: 'Like this!' :)
924. Man: Miss, 5 Viagra nga! Tindera: Dami naman sir! Man: Yes! Very hot ang date ko tonight! The next day. Man: Miss, 2 bote ng Betadine. Tindera: Sir! Anong nangyari sa kamay nyo? Man: Hmp! Hindi sumipot ang date ko eh!
925. You know it is love when you have been saying goodbye for the last half hour but you're still not ready to leave. =)
926. Dying husband: I have something to tell you. Wife: Don't speak, just rest. Husband: No, I must confess, I had sex with your sister and your best friend. Wife: Sshhh. I know! That's why I poisoned you!
927. The verse 'Don't be afraid' appears 365 times in the Bible. Enough assurance that for each day of the year, we can trust God to face everything with Him.
928. Ngayon ay araw ng mga magaganda at gwapo, mga sexy at matalino. Send this sa taong iniisip mong bumabagay sa message na ito. Huwag mo nang isend sa akin dahil libo-libo na ang natanggap ko!
929. Minsan madaldal daw ako. Minsan seryoso, minsan sweet, minsan manhid, minsan KJ, minsan cool, pero kahit ganito ako, tandaan mo, nahawa lang ako sa iyo. Normal naman ako dati eh!
930. Do not lose your health getting wealthy or you'll soon lose your wealth trying to get healthy again.
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